Reflecting on 2023: My Music

Despite the craziness of my formal job, from January to June 2023 (it's December, and we haven't been paid YET! See previous post.), I was fortunate to have the desire, stamina and stubbornness to pursue my all-time passion: music. More specifically, to perform my own compositions, written over four decades, to listening audiences, in spaces around Cape Town that were conducive to story-telling. 

SOLO SESSION 6

In Sept 2022, I'd started an intimate concert series, called Solo Sessions. In Jan 2023, I did my 6th one, this time in the foyer of The Masque Theatre, in Muizenberg. Tickets were sold out, and the specifics of the venue taught me that my original model needed to be tweaked - the show worked much better with the audience seated at tables, sipping and nibbling something. It was a memorable event; my cousin, Theresa Smith, was my assistant, and my friend, William Rose, my photographer.    

                                                              Photo: William Rose 

SOLO SESSION 7

Towards the end of February, I bravely tackled my next Solo Session, this time venturing way out of the southern suburbs of Cape Town, to Seven Sisters Vineyards, in Stellenbosch. It is owned by seven sisters, with one of the sisters, Vivian Kleynhans, as CEO. As each venue I explored came with specific requirements, I had to change my tickets prices, to cover my overheads and earn something, as well. With a smaller audience than the previous one, the event was no less enjoyable. The venue was spectacular, and the in-house catering superb! This time, Theresa doubled up as my assistant and my photographer. I love the freshness that different photographers bring to my concert memories.      

                                                                Photo: Theresa Smith 

SOLO SESSION 8

After my 7th session, I  needed a break; I'd been going non-stop - arranging, marketing, rehearsing and performing in 7 solo concerts of original work in 6 months. I could feel I needed to slow down and step back a bit. I rested throughout March, and my next concert was at the end of April, at Suzie's Coffee Shop, in Kuils River. Once again, the combination of a magical space and a listening audience of music lovers ensured a satisfying event. 

                                                      Photo by audience member

SOLO SESSION 9

This concert was done as a fundraiser for a church in Gleemoor, Athlone. For the first half, I did a shorter version of my Solo Session, and for the second half, I did covers. Thanks to the hard work of the organisers, there were about 60 people present; the audience was warm and responsive, joining me in a sing-along, and even dancing! 

SOLO SESSION 10 

At this point, I have to mention that putting on a series like this, with NO budget and NO manager, comes with no guarantees whatsoever. All I have are my vision and my desire to do what I can, while I can. I enter into an agreement with the venue, and I set about doing everything else on my own. On the day, I ideally need an assistant and a photographer, but as you can see, that's not always possible.   

For the 10th one, I returned to a space I really like - the Homecoming Centre, in District Six. In fact, it's the foyer of the old Fugard Theatre. This day required a huge amount of determination, a belief in my bigger goal, and a huge leap of faith. On the day, Cape Town had one of its worst storms of the year. People who had promised to attend, cancelled. With no guarantee that anyone would pitch up, I went ahead. I'd advertised extensively, in newspapers, on the radio, via my email network, and on various social media platforms, so there was always the possibility that someone would attend. In the end, ONE person turned up. She was someone to whom I'd taught guitar lessons, a few years ago, and she'd never heard me perform before, so I did the show for her - with all the love and gratitude I could muster. 

On the photo with me is my friend, Elise Fernandez, who, at short notice, agreed to be my assistant for the show. I'd quite forgotten that she was also a filmmaker. To my absolute delight, she spontaneously filmed the entire show, giving me much-needed video footage!   

                                            Elise Fernandez and I. Photo by audience member's son. 

SOLO SESSION 11

My final concert for the year was in August, at The Wave Cafe, in Long Street, in the CBD. For some reason, this concert felt like the most fun I'd had at any of the solo sessions. Quite a few of my friends attended, including my dear friend, Winlyn, visiting from abroad. It was interesting to see a few people in the audience who'd attended previous solo sessions. Once again without an assistant or a photographer, I was lucky to have another friend, Gail Van Breda, in the audience, who offered to take pics and videos.  

A group photo with some of the audience members. 

