Always Rushin: Friends

Written 30 August 2016

I remember, when we were children, we always had lots of friends. As teenagers, too, no matter where we lived, friends were always around. My mother welcomed our friends, and now that I’m a parent, I understand that that was one way of keeping an eye on us, but not in a suspicious way – more like knowing who your children are hanging out with, and staying connected.

Of course, I didn’t know then that some friendships would last well into my adult life. I don’t think I realised either that one’s cousins could end up being one’s most loyal and supportive friends. I understand that this is not always so, but in my case, I’m really lucky. Somehow, I’ve always had a lot more contact with my maternal cousins. Having said as much, I feel the same love and warmth towards my paternal cousins that I do towards my maternal cousins. The truth, though, is that I share a lot more memories with my maternal cousins, most of whom we’ve lived with, at some stage of our lives. And, when you think about it, it’s the shared experiences that form those bonds.

Aside from cousins, one of my oldest friendships is with someone I met in Durban, when he and I were both six years old. We were born five days apart, and met through our parents, who were friends. He now lives in Australia, with his partner of many years. To my delight, they’re coming down to Cape Town soon, and we’re going to take our moms out for breakfast, to celebrate our birthdays. He inspires me, because he’s in a profession he loves, and he’s living his truth, travelling whenever he can, and filling his life with things that are meaningful to him. Besides being a really lovely and lovable guy, he’s also a bookworm and a word nerd.

Another very special friendship I have is with someone I met when I was 17 and she, 15. We belonged to the same performing arts group, where she was a dancer and I, an aspiring actress. Today, she is a full-time, professional actress, who seems to have become increasingly busy, as more people recognise the immense talent she’s always had. She’s amazing. Even when we lived continents apart, that bond was always there. We’re very different, yet we have so much in common. She inspires me, because she’s overcome immense odds, and come out shining like the star she is. She’s one of the most talented, naturally creative people I know. Also a bookworm, also a word nerd. Writes the most riveting poetry, and basically succeeds at whatever she attempts. Life has given her some unbelievably hard knocks, but she’s proved to be bigger and better than all the adversity. She’s truly beautiful, and I can’t imagine my life without her in it.

And then I have, amongst so many other friendships, old and new, a group of friends who are in a category of their own – my high school friends! These are people I met 41 years ago, in 1975. Life just keeps bringing us back into each other’s world! In the past two weeks, I have had lunch with two of them (separately), and coffee with a third high school friend. I am due to meet a fourth person from this special group soon. Fortunately, we now work less than a kilometre apart, so it’s not difficult to get together. She’s very bright, and was always winning the English prize at school. She’s really cool. I like her no-nonsense attitude and am in awe of how she has fed her wanderlust by travelling to many countries over many years. Also a bookworm, also a word nerd. One of the most endearing things about her is her laugh – a spontaneous, delicious and infectious sound.

In a most unexpected turn of events, I find myself working closely with someone who was my best friend at high school. It’s fascinating how life keeps looping, bringing special people back into our realms. I can only think that there are amazing things to be achieved, when these collaborations recur, especially so many years later, when one has gathered so much life experience and has reached a point of self-acceptance. Another no-nonsense person, dances to the beat of her own drum, and remains down to earth and connected to what’s important. She’s creative and a wonderful catalyst and inspiration to everyone she encounters. She's proved to be one of those exceptional people who can comfortably straddle the artistic and the business worlds Another bookworm and word nerd. :-)

Most of my high school friends were in the same class as me for the full five years. Some others weren’t, but the friendships are as strong. I am proud of all my friends. Life hasn’t been easy for some, but they have persevered and pulled through. Others have very successful careers, and live comfortable lives. But the thread that binds us together has nothing to do with material possessions – there’s something else, an unbreakable bond that defies description.

I have quite a few other very good friends, people I’ve either studied with, worked with, or collaborated with musically, and I know those friendships will last, even if we don’t see each other often. As with so many other things in life, sometimes explanation and analysis are unnecessary – you just have to accept that that is what it is, and enjoy it.

I recently met up with a primary school friend, after more than 40 years, and I was delighted to find that she was exactly the same person I’d loved so many years ago, and that our friendship was able to pick up from where it had had to pause, decades ago. And just to show how consistent the pattern is, she's also a bookworm and a word nerd. :-)

I love life. I love every new day, and I give thanks when I wake up and realise I have been given another day. I’m 54 years old, and, for as long as I can remember, I have been deeply reflective. Hence the journaling, and hence the blog. But I do know that, coexisting comfortably with my solitary, reflective nature, is my wonderful treasure trove of friends, the golden thread running through the tapestry of my life. I hope they all know how much fuller and more filled with magic my life is because of them, and that a significant part of who I am, and who I like being, comes from knowing them.

And just in case you haven't realised it, I mean the term "word nerd" in the nicest possible way.

Peace