Saturday, 23 April 2011
A backing band called “Shhhhh!”
Picture: My best friend, Tracy, and I spent a morning browsing around in Kalk Bay's magical little shops, and ended up having lunch at Cape to Cuba. This was how close we were to the railway tracks! What a rush!
Blog post 2 – Fri 15_04_11
Second blog post in one day – some serious blogging going on! It was all supposed to have been one blog post, but this topic needed to be physically separated from what gushed out as the first article. Blogging is a bit like songwriting, for me – I never know when the mood will hit me, and I don’t always know what’s going to come out, because there’s always so much in my head.
Well, here goes:
My music life has taken a new direction, recently, with the addition of two weekly gigs, bringing my current total to three, the most I’ve had in years, simply because I wasn’t hungry enough for it and I wasn’t looking seriously. That was while I worked in a mainstream job with a safe, predictable monthly income and all the benefits that go with it, and music was my “hobby”. Now music is one of the two main directions I’m investing myself in, as income-generating activities – the other is, broadly, the English language. In the music part of my life, I do live gigs and teach guitar lessons – I now have 8 students. In the English Language part of my life, I’ve been doing some editing work, and have found that not only do I enjoy it, but it’s one of the easiest things for me to do. Imagine having TWO things you love intensely, both of which have the potential to generate an income. “But that’s not all” - as they say in the infomercials – managing myself in both these areas means I get to be in control of my time and my life. In reality, I’ve become my own boss, and this is just the tip of the iceberg. The more I flex myself and reap the rewards, the more I realize what’s possible. Every week, sometimes for a few consecutive days in one week, new opportunities open up, people approach me to do projects, to do short contracts, and to use my expertise in some way – it’s so cool! And do you know why this is happening? Because I believed it was possible. Not only that, I opened myself to the guidance of a life coach (Inez Woods – Google her!), and working with her has revolutionized my entire life. I’d highly recommend her to anyone.
It’s not always easy, and there are times when payments for work done are delayed, and there’s a domino effect on payments I have to make – that kind of thing stresses me as I strive to regain my independence and not have to borrow from anyone. I must say this, however: learning to ask for help when you’re down and out is a very important life lesson; if you know that it’s quite ok to ask for help, you’ll never be someone for whom life has no future, for whom suicide is an option. Pride sucks – get rid of it, keep records of loans made, and be responsible about repayments. What the experience of leaning on someone does is, it raises your sensitivity and compassion towards others when their time of need arises. You will understand fully, when approached by a needy friend, exactly how hard it was to pluck up the courage to ask for that loan, and how desperate the person must be to get to that stage. Watch out, though, for habitual borrowers who have a poor track record of repaying. Some people know how to make you feel guilty when you ask for your own money back!
But, back to the topic I actually want to tell you about – last night’s gig! Firstly, let me tell you what the three weekly gigs are:
1. Duo gig with Wayne Bosch: Wednesday nights at Myoga Restaurant, in the Vineyard Hotel, Newlands, Cape Town. We play two sets during dinner, from 8 to 10pm. Lovely 5-star venue, characterful old building, the most amazing staff I have ever encountered and the food is so scrumptious, I want to move in!!! We’ve done three nights there so far.
2. On Thursday nights, I do a solo gig at Don Pedro’s, in Woodstock, Cape Town, also two sets, starting at 8:30pm. I’ve been there for 8 weeks, and it’s quite a highlight of my week, for reasons that might take you by surprise. (More about that later!) An old, established hangout for political activists and arty types (!), this venue is regaining its popularity under new ownership. Could have a bright future.
3. On Sunday we started a new gig, at an Italian restaurant in Cavendish Connect, in Claremont, Cape Town, called Doppio Zero. This I do with Wayne, and we play three sets from 7 – 10pm. Lovely ambience, nice buzz, and I really like the way the restaurant spills out onto the public walkway, with tables under the trees. Charming! The manager is Bulgarian, a lovely woman with a warm and funny character, and she made us feel welcome from the word go.