 I so badly wanted to end the year with Solo Session 12, to round off the series, because I have a new concept for next year's concerts. I even started exploring possible dates late in December, but I couldn't get what I wanted. 

So, with the unfinished number of 11 as my total number of solo sessions (or maybe not?), I end this year. Even though I didn't achieve 12 (the original goal was 12 by Sept 2023) before the end of 2024, I'm still satisfied that I continued with the concert series: I had good experiences at the different venues, I met really cool people who were willing to give my concept a chance, and I got to perform my original songs to many people who'd never heard me before. 

Based on the feedback, I can see how important it is for me to prioritise releasing recorded music. I suppose that's something to wrap my head around in 2024. We'll see. 

I am deeply grateful to EVERYONE who supported my shows in 2023 - the venue owners and managers, the media people (radio and newspapers) who helped get my message out, the photographers, the friends who assisted me, the friends who shared my MANY social media posts, and the people who took time out of their busy lives to attend my shows and listen to the stories in my songs. Thank you for supporting local music.

May 2024 be a better year for us all. 

                                9 Dec 2023 - I sang a few originals at a Woman Zone gathering.

                                                           Photo: Theresa Smith

   

Reflecting on 2023: Employment

My usual habit of reflecting - at the end of a day, week, month, a job, a project, or even a relationship - is always intensified as I approach the end of a year. My desire to write a reflection on the year becomes almost overwhelming. I wonder what the job equivalent would be of my intense need to write in this way. My life would've taken a completely different direction, had I been a full-time writer. Maybe it's something I'll do once I exit the formal employment sector, in the not-too-distant future. 

Thankfully, my approach to life is that not everything you love needs to be done professionally. It's actually a relief to be able to immerse oneself in one's passions and keep them as hobbies. For me, the lines have occasionally blurred, with my hobbies turning into part-time income-generating activities. I know that, when I'm under pressure, in my main job, the passion that led me to that job can be eroded.  For example, when I tried being a full-time musician, where I relied on my income from music to feed my family, I hated the feeling of not being able to be as discerning as I wanted to be.  No - for me, music fits well into my life as a part-time thing. A side-hustle. 😀

So what's 2023 been like, for me? There were two parts of my life that dominated my year: my employment situation, and my music. With deliberate compartmentalisation, I persisted with the latter, despite the most bizarre set of issues in the former. In this post, I'll focus on the former. 

EMPLOYMENT

In mid-January, I returned to my part-time post at College of Cape Town, where I continued teaching English to adults in the Amended Senior Certificate programme. The course runs from October one year to June the next, when the students write their matric exams. We sign a contract in October, and a second one in January, with all the conditions remaining the same - we teach the same subjects, to the same students, in the same timetable, earning the same hourly rate, as the entire course budget is approved before the October start. 

However, in January we did not receive our new contracts. This did not perturb us too much, as the contracts had been late before. At the end of Feb, there were still no contracts. Those of us who taught only part-time really felt it, but our colleagues who were also full-time employees of the college were only expecting to be paid at the end of March. Meanwhile, the rest of us had resorted to borrowing, to survive. When the end of March came, and there were still no contracts, the educators in the programme got together, which was when the full-time staff realised that the part-timers had not been paid since January! As a team, we started contacting the relevant people in the college, working through the chain of command, raising our concerns and requesting our contracts, as well as our salaries from January. Contracts were then issued, with the hourly rate reduced by about 60% and the start date given as April, and not January!! We refused to sign, and new contracts were issued, with the correct date, but still the reduced rate. We once again refused to sign, demanding our original rate (as no-one had given us any notice about the rate changing).

A LOT has happened since then, but the bottom line is we've not been paid yet. What has become evident is the lack of integrity of the top leadership of the college group.  After going through the required channels yielded no response, the educators involved then escalated to the next level, involving the CCMA, as well as private lawyers. 

The outcome? Nothing yet. We've not been paid yet. It has, however, come to light (in the media) that the leadership crisis within the college group is much bigger than just our matter. I look forward to seeing the outcome of those other accusations of impropriety.  

