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Yesterday I went down to the internet café, after about a week, and found an inspirational (“Thought for the day”) e-mail from my best friend. The piece dealt, quite poetically, with the issue of hard times, the writer concluding by saying that, no matter what she’s going through, the one thing she promises herself is that, every single day, she will write.

In the same uncanny way the odd horoscope seems to tap into our circumstances directly, this piece felt like it was meant for me.

La Vem a Baiana, a samba sung by Jussara Silveira, playing on my laptop now – such a cool song! :-)

Back to the point - things have been really tough for me, financially, and I’ve come face to face with some of the difficulties many people in our country have to live with all the time. Some of the decisions I have to make, make me laugh at the irony and ridiculousness of it all, because I have to choose between equally important expenses, in order to make the money stretch. One of the main lessons this time of my life is reinforcing in me is to take an interest in people around me and to lend a hand where I can, because everywhere around us, people are in need. Even the regular “beggars” at my door know that, when I have, I give.

But here’s the point: at the end of every day, I write. With a pen. In a book. Old-school, as they say. I write whatever needs to come out. Sometimes I record the day’s events in point form, because I’m tired or don’t feel like writing a lot, but most of the time I write more reflectively, introspectively, exploring below-the-surface issues. I also write descriptively, and sometimes when I take my old journals out and read my entries, the descriptions take me right back to the events and I laugh at some of the strange things I’ve experienced over the years!

Writing has been my way of getting through all the difficult times of my life. I write because nothing else gives me the release that writing does. If I were to lose the use of my hands, I’d find some other way to put words down on paper or on a keyboard. Writing is such an intense part of my life, it’s far more intimate than a lover.

Much like my songwriting, my journalling is a form of narration, but also catharsis, with the former merely written more artistically.

Yesterday I listened to a recorded interview of John Cleese, British actor and comedian (star of, amongst others, Fawlty Towers, Monty Python and more recently, the movie, Spud) by Cape Talk Radio presenter, John Maythem. The most interesting thing Cleese said, in my opinion, was that the creative process was a spontaneous, emotional thing. He said we’re encouraged to be logical, to follow the rules, and that men, especially, found this a constant pressure in their lives, while women seemed to find it easier to be less logical and more emotional/spontaneous, and therefore were often more in touch with their creativity. This was in response to a question about how he and his fellow scriptwriters had come up with a particular skit. He started by saying that there were no rules or formulae, and that the creation of anything worked a lot more spontaneously, more randomly, starting with a spark of inspiration which could come from anywhere. As a songwriter who’s written about topics as diverse as love, divorce, abortion, friendship, infatuation and libido, I could most definitely relate to what he was saying!

This morning I got an sms from a friend who’d been on my mind a lot recently, and I was so excited, but also frustrated because I didn’t have airtime to reply. I felt myself veering towards brooding about what I didn’t have, so I willed myself in the opposite direction, focusing on what I did have: I decided that, as the one thing I had loads of was TIME, I should do something with my time that would put my feelings out into the universe. I put on about 45 minutes of my favourite music and danced, danced, danced! I danced to celebrate the beauty of friendship, the new day and LIFE, with all the potential it held for each one of us. Afterwards, I had a shower and put on a bright yellow T-shirt, because that’s how I’m feeling.

I’m a typical Capetonian – when the sun shines, I put on a T-shirt, and when it rains, I put on a pot of soup!

Listening to Melanie Scholtz’s album, “Connected”. Velvet voice, clever lyrics, great band (The Love Apples).

I’m often struck by how extremely disparate the different aspects of one’s life can be: yesterday, amidst all my unemployment-related difficulties, I used my last airtime to send an sms in response to a radio competition, and to my surprise (but not entirely, because I’d felt the success and experienced the future phone call when I sent off the sms – this is something that’s hard to explain, but I’ve always had it), I was one of the winners. Yay! I won two tickets to tonight’s premiere of the movie, The Bang Bang Club, courtesy of Cape Talk Radio. It’s in Brackenfell, and right now I have NO idea how to get there, but between now and then, I’ll have sorted out all the niggly details. Don’t you just love winning things?! I saw some footage from the movie on last night’s documentary tv programme, “3rd Degree”, and I now know what it’s about. I also know that it’s not easy viewing, definitely not escapist theatre, and that I’m probably going to be closing my eyes - and sometimes my ears - when it gets too hectic, but in the end, I will have had an experience that will have impacted on me in some way. Let’s face it, if the recent Pirates of the Caribbean could have impacted on me, then there’s no doubt that The Bang Bang Club will! :-)

Listening to Michel Petrucciani’s Live in Tokyo album. His composition, “Home”, is one of the most moving pieces of music I have in my entire (not huge) CD collection. Played superbly by himself on piano, Anthony Jackson on bass and Steve Gadd on drums, this hauntingly beautiful piece starts off with a single line melody on piano, played loosely, then grows into the trio doing a laid-back bossa, and moves into a swing, with lots of vibrant energy, completely different to the mellow beginning. At the end of the piece, they revert to the lead melody in a gentle bossa, with a splendid flourish of an ending, followed by the final notes on the high end of the piano. Stunning!

Time to go! So much has happened since I started writing. The rest of the day awaits!