I have 7 minutes before I’m supposed to get up and hang the laundry, shower, get dressed and fetch my son at school to go to the physio.
So, pushing past my self-imposed time limit, here goes again:
Why do I love my gig at Don Pedro’s? Ok, let me tell you about last night, which was easily the funniest experience I’ve had at a gig in ages! As usual, the first set passed fairly uneventfully; I was quite tired and I remember looking at my watch and thinking, the set must be about done, when I saw I was only 15 minutes into it, and there were another 30 minutes left! Doing a solo gig is hard work, especially when the night before you’ve had the thrill and luxury of being accompanied by a wonderful guitarist.
But, I digress!
Somewhere in the evening, round about the end of that set or during the break, a group of people pitched up, having come from a live poetry event. I knew most of them, knew them as writers and poets, and knew that they normally enjoyed my originals, so I made a mental note to do more of my own songs in the second set.
When the second set got under way, one of the women in the audience was so interested in the songs I’d written, and so intent on catching every word, that she kept telling the other patrons to keep quiet, with interventions ranging from ”Shhhhhh!” to the kind of colourful language that you probably won’t read on my blog. Ever. It was so funny! At times I couldn’t even sing, I had to laugh out loud, because the others in the audience weren’t always obliging, choosing instead to engage in playful banter with her, which produced more colourful outbursts, at an even greater volume. At one time, I felt like putting my guitar down, so that I could roll on the stage with laughter!!!! So funny!
But that’s not all!!!! When I sang covers that she knew, she sang out loud with me, and sometimes harmonized – I must say, though, she could really sing!!!! I do a version of a Beatles song, “Do you want to know a secret?”, where I pull the arrangement into a lazy swing with jazz chords, and I love singing it MY way. Last night, however, any attempt at rendering my own version fell by the wayside, as my vociferous friend belted out her own version along with me.
In the end, it was just good fun, and everyone saw the funniness of it all.
Later on, when another friend arrived, someone told him I’d sung my second set with a backing band – oh, the singing lady had also played “drums” on the table, keeping the beat quite powerfully with her flat hands, as one would play a djembe - and that the band’s name was “Shhhhhh!”.
To all my old friends who regularly pitch up at Don Pedro’s to listen to me and enjoy the food and the wonderful Bohemian vibe of the place, as well as to the new friends I’ve made there, and especially to the lady who sang so passionately last night, immersing herself in the music – I believe her name was Maude? - thank you for your warmth and love, and for making my weekly gigs there such a pleasure.
I really do lead an interesting life. Maybe I’ll write a book about it one day.
But for now, it’s all going to come out in little – or not so little! - blog posts. Sometimes even two on one day!
(Big thanks to Zeni and Suli, who gave me CDs last night, to add to my female vocalist listening library – oh my goodness - my head and heart are filled with new music today, utter soul food! Deep sigh of contentment…..)
Standard Deviation
Picture: My daughter and I had lunch at The Brass Bell (in Kalk Bay), sometime this month, and this was the view right next to where I sat. I feel incredibly alive when I'm this close to the ocean.
Friday morning, 09:45, 15 April 2011
Slouching in my bed, laptop on my knees, four pillows behind my back, determined to laze my way into this day, after what feels like at least two weeks of running around like a headless chicken.
It’s funny how we can go through life believing that A is A, B is B, etc. and that everything we’ve ever “known” is fact, truth, the way it is, the way it’s supposed to be, and the way it always will be. And then we grow up, and things start to look very different. Sometimes we gain new insights through the natural processs of maturing from childhood to adulthood, and sometimes we find ourselves, at different ages and stages of our lives, learning such huge lessons, that we start to realize that much of what we accepted as fact, as unalterable truth, was just perception, or often, misperception.