On a personal level, not being paid my salary from January to June caused problems in my life that will take years to sort out. Borrowing money, thinking you're going to repay it a month later, then having to borrow again and again - that's soul-destroying. When I tried to communicate the impact of the non-payment, in a meeting at head office, I was told that no "emotional outbursts" would be entertained. I guarantee you that that would not have been said to a male. They say there are only two certainties in life: taxes and death. Well, I think we can quite safely add a third - the patriarchy. YOU try not being emotional when you can't pay your rent! And what's so wrong about being emotional, anyway? I'm a human being, and my basic rights were violated! Surely, within the South African context, everyone can understand how unacceptable that is!    

My anchors, throughout that time, were my family, a few friends, my colleagues, and my music. 

Thank God for them all!  

A NEW BEGINNING

Towards the end of August, after being unemployed for almost three months, I successfully applied for a 5-week teaching opportunity at a nearby high school. In that period, I applied for the same post for the fourth term, and was accepted, Also in that 5-week period, I  applied for the post for 2024, which I was very happy to be offered.

Teaching at a well-run school, with a proud history of anti-apartheid activism and a present-day involvement in social justice issues, which is less than 3km from my home - that feels like the "radical, positive change" I'd been manifesting for months. 

It's been a busy and exciting three and a half months - wow! Never a dull moment! I have no doubt that 2024 is going to be just as exciting. I look forward to all that lies ahead. 

Thank you to all who gave me the chance, with each of my applications. I'm ready to make a contribution to the students and to the school, as a whole. I feel like I've entered a significant chapter of my life. 

Time will tell.    

                                             A photo I took at an evening event at school. 

 

Three months into this new chapter

On 15 August, a friend texted me, saying, "Hopefully some good news soon." I thought she was just being kind, until a mutual friend contacted me the following day, informing me that a nearby school was looking for a teacher urgently. I expressed my interest, sent my CV, had a panel interview a week later, and started teaching five days later. And now it's just over three months later, and I feel like I've been there for much longer. 

Having worked in different places, by choice, I am familiar with being the new person among an established team of colleagues. I learn something every day - whether it's about the school's systems or the people. I've always been an observer of people, and it fascinates me to go into a new environment and meet a whole lot of people I haven't met before. I have a strong sense of who I am and what my work ethic is, so all I have to do is learn the systems in place, know the deadlines, and fulfil my duties, adding as much value as I can, in both measurable and immeasurable ways. (If only it were that straightforward! 😄)

I teach a fascinating subject - Life Orientation- which was not on offer when I was at high school. From what I've read, it was introduced into the curriculum in the late 1990s, in post-apartheid South Africa. I think it's grown a lot since then. I also teach English.

I really like the subject, because it deals with topics that have relevance to everyday life, like knowledge of oneself,  interpersonal communication, and conflict resolution. It also covers topics to do with study methods, citizenship, the world of work, and sexuality, amongst others - the latter being fairly contentious, especially amongst more conservative thinkers. I am wholeheartedly behind teaching age-appropriate sex education. Knowledge can never hurt anyone. Instead, the hope is that young people would make informed decisions, based on that knowledge.

With just four school days left for the year, we're busy with reports and other end-of-year procedures. Today we had our prize-giving gathering for the Grade 8 to 11 students. I clapped for each child like he/she was my own, remembering that feeling of hearing my own children's names being called for awards.      

I am over the moon to have a one-year contract at the same school, which will make 2024 an extremely interesting year - completely different to 2023, which had so many curveballs, in the first 8 months, it felt like a never-ending squash match. Ending the year with a job, and looking forward to returning to this job in the new year - I have no words to describe how happy I am.  

I would've loved to have ended this year with Solo Session 12, but I don't think that's going to happen, which is okay. The four weeks that I'll be home, from mid-December to mid-January, will be filled with a combination of prepping for next year, catching up with some things around the house (and garden!), spending time with loved ones, and playing as much music as I can.

Tomorrow morning, I'm singing two sets at a women's gathering, for which I've written two new songs. After a few really hot days (and nights), I'm happy that the weather's cooled down. In fact, it looks like we're in for some rain. I just hope that there's no rain when I have to cart my equipment into and out of the venue tomorrow. 

