No more pedestals

Over the years, I have been disappointed by people - acquaintances, colleagues, friends, lovers and even family members. I've finally figured out what I need to do differently, and it's just another aspect of self-preservation. 

I have a  tendency to put people on pedestals - I see only their good points, their strengths, their achievements, how nice they seem, how funny they are, and many other characteristics that I admire. Even when people caution me against individuals they've had bad experiences with, I go ahead and do my own thing - occasionally with disastrous effects.  

But the older I get, the more I realise ...well....just how ordinary most people are, and that the pedestals I've been putting them on are undeserved. But it's not their fault - I'm the one who put them there. 

So, after the umpteenth disappointment by someone I'd looked up to and respected, I've decided that I'm not putting people on pedestals anymore. I will regard everyone I meet as ordinary and capable of disappointing me, and I'll take it from there.

Another thing I'm really tired of is the celebrity culture we have, here in Cape Town (and I suppose all over the world). In Afrikaans, the word "verskrik" best describes that kind of hero-worship. I'm often shocked to see how people who should know better,  fall into that trap. So if you're an honest, decent person, who operates in a principled way, you're reliable, a person of your word and  consistently respectful towards others, that can actually count for very little, in certain circles; but if you're well-known, well, THEN you're worth something. What is it about celebrity-verskrik people, anyway? Aspiring to celebrity status themselves and believing that they might achieve it by association? Hilarious. And sad.  

So back to the pedestal matter - there are local celebrities I also put on pedestals, until they showed me how little regard they had for others, how bigoted and self-aggrandising  they were, and how all you're good for is to give them access to your networks (which you've spent decades building).   

So fuck all of that! I haven't aspired to toeing the mainstream line for many years, and I don't intend to do so now. 

So - no more putting of people on pedestals. 

The people of substance in my life, whom I deeply admire and for whom I'd go out of my way, are so comfortable with who they are, so busy doing what they're passionate about and pursuing their goals, living their truths,  exploring deeper issues, trying to make the world a better place, that they don't constantly seek external approval or validation. 

Or pedestals.  

                    I find solace in nature. Sunset in Camps Bay - Fri 8 Feb 2019.