I am learning, anew, how, when I live consciously, when I strive to live authentically, and not just as a carbon copy of everyone around me – particularly in my family of origin – there are layers and layers of things I need to unlearn, as part of the journey towards discovering and uncovering, setting free the person I truly am. Setting oneself apart and choosing a career, a lifestyle, a path that is different, that doesn’t appear on the list of family-approved options, is not the easiest route to take. In fact, if you’re not ready to be unpopular and risk annoying or offending your close people, I don’t recommend it. Families have their own precious ways of showing their disapproval of behaviour that deviates more than a certain degree from the standard. Interesting how these same people would fiercely allege that they support independent thinking and innovation, initiative.
What I also find interesting is how important it seems to be for people to be able to say, “My daughter/son/sister/brother is a teacher/doctor/lawyer (pick one from the approved list)”, and how much personal investment there is in that kind of statement, as though the speaker is sewing on a Girl Guide badge of achievement for having a family member that’s turned out “right”.
Life is full of ironies. I am not as sorry for disappointing my family of origin as I am happy and excited about the choices I’m exercising and the amazing lessons and gifts I’m able to pass on to my new family, my two beautiful children, now aged 12 and 16. What better legacy could I leave them than the lesson that they have the power and freedom to be whatever they want to be in life, and that I’d be okay with their choices as long as they’re living authentic, fulfilled lives? No greater love can we as parents display than to release our grip from our children, and to release them to the wide world as the free spirits they were born to be. I’m by no means negating the importance of guidance in the early years, of formal education and all the rest that goes into the rearing of children – I’m talking about the expectations we have, as parents, and the uncompromising way we have of dealing with choices our children make that don’t fit neatly into our little box of possibilities.
I pray for wisdom as my children continue to grow and to exercise the choices they were to born to make, and I pray for enlightenment, love and peace, humility, tolerance, and, till the day I die, a sense of humour - asseblief!!!
Friday, 1 April 2011
Songwriting weather
Wednesday 23 March 2011
Another day that took me by surprise. Fresh from the exhilaration of yesterday, I had enough residue of warm satisfaction to enable me to deal with some unexpected challenges calmly and flexibly. When shit happens – as it WILL, from time to time – this is my perspective: If it’s not death, just give me a few minutes and I’ll come up with Plan B.
I believe that life is filled with alternatives, if we’re just patient enough time to spot them. I’m trying to hone my skills in the alternative-spotting department. Breathe in, breathe out. Slowly getting there.
Firstly, yesterday was a hugely significant day for me because I sorted out a major issue on which I’d procrastinated for long. I’m talking years. I went to SARS (South African Revenue Services) and filled in all my outstanding income tax returns. Phew!! Not as bad as I’d thought it would be; I had been paying tax all these years - just neglected to send in tax returns. There are penalties, though, which I accept as my due (success story of Calvinistic old-SA socialisation). Even though I got there at 08:30 – which I’d thought was early, I still had a three-hour wait. I must say, though, unlike the pitiful state of affairs at the Home Affairs and UIF offices, this place is super-jacked up: at the reception desk, you’re given a number, and you can sit wherever you like, which means you don’t have to play unmusical chairs. The place is clean, there are television sets to keep you from dying of boredom (I read and played Sudoku), and the system of announcing the numbers works very well. The clerk who assisted me was efficient, helpful and proactive. You could see she was genuinely interested in helping people, which one seldom encounters at government offices. Too many government employees look miserable, brightening up only when they’re due for a tea or lunch break. Sorry, but this cynicism is based on too many lousy experiences. This lady, however, gave me hope – if she’s anything to go by, things appear to be moving in the right direction.
Secondly, yesterday was extremely significant, because I moved beyond my previous best in the pool, and swam a healthy SIXTY lengths! I can hardly believe it, but I did! And it wasn’t even me pushing myself - it just happened seamlessly and naturally, like I choose to believe all the dreams I have will fall into place, in their own time, smoothly and organically. And why shouldn’t they? It doesn’t mean because my great-grandfather got from A to B by horse and carriage that I can’t aspire to a smooth, sleek ride. (By the way, my current car, Gertie, is once again testing my patience, but that’s another story.)
