Life seems to move faster, as one gets older. Too fast for me to document it. Why do I feel the need to document it? I have no idea. I just do. And what if no-one ever reads it? That's okay. This is the more public side of my writing. My private writing sustains me. It's a personal thing. Writing is how I make my way through life. I recently had an idea about doing something with some of my writing, but I'll reveal that plan at a later stage.
It's the first weekend after the first week of the fourth school term. The break was short - just 12 days - but much-needed and, to a certain extent, restorative. I managed to go out for lunch with different friends, as well as with my sister and a few cousins. In Cape Town, when it comes to restaurants that suit different pockets and palates, we are really spoilt for choice.
Early in the holiday, I drove 186km to the small town of McGregor, where I sang at the delightful Tebaldi's Restaurant. This was my second time singing there, the first having been in the March school holidays. I stayed overnight at The Bean Tree accommodation, which was - once again - super comfy and a lovely treat.
The next day, I had breakfast with my friend who lives in the town, after which she drove me around the non-touristy area. I may as well have been back in apartheid-era South Africa. Sometimes it's hard to see what's actually changed.
Like most of South Africa, but less visibly so in the middle class residential areas of a metropolis like Cape Town, there's a huge and distinct gap between the haves and the have-nots. The local school attended by the "people of colour" goes only as far as Grade 8. Any child wanting to complete high school has to travel 35km to the next town, Robertson. For most families, that's unaffordable. It broke my heart. I don't understand why, in the 32 years of democracy, with all the expertise around, this situation hasn't been remedied. The children I teach, aged roughly 13- 18, regularly talk about their rights, like the empowered, post-apartheid teens we hoped they'd be, but those teens in McGregor may as well be living on a different planet. The moneyed residents in the town send their children to the local, well-resourced Waldorf school.
As someone who spent the first 32 years of my life oppressed by the apartheid government, I have a strong sensitivity to injustice, which filters everything I experience, wherever I go.
It seems to me that there's a certain level of convenience in having a ready supply of desperate, uneducated people living a few roads away. Why isn't the South African government doing more to address these disparities? Yes, they definitely exist within the metropolis, as well, but they seem a lot more pronounced in the far-flung rural towns. Almost like our country's dirty little secret. Those towns need progressive leadership who will steadily introduce changes that promote the empowerment of the poor and the integration of the residents, so that it's ONE town, and not two. Imagine if every resident had access to the benefits of the tourist trade in the town - as entrepreneurs and small business owners, and not just as waiters. I'm sure many visitors would be interested in seeing not just white South Africans and European expats running things in small towns. I worked with foreigners in the TEFL industry for ten years, and I know what I'm talking about. If you read about the population diversity in our country, you choose to come here to experience it, but all you see are white people, many from your side of the world - surely that's a disappointing experience?
Anyhow..... I am, and always will be, an idealist. I think that there are many gaps waiting to be filled, opportunities waiting to be taken up, projects waiting to be started, throughout our country, to move it in the right direction.
I was also taken on a walk through the Silent Garden, on the premises of the Temenos Retreat. I'll write about that in a separate post.
During the holidays, I had to have my car's thermostat replaced. It was outside of my budget, but fortunately I could allocate some of my McGregor gig fee to it. I was immensely grateful that the overheating hadn't happened on the long road. That would've been an entirely different experience.
I also managed to achieve a long-procrastinated task, this holiday - dropping off Mom's sheet music at the home of one of her dearest friends who's still actively singing. It freed up space in my mind and in my little home. And it made Mom's friend happy.
On the last day of my holiday, I had the opportunity to perform live music again. This time, it was with one of my long-term duo partners, Keith Tabisher. We played a few songs at a WCED event - the tenth annual Life Orientation Teachers' Awards. Keith and I had not played together in at least a year - possibly two? - so it was lovely!! There's something about this time of the year, our spring season, that lends itself to live music. I can't wait to do a whole lot more.
I'm trying to introduce small things into my daily life that make me feel less alienated from my essential self. When you work in a highly bureaucratic and structured field, you spend a lot of time adhering to rules, or being reminded that doing X or Y makes you non-compliant. In my essence, I'm creative, colourful, spontaneous, outspoken, chatty, curious, and interested in spotting problems and working towards solving them, for the benefit of everyone. But schools are highly competitive spaces. I am not competitive at all. So I find myself feeling like a square peg in a round hole a lot of the time. I've written about this over the years, so it's not a school-specific phenomenon - it's a societal one. I'm wired differently to the way our society operates. Systemically, people are encouraged to succeed at all costs, with a very narrow definition of success. Sadly, schools, as perfect little government minions, endorse and perpetuate this. It's evident across many aspects of teaching, and I find it rather uninspiring and even depressing.
For now, though, my focus has to remain on my job commitments. Our matric students are no longer on the campus, so I teach 6 classes instead of 8. Phew! We teach for another 3 weeks, then we have local government elections which interrupt one school week, after which we're into our final exams. And then, my least favourite school task: marking! Personally, I think our education system is too assessment-heavy, but I am a very small cog in a very big system of wheels, and my views will not make any difference. One day, when someone dynamic, with the right academic credentials, becomes head of education in our country, and says the same thing, maybe then it will all change. For now, we all just tick those required boxes, and hopefully inspire some of the kids we teach.
As I get ready to tackle my weekend To-Do lists, I'm powerfully aware that I have a lot for which to be grateful. I'm in good health, I have a loving and supportive circle of family and friends, I have a job that enables me to afford life, a roof over my head that meets my needs, and a car that affords me the independence I cherish so much. More than that, I can still enjoy things like playing my guitar and singing, crafting, writing, reading, and walking. In the three years I've been in my current job, I've made a few new friendships that are solid and grounding. And that is a whole lot more than many people my age in South Africa have. Thank you, Universe.
In closing, I am immensely proud that a South African woman, who has fought injustice throughout her life, has just been awarded the Nobel Peace Prize for 2026. Congratulations, Ms Navi Pillay!
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