The past day has pulled me right out of the peaceful space I try so hard, on a daily basis, to inhabit.
Despite the flowery words of our President in his latest State of the Nation Address (SONA), loadshedding not only continued, but was ramped up significantly the very next day! Yesterday, our area had loadshedding from 2pm, which meant we could reasonably expect to be using electricity again at about 4pm. But 4pm came, 4:40pm came, 5pm came, and still no electricity. Accustomed to having NO faith in the powers that be, I deduced that the period had been extended to 4 hours. However, at about 6:20pm, I noticed that the street lights were on, so I called a neighbour to ask if she knew why our house lights were still off. It turned out, it was just my house - everyone else in the street had had their electricity back on since 4pm!
I elicited the help of two other neighbours, and eventually reported the breakdown to the municipality. They logged my call, sent me a reference number, then confirmed that it had been assigned to a work team, and that it would be attended to within 24 hours. They indicated that the team might come out at night, too. Of course, I hoped they would, but they didn't. With my freezer contents safely in one neighbour's freezer and a lamp borrowed from another, I got through the night. Very ill at ease, I might add. This is South Africa - one house in total darkness can make you a target.
By this morning, I knew I wasn't going to make it to school - my first day absent since starting there in August last year - so I let the principal and my two HODs know. It wasn't exactly a morning of rest or productivity, because I had no electricity and I had to keep an eye out for the repair team. Eventually - just after I'd washed my body and hair in cold water - they called me to say they were outside. The house numbers in our road are a bit zigzaggy, so I popped my head outside to show them where my house actually was. Ten minutes later they left, having reset a switch in the electricity box in the street, which had tripped. That was just before midday.
Needless to say, being forced out your comfort zone like that makes you reflect on what it is you need for your daily survival. In some parts of my life, I stopped setting lofty goals, because life just kept knocking the wind out of my sails. Instead, I save that dreamer part of myself for my creative endeavours, and strive for a baseline of comfort in the rest of my life. That's how much I've changed. Yes, it's awesome to have nice things, to eat out, to buy new clothes, go to live shows, etc. but when you can't, you simply can't. That's a long story - a combination of choices I made, in my quest to rid myself of abusive people, and the trials that life sends us, in one form or another.
On a lighter note, I'm preparing for a duo gig at a 5-star hotel. It's far - about one and a half hours away - but it's something I've chosen to say Yes to. I'm working with guitarist Rudy Burns, almost 2 years since we last gigged together. We've had one rehearsal so far and have scheduled our second one. I look forward to the adventure of it all. The music's the easy part. Wish I could stay over, and drive back the next day.
In true Virgo fashion, I have a written record of my music life since returning to performing, in March 2003. Yes - 21 years now! I was looking at the post-lockdown years, today: I did 29 gigs in 2022, and 17 in 2023. The cool thing is that, of the 17 in 2023, 15 were solo performances. That was a huge and intentional change in my life. No regrets. I'm still learning.
You know, if you don't shake things up, in different parts of your life, you stagnate. You don't grow. For those by the means, it's travelling to different countries and experiencing different cultures. For others, it's seeing as many live shows as possible. And for others, it's learning a new skill, or starting a new form of exercise. Wherever I have the freedom to do so, and when I stop getting in my own way, I set goals that take me in a new direction. Even if everything about me looks the same to the onlooker, I know that I'm breaking new ground, and that I'm adding chapters to my story.
In a phone chat with my son, yesterday, I spoke about my solo sessions in the past tense, and he was alarmed, because he thought I meant I'd put them behind me. What I was actually doing was referring to the ones I'd already done, and how doing them had helped me stretch, as a self-managing musician.
I've posted a few pics taken at some of my 2023 gigs throughout this article. Happy memories indeed. When my energy finally settles (new job), I will return to my solo sessions, armed with a few new songs, as well as the life experience gained since my last one (Aug 23).
Sometimes, life needs you to put off what makes your soul sing for what pays the bills. Elizabeth Gilbert has a rather crude way of describing the jobs we do outside of our art forms. I won't write it here. I'm a teacher, after all. Heehee!
Live your truth.
Peace
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