I now know the factors that predispose me to a good, long swim. One of them is that the gym shouldn’t be too busy. More specifically, the pool shouldn’t be full. If it is, I shouldn’t be asked to share my lane. I don’t have much tolerance for that; it just spoils my fun. So I generally try to go at times when the gym’s less busy. Also, I shouldn’t have to rush off to another appointment, because that forces me to watch the clock. I love going for a swim when I have loads of time to spare. That means I fully immerse myself in the experience. What works for me, and this might sound crazy, is to focus on something else. Once I’ve done twenty lengths, I’m warmed up, I can feel my rhythm’s where it should be, and I’m basically able to go on and on. What I do from that point on, is some form of meditation. I choose a topic and contemplate it for ten lengths. It’s hard to describe, but it fuels me. Basically I combine my physical workout with some of the techniques taught in Mind Power. So for ten lengths at a time, I think about my music goals, my fitness goals, my dream home, my ideal partner, etc. It’s fun. You learn, in Mind Power, not to limit yourself to reality, and that’s really a whole lot of fun. If I’d limited myself to “reality”, I’d still be swimming a maximum of 12 lengths, which was what I was doing when I started swimming seriously in October 2010. If I’d limited myself to “reality”, I wouldn’t be doing a solo gig once a week, because my “reality” (read, “limit”) would be that I needed a second musician to make it happen. Says who?
Different is not always worse – it’s just different. We’re always quantifying and stratifying, always creating hierarchical systems, always seeing things in terms of absolutes, mutually exclusive. I reject that as both limiting and unexciting, closing more doors than it could ever possibly open. I can make music in a duo as well as in a solo situation – because I can. Reality is whatever you make it. It’s also a very personal thing. Sometimes I just don’t bother to explain it to people, especially when I can see they’re not open to new ideas.
I find doing affirmations while I swim very empowering and invigorating – I set up a rhythm of movement that coincides with the words of my affirmation, and once I’m into it, that’s when I feel I could go on forever! When I got to 50 lengths yesterday, I was enjoying the Mind Power so much, that I just kept on swimming. Even at 60 lengths I wasn’t exhausted, but I stopped because I didn’t want to overdo it. I can tell you one thing, though – I’ll be doing 70 lengths long before my next birthday, in September. As with most things I’m striving for, all I need are time and space – I can make the magic happen.
Recently someone said to me she was reluctant to start a blog because she didn’t want people reading about her personal stuff. I respect that. For me, there’s personal and then there’s personal. I could write for hours, days, weeks, even months, and you wouldn’t necessarily know about the really personal stuff in my life. I write because I love writing. I love words. I love putting ideas down and expressing what’s inside of me. It’s fun, it’s a game, and I love it.
For example, I could tell you that today’s weather turns me on, that it’s songwriting weather and it’s lovemaking weather, but you wouldn’t know whether I’d be indulging in either of those activities, would you?
Another day that took me by surprise. Fresh from the exhilaration of yesterday, I had enough residue of warm satisfaction to enable me to deal with some unexpected challenges calmly and flexibly. When shit happens – as it WILL, from time to time – this is my perspective: If it’s not death, just give me a few minutes and I’ll come up with Plan B.
I believe that life is filled with alternatives, if we’re just patient enough time to spot them. I’m trying to hone my skills in the alternative-spotting department. Breathe in, breathe out. Slowly getting there.
Firstly, yesterday was a hugely significant day for me because I sorted out a major issue on which I’d procrastinated for long. I’m talking years. I went to SARS (South African Revenue Services) and filled in all my outstanding income tax returns. Phew!! Not as bad as I’d thought it would be; I had been paying tax all these years - just neglected to send in tax returns. There are penalties, though, which I accept as my due (success story of Calvinistic old-SA socialisation). Even though I got there at 08:30 – which I’d thought was early, I still had a three-hour wait. I must say, though, unlike the pitiful state of affairs at the Home Affairs and UIF offices, this place is super-jacked up: at the reception desk, you’re given a number, and you can sit wherever you like, which means you don’t have to play unmusical chairs. The place is clean, there are television sets to keep you from dying of boredom (I read and played Sudoku), and the system of announcing the numbers works very well. The clerk who assisted me was efficient, helpful and proactive. You could see she was genuinely interested in helping people, which one seldom encounters at government offices. Too many government employees look miserable, brightening up only when they’re due for a tea or lunch break. Sorry, but this cynicism is based on too many lousy experiences. This lady, however, gave me hope – if she’s anything to go by, things appear to be moving in the right direction.
