Reflecting on 2012

                                                                                                                              Dec. 2012 

It doesn’t seem that long ago that I sat typing my blog post, “Reflecting on 2011”. The year 2012 has taken so many twists and turns, that the biggest lessons for me have been to keep an open mind, not to take anything for granted, and to appreciate what I have when I have it.

This was a year in which my mom lost her independence, as a result of memory loss (she has Amnestic Syndrome), and had to change her living arrangements. This meant a move from a flatlet at my house to a room in my sister’s house. The changes in my mom’s life affected us all and played a huge role in our experience of the year. To my mom’s credit, all her years of taking good care of herself, eating healthily, being physically active, doing yoga stretches, following her passion (music) and having a positive attitude, have resulted in her being in great physical condition; at the ripe old age of 82, she has no lifestyle-related conditions, like high blood pressure, heart problems or diabetes.

For me, 2012 was also a year in which my employment situation was unstable, causing a host of related complications.

But, let me start.

1^st quarter, January – March

1. Didn’t have a New Year’s Eve gig – stayed home. Stayed up late, journalling.
2. 01/01/12: wrote a ballad entitled, “When I Sing My Song”
3. 05/01, sat on the beach for hours with a dear friend visiting her hometown from abroad.
4. Started the year with no job, except guitar lessons.
5. Daughter started high school, son entered Grade 11.
6. 26/01, concert with Keith Tabisher, at iBuyambo, exciting new Cape Town performance and exhibition space.
7. 27/01, solo set at premises of The Taxi, new online radio station.
8. +- 16/02, one of my mom’s opera contemporaries, soprano Pat Van Graan, passed away in London.
9. 30/01, got another substitute lecturing post at College of Cape Town, where I worked till 23 March.
10. 08/03, sang at Bernedette Muthien’s book launch; poetry collection called “ova”. Event at iBuyambo. I’d put music to one of her poems, called “Dream”.
11. 24/03, we noticed some marked changes in my mom, and this was the start of a period of exploration, with various medical people, of what had happened and what we could do.
12.  30 and 31 March, Cape Town International Jazz Festival – attended, didn’t perform! (Lest there be any confusion.)

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2^nd quarter, April – June

1. 01/04, Cousins’ Gathering.
2. 07/04, spent a few hours with a very special friend who’d been living abroad since 1997.
3. 19/04, sang at iBuyambo – 1 solo set, 1 duo set with Keith Tabisher.
4. Late April, started tutoring some of my ex-students at College of Cape Town, helping them prepare for their exams.
5. 03/05, a FIRST: my children performed as a duo at their school’s “Music Café”.
6. 06/05, another Family Gathering, on the occasion of my mom’s 82^nd birthday.
7. 09/05, Mom’s 1^st appointment at the Memory Clinic at Groote Schuur Hospital.
8. Mid-May, wrote a song, “The Land of No Smiles”.
9. 20/05: iBuyambo burnt down! Thankfully no-one was injured or killed!
10. 26 & 27/05, sang at The Good Food & Wine Show, as part of the Pink Drive (Cancer screening and awareness organisation.)
11. Sometime in June, picked up contract work, +- 3 hours a week, tutoring a foreigner.
12. Continued teaching guitar lessons.

This was a stressful time for me, as we attended to my mom’s changing needs. I was unemployed for this entire period, earning from guitar lessons and wherever I could pick up odd bits of work. During this time, I went back to doing Mind Power exercises, determined to keep believing that I would eventually get through this rough patch in my life.

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3^rd quarter, July – September

1. Early July, my landlord had a gardener denude the garden, pulling out my plants (incl my lavender!) and pruning the trees in such a radical way, that it changed the whole look and feel of the place. I mourned the loss of the magical garden like it was a death. I had never felt less welcome anywhere.  

2. After a donor offered to fund the project, I went into the studio with guitarist Wayne Bosch on 12/07 and recorded four of my songs. (Project to be taken further towards end of Dec.)

3. 14/07, sang at a People Living With Cancer event, at Crystal Towers Hotel.

