Picture: Part of my back garden.Written: Thurs. 22 Dec. 2011
Watching the movie, “Atonement”, based on the book by Ian McEwan. It’s one of the three books my son reviewed for a big English assignment this year. He said it was one of the best-written books he’d ever read, and he’s a prolific reader. I should read it sometime. They had to choose three books that shared either a genre, a writer or a theme – he choose the theme of wrongful accusation. He spent months reading, making copious notes, then typing his essay.
Interesting that, with all the junk shown on SABC Television, they’d screen an excellent movie like this one.
*************************************************************************************
Tonight, I took a drive down to the gym, and got into the pool. There were only two other people swimming, so I didn’t need to share a lane. I swam thirty lengths, steadily working my way back to my fitness level of nine months ago, when I could do sixty lengths without feeling wiped out. I have my own way of enjoying the water – I swim underwater for the first part of every length, sometimes managing to reach the halfway mark while at the bottom of the pool, my lungs on the verge of exploding….what a feeling!
I’m not a good swimmer. I always swim the same stroke, breast-stroke – I’ve swum that way since my childhood. Next year I want someone to coach me, so that I may not only swim this stroke more efficiently, but that I may also vary my strokes, adding the crawl and backstroke, neither of which I can currently do for very long. I don’t think I’ll venture anywhere near the dolphin stroke - let’s just say I’m a dreamer steeped in realism.
Meditating while I swim has become one of my favourite pastimes, and I sometimes wish my lifestyle allowed me to do so every day. For now, I try to exercise every alternate day, with swimming sometimes losing out to walking. Another fitness/fun goal I’ve been thinking about is adding cycling (stationary bike) and dancing, varying my forms of exercise to increase my overall fitness and health and to keep myself interested.
************************************************************************************
I dozed off, and now, as the clock strikes 01h00, I don’t know whether I should laugh or cry, as I missed the last five to ten minutes of the movie. I’ve seen it before, on the big screen, but that was a few years ago. Really wanted to catch the end. Beautiful classical music playing during the credits. Stirring.
*************************************************************************************
My annual dilemma is upon me once again – I feel intensely reflective, this time of year, and I crave solitude, silence and the tranquility of nature, but the traditions we observe thrust me into large gatherings of people, frustrating my soul.
So much has happened, this year, and I have so many decisions to make – quite big ones, in fact – that I really don’t feel up to the festivities of the next nine days. This is my second consecutive Christmas where my dire financial situation has made me wish I could just fast forward to beyond the holidays, and get stuck into the pressing matter at hand, namely, securing an income. If I don’t
generate sufficient money, I won’t be able to stay where I am now, and that would be a huge upheaval for my family. I’ve been living here for almost 15 years, the longest I’ve ever lived in one house.
I’ve started working on my plan to earn an income independently, but I’m so distracted by all this Christmas stuff, that I can’t reach a point of completion and conclusion. Today’s unforeseen expense of a new car tyre set me back shockingly, and right now I don’t know how I’ll get to the end of December, let alone the end of January. My guitar students who’ve said they’ll resume lessons in February have no idea of the impact of that decision. I have to run my little music school in a way that works for me – the alternative is too unstructured and too open to surprise and disappointment.
I believe that I hold within me the power to make all of this right, but I need time and space in which to effect the necessary changes. I have absolutely no doubt that I can bring into being every idea in my head – no doubt at all. A friend who’s dealing with serious illness told me she’s afraid of nothing, and I thought about how empowering that must be, and about how we allow fear to hold us back, incapacitate us ….. I don’t want to dwell in that space anymore; I want to live as boldly as my heart assures me I can.
So …… Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, blah blah blah. I’ve got other things on my mind, like survival.
My growing restlessness convinces me that 2011 will be the last year I march to the beat of any drum other than my own. It's about time!
************************************************************************************
Watching the movie, “Atonement”, based on the book by Ian McEwan. It’s one of the three books my son reviewed for a big English assignment this year. He said it was one of the best-written books he’d ever read, and he’s a prolific reader. I should read it sometime. They had to choose three books that shared either a genre, a writer or a theme – he choose the theme of wrongful accusation. He spent months reading, making copious notes, then typing his essay.
Interesting that, with all the junk shown on SABC Television, they’d screen an excellent movie like this one.
*************************************************************************************
Tonight, I took a drive down to the gym, and got into the pool. There were only two other people swimming, so I didn’t need to share a lane. I swam thirty lengths, steadily working my way back to my fitness level of nine months ago, when I could do sixty lengths without feeling wiped out. I have my own way of enjoying the water – I swim underwater for the first part of every length, sometimes managing to reach the halfway mark while at the bottom of the pool, my lungs on the verge of exploding….what a feeling!
I’m not a good swimmer. I always swim the same stroke, breast-stroke – I’ve swum that way since my childhood. Next year I want someone to coach me, so that I may not only swim this stroke more efficiently, but that I may also vary my strokes, adding the crawl and backstroke, neither of which I can currently do for very long. I don’t think I’ll venture anywhere near the dolphin stroke - let’s just say I’m a dreamer steeped in realism.
Meditating while I swim has become one of my favourite pastimes, and I sometimes wish my lifestyle allowed me to do so every day. For now, I try to exercise every alternate day, with swimming sometimes losing out to walking. Another fitness/fun goal I’ve been thinking about is adding cycling (stationary bike) and dancing, varying my forms of exercise to increase my overall fitness and health and to keep myself interested.
************************************************************************************
I dozed off, and now, as the clock strikes 01h00, I don’t know whether I should laugh or cry, as I missed the last five to ten minutes of the movie. I’ve seen it before, on the big screen, but that was a few years ago. Really wanted to catch the end. Beautiful classical music playing during the credits. Stirring.
*************************************************************************************
My annual dilemma is upon me once again – I feel intensely reflective, this time of year, and I crave solitude, silence and the tranquility of nature, but the traditions we observe thrust me into large gatherings of people, frustrating my soul.
So much has happened, this year, and I have so many decisions to make – quite big ones, in fact – that I really don’t feel up to the festivities of the next nine days. This is my second consecutive Christmas where my dire financial situation has made me wish I could just fast forward to beyond the holidays, and get stuck into the pressing matter at hand, namely, securing an income. If I don’t
generate sufficient money, I won’t be able to stay where I am now, and that would be a huge upheaval for my family. I’ve been living here for almost 15 years, the longest I’ve ever lived in one house.
I’ve started working on my plan to earn an income independently, but I’m so distracted by all this Christmas stuff, that I can’t reach a point of completion and conclusion. Today’s unforeseen expense of a new car tyre set me back shockingly, and right now I don’t know how I’ll get to the end of December, let alone the end of January. My guitar students who’ve said they’ll resume lessons in February have no idea of the impact of that decision. I have to run my little music school in a way that works for me – the alternative is too unstructured and too open to surprise and disappointment.
I believe that I hold within me the power to make all of this right, but I need time and space in which to effect the necessary changes. I have absolutely no doubt that I can bring into being every idea in my head – no doubt at all. A friend who’s dealing with serious illness told me she’s afraid of nothing, and I thought about how empowering that must be, and about how we allow fear to hold us back, incapacitate us ….. I don’t want to dwell in that space anymore; I want to live as boldly as my heart assures me I can.
So …… Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, blah blah blah. I’ve got other things on my mind, like survival.
My growing restlessness convinces me that 2011 will be the last year I march to the beat of any drum other than my own. It's about time!
************************************************************************************
No comments:
Post a Comment
You are welcome to place a comment here.