Secondly, yesterday was extremely significant, because I moved beyond my previous best in the pool, and swam a healthy SIXTY lengths! I can hardly believe it, but I did! And it wasn’t even me pushing myself - it just happened seamlessly and naturally, like I choose to believe all the dreams I have will fall into place, in their own time, smoothly and organically. And why shouldn’t they? It doesn’t mean because my great-grandfather got from A to B by horse and carriage that I can’t aspire to a smooth, sleek ride. (By the way, my current car, Gertie, is once again testing my patience, but that’s another story.)
I now know the factors that predispose me to a good, long swim. One of them is that the gym shouldn’t be too busy. More specifically, the pool shouldn’t be full. If it is, I shouldn’t be asked to share my lane. I don’t have much tolerance for that; it just spoils my fun. So I generally try to go at times when the gym’s less busy. Also, I shouldn’t have to rush off to another appointment, because that forces me to watch the clock. I love going for a swim when I have loads of time to spare. That means I fully immerse myself in the experience. What works for me, and this might sound crazy, is to focus on something else. Once I’ve done twenty lengths, I’m warmed up, I can feel my rhythm’s where it should be, and I’m basically able to go on and on. What I do from that point on, is some form of meditation. I choose a topic and contemplate it for ten lengths. It’s hard to describe, but it fuels me. Basically I combine my physical workout with some of the techniques taught in Mind Power. So for ten lengths at a time, I think about my music goals, my fitness goals, my dream home, my ideal partner, etc. It’s fun. You learn, in Mind Power, not to limit yourself to reality, and that’s really a whole lot of fun. If I’d limited myself to “reality”, I’d still be swimming a maximum of 12 lengths, which was what I was doing when I started swimming seriously in October 2010. If I’d limited myself to “reality”, I wouldn’t be doing a solo gig once a week, because my “reality” (read, “limit”) would be that I needed a second musician to make it happen. Says who?
Different is not always worse – it’s just different. We’re always quantifying and stratifying, always creating hierarchical systems, always seeing things in terms of absolutes, mutually exclusive. I reject that as both limiting and unexciting, closing more doors than it could ever possibly open. I can make music in a duo as well as in a solo situation – because I can. Reality is whatever you make it. It’s also a very personal thing. Sometimes I just don’t bother to explain it to people, especially when I can see they’re not open to new ideas.
I find doing affirmations while I swim very empowering and invigorating – I set up a rhythm of movement that coincides with the words of my affirmation, and once I’m into it, that’s when I feel I could go on forever! When I got to 50 lengths yesterday, I was enjoying the Mind Power so much, that I just kept on swimming. Even at 60 lengths I wasn’t exhausted, but I stopped because I didn’t want to overdo it. I can tell you one thing, though – I’ll be doing 70 lengths long before my next birthday, in September. As with most things I’m striving for, all I need are time and space – I can make the magic happen.
Recently someone said to me she was reluctant to start a blog because she didn’t want people reading about her personal stuff. I respect that. For me, there’s personal and then there’s personal. I could write for hours, days, weeks, even months, and you wouldn’t necessarily know about the really personal stuff in my life. I write because I love writing. I love words. I love putting ideas down and expressing what’s inside of me. It’s fun, it’s a game, and I love it.
For example, I could tell you that today’s weather turns me on, that it’s songwriting weather and it’s lovemaking weather, but you wouldn’t know whether I’d be indulging in either of those activities, would you?
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