4. In mid-July, having hit an all-time low, but desperate to survive, I sent an e-mail to my closest friends, asking for help – the response was both overwhelming and humbling. I sent a second, less personal e-mail to my broader circle, asking them to assist me by forwarding my CV and spreading the word that I was looking for work. Again, the response reminded me that help was just an “ask” away. 

5. Late July, was offered part-time office work at a friend’s company. On my 2^nd day there, I was called to two interviews the following week!

6. 30/07, went for 2 job interviews. Got accepted for one on 31 July, and for the other on 1 August.

7. 1 August was the start of my 5-month contract, teaching English at a high school in the southern suburbs. Everything changed for my little family, once I regained the security of a decent monthly income. I promised myself that I would do everything in my power to stay employed - the alternative was just too dreadful.

8. 31/08, sang at a Cape Cultural Collective event.

9. 06/09, sang at the launch of Charlene Maslamoney’s book, “I’m Not Done Yet”

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4^th quarter: October – December

1. Decided that I wanted to have secured a job from January 2013 by the time my current contract ended, so I set about seriously looking for work.
2. 05/10, applied for two English-related lecturing posts at College of Cape Town.
3. 07/10, wrote a song, eventually entitled, “Power Source”
4. 13/10, sang at Inez Woods’ networking breakfast at Barrister’s, in Newlands.
5. 14/10, sang with Keith Tabisher at a joint concert with band, Jahm, at Baran’s Kurdish Restaurant.
6. 16 & 17/10, sang my latest song at two schools’ matric farewell evenings.
7. 21/10, drew up detailed Mind Power programme, to keep consciously directing my life along my chosen path.
8. 04/11, Cousins’ Gathering, Wynberg Park - a beautiful, memorable day.
9. 05/11, job interview at College of Cape Town.
10. Had new business cards and small posters made. Marketing, marketing, marketing…..
11. Had my guitar worked on: machine heads replaced and some other alterations.
12. 24 & 25/11, sang at the Cape Town Wedding Festival, on Rustenberg Wine Farm in Stellenbosch, one day with Keith Tabisher and one with Wayne Bosch; got booked to sing at two weddings, as a result of the festival. J
13. 27/11: College of Cape Town called to say I’d been successful: would start a 6-month contract in January 2013.
14. 01/12, sang at a book launch at District Six Museum: Memory Keepers, by Keith Adams.
15. 11/12, my final day at Wynberg High School, where I’d been since 1 August. Sad to be saying goodbye to cool colleagues (the children had left on 7^th), but happy about 2013’s new beginnings.
16. 11/12, the guitar students I teach at a local church had an end-of-year concert for their parents. 
17. Started painting our bedrooms – first time since we moved into the house, 16 years ago!
18. Sang at two seniors’ Xmas lunches.
19. 21/12, sang at an outdoor wedding, at Groot Constantia (wine estate), with Wayne Bosch.
20. 25/12, did a Christmas lunch gig at the Table Bay Hotel, in the V & A Waterfront, with guitarist Rudi Burns and bassist Donald Gain.
21. 31/12, stayed home with my children. Watched the sun set on the old year, took lots of photos. Couldn’t stay awake with the kids to watch it rise on the new year. 

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Some thoughts on 2013

Having experienced what I have in 2012, I definitely feel a shift in my consciousness and my approach to life. I can honestly say I’ve learnt some of my most important lessons ever, in 2012.

What do I know, without a doubt? I know that I have found peace with my dual role as a musician and an educator, and that I can live a fulfilled life doing both with a happy heart.  

I also know that my children deserve the best I can give them, and that includes seeing their mother happy and thriving.

I’ve come full circle, after having done the Mind Power course with Robin Banks in August 2003, and am 100% back on the programme, because it works for me. I will continue to live my life in a goal-directed way, planning and working towards fulfilling my dreams. For the rest, the parts of life that are unpredictable, I have to know and stick to my value system, and exercise the flexibility and discretion that life requires of me.

And lastly, I’m convinced that everything is energy.

And so I end this year – ready for what 2013 has in store for me. J

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