After that event, I'm off to a special event at my old high school, Harold Cressy High, where a Wall of Honour is being unveiled. Plaques have been made, bearing the names of people who've contributed to the building of the hall or to the school in any way, over the years. Should be fun. I'll get to see high school friends, which is always very pleasant.  I matriculated in 1979, and I still feel a strong connection to the school. 

As I wind up this post, I feel grateful that I survived the journey through the dark tunnel I found myself in, this year, and that life sent me a beautiful bright light that guided me out. I am deeply grateful to everyone who gave me leads to follow up on, including the one that got me this teaching job. I take nothing for granted. 

In so many ways, I am very, very lucky.   

My Sweet Unbloggable You

Once again, despite being passionate about writing, I managed to let more than a month go by without blogging. As I often say (in almost every post), I think the fact that I journal daily has an impact. Why do I write? I can't explain it. All I know is that I feel incomplete - even bereft - when I don't write for more than a day. 

We're right back to frequent loadshedding, with nobody really interested in the "reasons" (excuses) for the electrical blackouts, but everybody agreeing that we've had enough. Which brings us to the topic of what to do to voice our unhappiness and bring about change. Well, we have our five-yearly general elections in 2024, and lots of people are saying they won't vote for the ANC anymore. It really does feel like the ANC's reign is about to be brought to an ignominious end. Public discontent with the party is at its highest, since it came into power in 1994. More than that, a few minority parties have started a new movement, called the Multi-Party Charter, aimed at unseating the ANC in the next general election. Ons sal sien. (Afrikaans for "We shall see.") 

One of the most inconvenient things about loadshedding (which, itself, is a huge inconvenience) is how frequently the announcements (on an App) change! The schedule changes throughout the day! You can't plan even one day, let alone a week. It's spoilt so many things for us, because you could plan a gathering or a concert, you can factor in everything else, but if you don't arrange for back-up power, your entire event could be ruined. In my opinion, the visible fallout of loadshedding - those who can afford it, leaving the country in droves - is not as alarming as the invisible fallout: a massive increase in mental health issues, amongst South Africans. It feels like the biggest slap in the face from a government that was voted in because of its role in liberating us from apartheid. But I think this is yet another case of a liberation movement not being able to govern, post-liberation. In a quick internet search, I found that most of the cases cited are from Africa and South America. Let's be honest, it's not like most of the Western world is doing such a great job of treating its citizens with respect.  

But, I digress. I spent the first 32 and a half years of my life under the racist apartheid regime of the National Party. It was this party, with its official opposition, the Democratic Party, that formed the Democratic Alliance, in 2000. So - all you folks who were oppressed under apartheid and now vote for the DA - half of its DNA is the very National Party that labelled you "non-white" (and other racist terms), treated you like an aberration, and denied you the vote in the land of your birth. Just saying. Enjoy your t-shirt, your flag and your hot meal. It's called Stockholm Syndrome.

Ok, back to me and my life. :-) I've just completed three months of teaching at a nearby high school, with my most recent experience being final exams and everything that goes with them. Shoo!!! That's all I can say. Shoo!   

Now we're busy with the various post-exam processes, after which we'll go on our annual summer break, for four weeks. With just eight school days left for teachers, I'm seeing just how much is packed into these post-exam days. I can already see myself working on and off during the holidays (at home), and the four weeks simply flying by.      

About four weeks ago, I experienced a huge change in my life, which set in motion a chain of other changes, some current and others yet to come. Next year will see me making at least one massive change, as part of this situation. I've decided to focus on the positive side of it, and embrace the new. Without change, we stagnate. In all the ways that matter most, my year's ending much better than it started. For that, I can only feel immense gratitude.      

I feel like I have unfinished business, regarding my Solo Sessions, because I ended at No. 11. That was as far back as August! About two weeks ago, I did a little home video recording of one of my favourite covers: Embraceable You. (Check it out on my Facebook music page: Trudy Rushin, Singer-Songwriter.) Why have I been so absent from the music scene? It's simple - I'm back in teaching! Not an easy pair to stay on top of, simultaneously. I'm sure that, as I settle into my groove, in my teaching job, I'll find the energy to do concerts again. 

Ons sal sien. 

                            Singing a cover of "Embraceable You", in November 2023.