Working the networks

Written Tues 17/11/09



Picture: Renae Barker and I, Sat. 14/11/09, at her Charity Tea (ingenious fundraiser for three charities, held at her home!)





Watching the last episode of one of the seasons of Lipstick Jungle. What is it about the show I like so much? I think it’s the fact that the three central characters are empowered career women and that, just like the rest of us, their private lives don’t always echo the symmetry and clarity of their professional lives. I also really like stories about strong friendships. And yes, I’m a sucker for a good love story! Can’t deny that!

My love-hate relationship with Facebook continues. The jury’s still not out as to how much longer I’ll stay on it, but a few things have happened that have made me see the value of this social networking system: I made contact with a high school friend, after 30 years, I heard from an ex-student from Russia, one from Japan and two from Switzerland, a writer friend whose work I love, and made an interesting connection with a musician I’ve admired for a long time.

As strange as it may seem, since I love blogging so much, I’m actually quite a private person, so the part of Facebook I like is the message writing between people, which happens privately. I really don’t care about all the frivolous stuff people write about all the time - and I actually don’t quite understand why some people have to say absolutely everything about everything – but I like the networking aspect. Basically, having been raised in apartheid South Africa, where I had so few choices, until the age of 32, when we gained political freedom, I prize very highly my right to choose, my right to set boundaries, and my right to do what feels right to me, without having to justify it to the world.

One of the off-putting things about Facebook (and here I know I need to learn how to install certain facilities) is the fact that I get to view all the little bits of mindless chitchat between my “friends” and their “friends”. When I realised that this sometimes entailed my being involuntarily exposed to gratuitous profanity and vulgarity, I wanted to ‘un-join’ immediately. And then I got six really interesting messages from people I’m so happy to have connected with, and I thought, “You know, there’s definitely something about this technology that I like - a lot!”

To be honest, this ambivalence is more about me and my pattern of behaviour when faced with change, than about anything else. But that’s another story!

Today was a day I wouldn’t want to repeat in a hurry, and yet it was a very good day, in many respects. It was filled with a variety of things that I’m sure many people don’t get to experience in a month! Bottom line – I love my job, and I’m happy working where I do. I put a lot of energy into whatever I do, and my day job is no exception. Tomorrow night I accompany, along with a group of other South Africans in the language teaching industry, a group of Italian agents and journalists to supper at an authentic African restaurant. I love the place – the décor is pretty and indigenous, the food’s unusual and exciting, from all over Africa, and a highlight for me, is that I get my face painted in African style, during the evening. The cherry on top of all of that, though, is that, towards the end of the evening, the waitresses sing. I don’t even want to describe what that feels like. I am profoundly moved and affected by that kind of singing, and I feel my skin tingling with excitement. Even though I always say I strongly suspect my roots lie on some island, or some Latin country, I am undeniably African, and my heart soars with pride when I hear those strong voices blending, rich in harmony, and I feel the sensations inside my own body when I watch them swaying rhythmically as they sing.

But the part of my life that ensures everything balances out nicely is the time I spend alone, journalling, blogging, practising my music. Earlier, I spent some time playing scales on my guitar. Tonight I won’t sing, because I wanted to blog, but I’ll have to start doing serious practising for my concert on 6 December, at Baran’s. I’ve already taken orders for 41 tickets, and that’s just from my own friendship circle (real friends, not FBFs) – I want to sell 100, which means I need to get 59 people from my broader circle and the public. Have to step up the marketing.

I think I’ve found someone to do the official photography on the night, and I might actually have the show recorded! Lots to put in place before then. I’ve always liked the idea of a live recording, and maybe this time it will all come together.

In conclusion, I want to talk about an excellent way in which I saw a network being used, over the weekend: I sang at a beautiful house where the owner,a really lovely woman, Renae Barker, had arranged a Charity Tea fundraising afternoon. She’d got a lot of women to buy tickets, treated them to delicious refreshments and live music (moi!), handed out great prizes (generous donations), and made some money, which she donated to three charities. One was Ons Plek, a shelter for homeless/abused girls, another was Building Blocks, a house where babies waiting for foster/adoptive parents are looked after, and the third was a new home-church in Lavender Hill. I admire the organizer and her team who did the tables, and I also applaud all the ladies who came to support. I was moved and inspired, and it was a privilege to do my bit for those organizations.

I am so tired, I shouldn’t bath – I should just shower! If I were to do my usual soak in the bath, I’d probably wake up in it tomorrow!

Tomorrow’s Wednesday, the day I have my guitar lesson. Another reason to smile.

Right now, my daily fantasy of getting to bed before midnight seems to be fading. 23h20. Can still make it.