Songwriting weather

Wednesday 23 March 2011

Another day that took me by surprise. Fresh from the exhilaration of yesterday, I had enough residue of warm satisfaction to enable me to deal with some unexpected challenges calmly and flexibly. When shit happens – as it WILL, from time to time – this is my perspective: If it’s not death, just give me a few minutes and I’ll come up with Plan B.

I believe that life is filled with alternatives, if we’re just patient enough time to spot them. I’m trying to hone my skills in the alternative-spotting department. Breathe in, breathe out. Slowly getting there.

Firstly, yesterday was a hugely significant day for me because I sorted out a major issue on which I’d procrastinated for long. I’m talking years. I went to SARS (South African Revenue Services) and filled in all my outstanding income tax returns. Phew!! Not as bad as I’d thought it would be; I had been paying tax all these years - just neglected to send in tax returns. There are penalties, though, which I accept as my due (success story of Calvinistic old-SA socialisation). Even though I got there at 08:30 – which I’d thought was early, I still had a three-hour wait. I must say, though, unlike the pitiful state of affairs at the Home Affairs and UIF offices, this place is super-jacked up: at the reception desk, you’re given a number, and you can sit wherever you like, which means you don’t have to play unmusical chairs.  The place is clean, there are television sets to keep you from dying of boredom (I read and played Sudoku), and the system of announcing the numbers works very well. The clerk who assisted me was efficient, helpful and proactive. You could see she was genuinely interested in helping people, which one seldom encounters at government offices. Too many government employees look miserable, brightening up only when they’re due for a tea or lunch break. Sorry, but this cynicism is based on too many lousy experiences. This lady, however, gave me hope – if she’s anything to go by, things appear to be moving in the right direction.

Secondly, yesterday was extremely significant, because I moved beyond my previous best in the pool, and swam a healthy SIXTY lengths! I can hardly believe it, but I did! And it wasn’t even me pushing myself - it just happened seamlessly and naturally, like I choose to believe all the dreams I have will fall into place, in their own time, smoothly and organically. And why shouldn’t they? It doesn’t mean because my great-grandfather got from A to B by horse and carriage that I can’t aspire to a smooth, sleek ride. (By the way, my current car, Gertie, is once again testing my patience, but that’s another story.)

I now know the factors that predispose me to a good, long swim. One of them is that the gym shouldn’t be too busy. More specifically, the pool shouldn’t be full. If it is, I shouldn’t be asked to share my lane. I don’t have much tolerance for that; it just spoils my fun. So I generally try to go at times when the gym’s less busy. Also, I shouldn’t have to rush off to another appointment, because that forces me to watch the clock. I love going for a swim when I have loads of time to spare. That means I fully immerse myself in the experience. What works for me, and this might sound crazy, is to focus on something else. Once I’ve done twenty lengths, I’m warmed up, I can feel my rhythm’s where it should be, and I’m basically able to go on and on. What I do from that point on, is some form of meditation. I choose a topic and contemplate it for ten lengths. It’s hard to describe, but it fuels me. Basically I combine my physical workout with some of the techniques taught in Mind Power. So for ten lengths at a time, I think about my music goals, my fitness goals, my dream home, my ideal partner, etc. It’s fun. You learn, in Mind Power, not to limit yourself to reality, and that’s really a whole lot of fun. If I’d limited myself to “reality”, I’d still be swimming a maximum of 12 lengths, which was what I was doing when I started swimming seriously in October 2010. If I’d limited myself to “reality”, I wouldn’t be doing a solo gig once a week, because my “reality” (read, “limit”) would be that I needed a second musician to make it happen. Says who?

Different is not always worse – it’s just different. We’re always quantifying and stratifying, always creating hierarchical systems, always seeing things in terms of absolutes, mutually exclusive. I reject that as both limiting and unexciting, closing more doors than it could ever possibly open. I can make music in a duo as well as in a solo situation – because I can. Reality is whatever you make it. It’s also a very personal thing. Sometimes I just don’t bother to explain it to people, especially when I can see they’re not open to new ideas.

I find doing affirmations while I swim very empowering and invigorating – I set up a rhythm of movement that coincides with the words of my affirmation, and once I’m into it, that’s when I feel I could go on forever! When I got to 50 lengths yesterday, I was enjoying the Mind Power so much, that I just kept on swimming. Even at 60 lengths I wasn’t exhausted, but I stopped because I didn’t want to overdo it. I can tell you one thing, though – I’ll be doing 70 lengths long before my next birthday, in September. As with most things I’m striving for, all I need are time and space – I can make the magic happen.

Recently someone said to me she was reluctant to start a blog because she didn’t want people reading about her personal stuff. I respect that. For me, there’s personal and then there’s personal. I could write for hours, days, weeks, even months, and you wouldn’t necessarily know about the really personal stuff in my life. I write because I love writing. I love words. I love putting ideas down and expressing what’s inside of me. It’s fun, it’s a game, and I love it.

For example, I could tell you that today’s weather turns me on, that it’s songwriting weather and it’s lovemaking weather, but you wouldn’t know whether I’d be indulging in either of those activities, would you?