Checking in on 24/02/19 (& more on The Daily Music Show)

Who am I?

Trudy Rushin

Where am I?

Sitting at my kitchen table, my favourite writing spot, in a house I’ve lived in for 22 years, in the southern suburbs of Cape Town.

How am I?

Tired, but happy. And, most importantly, at peace. At peace with how much better I’ve become at discerning when to say YES and NO. I’m at peace with the fact that life can get busy, but that we always have a choice as to what we take on, as well as how we go about honouring all our commitments. I’m also at peace with the reality that, even within the beautiful things we say YES to, there can still be new – and sometimes painful - lessons, but that all of those just equip us better for the next set of life’s YES/NO questions.  

   

I love the feeling of learning, growing and making better decisions. I love having broken out of martyr mode, and taking better care of myself, through making healthier decisions.

I think that, when it finally hit me that this was MY life, and that I owed it to myself and my loved ones to create the most favourable conditions in which to live and thrive – en route to the end of life, which is death -  things became a lot clearer to me about MY role in what I’d been putting up with for so long. How liberating! It’s not just changing gears - it’s getting out of your vehicle with its 1300 engine, and getting into a huge, powerful 2litre 4X4, that can tackle absolutely any terrain! 😊 It’s getting out of the leaking rubber dinghy and boarding a cruise liner. 

Why am I?

It’s interesting how this answer changes, as I tune into different energies in my life at the time of writing.

Right now, my awareness of myself as an artist, a musician, is what fuels and buoys me,  filling me with ideas, dreams and plans, some of which I’d literally been too afraid to have before.

I’m fascinated at how life works, as you get older. For example, I’ve decided not to dye my hair anymore, but to let my natural hair grow out. This means I will be getting steadily greyer. My decision was based on two main things – one functional, and one spiritual: 1) I needed to trim my budget, for bigger-picture reasons, and 2) I was finally ready, as a woman, to take that step.

My strongest awareness of myself, right now, is of my artist self: I am a musician. I am a singer-songwriter. I have a body of compositions of viable, stand-alone songs. My songs tell the story of how I’ve walked my journey, what’s captured my attention and what’s affected me profoundly, very much like a photographer or artist’s work does. My songs expose the jigsaw puzzle of my life, without pretending there are no pieces missing.

The Daily Music Show

Earlier this month, I was invited by Joey Fourie (music lover and social entrepreneur), to perform for 8 consecutive evenings at his new venue in Cape Town, called The Daily Music Show. Its primary aim is to provide a public platform for local culture – music, poetry, art and cuisine, for now - largely with tourists in mind, but most definitely for locals to enjoy what our city has to offer, as well. For many reasons, Cape Town is still a very divided city, and we still tend to live in bubbles, moving within very limited spaces, pretty much along the lines set out by the apartheid government. Having this kind of initiative right in the centre of the CBD of the Mother City, where very few previously-disadvantaged people live, is perfect, because it brings us right back to the heart of the Mother. To come together as people with more in  common than we realise.

Joey’s brief to me was to sing original music, not as a soloist, but in ensemble format. I loved it, because it opened opportunities for me to not only collaborate with different people, but to have my songs pulled in interesting directions, through the interpretations of the musicians who’d be accompanying me. In other words, it was a growth opportunity.  

I ended up working with two different ensembles, essentially built around the guitarists I’d chosen, both of whom I’d worked with before (in one case, extensively) and who knew my heart.

On Thurs. 14 and Sat. 16 Feb, I performed with Rudy Burns (guitar), Errol Davids (saxophone) and Bernie Lawrence (bass guitar and percussion). Many of the people who heard this band said it was the perfect band for me. I thoroughly enjoyed rehearsing and performing with them and would love to work with them again. We just clicked. I think the saxophone sound works perfectly with my songs; it’s a sound I find pleasant and exciting, warm and beautiful. 

I wasn’t able to accept the Sunday night, because of a prior family commitment, so I was supposed to have performed with the other band on 5 nights. Due to very small audiences, two of the nights were cancelled, so we worked together on only 3 nights: Fri. 15, Wed. 20 and Thurs. 21 Feb. The line-up was Keith Tabisher (guitarist I’ve been working in duo format for 16 years), Alistair Andrews (bass guitar) and Randall Cyster (drums). Needless to say, this was a very different sound, and I was completely out of my comfort zone. Some of the time, I really struggled. My songs have lyrics, which need to be heard, and the accompaniment should never frustrate that process.  By the last night, we’d started settling our sound and I couldn’t help but wonder what we’d have sounded like, had we played for the full five nights.  

                     On our last night at The Daily Music Show, Thurs 21/02/19

L-R: Khadija Heeger (poet), Joey Fourie (host), Keith Tabisher (guitarist), Kenny Alexander (artist in residence), Alistair Andrews (bassist), Trudy Rushin (singer-songwriter-guitarist) Roché Kester (poet) and Randall Cyster (drummer)// Photo: ChellaOhtoowaan

Behind the scenes, I’d had to book annual leave to get out of work earlier every day. Fortunately, we have showers at work, so I could take all my things along, shower at a certain time, and make my way to the venue. In case you don’t know, I’m Virgo: there’s no way I could go to a gig without showering, washing my hair, and putting on clean clothes. For me, it’s all part of the ritual of preparing to perform. Tick! (Mental checklist)

There were so many lessons learnt, so many bridges built and one drawbridge lifted, never to be let down again. And that’s life.   

So, why am I? I’m a musician, and that is the path I want to pursue with all my heart. It’s tough doing the day job and music thing at the same time. Tough, but not impossible. You just need to sort out your priorities, and be very organised. 

And let’s not forget this scary but exciting truth: the only constant in life is change.  

The Daily Music Show - Reflecting after Gig No. 3

This started out as a Facebook post, but I realised I had a lot to say, so I switched over to my blog.

Last night was my third consecutive night of singing at this interesting and increasingly-fascinating venue. You may be surprised to know that I have never done a run like this before, going to a venue night after night and singing - especially not my originals, which are usually wrapped in tissue paper and taken out for special occasions, like my annual concert with Wayne Bosch, or the odd event where originals are celebrated, such as house concerts or poetry events.

As I've returned to the space day after day, it's begun to seep into my consciousness, even my identity, as have the people there, each adding his/her special ingredient to what ends up being a fragrant and delicious pot of home-made Kaapse bredie. :-)

I've sung there for the past three nights, and each night has been distinctly different from the other. Onstage, I've worked with two bands, so the feeling of making music, of singing my originals, has been different. The instruments have been different, as have the people playing them. Add to that the audience composition, which changes every night, and you have the most interesting shift of dynamics. As a result, the energy and the kaleidoscope of emotions while I'm singing my songs, baring my soul, have been very different on each night.

Everything to an artist is energy. Your emotions threaten to override everything, but you learn to keep them in check, and carry on, regardless of the whirlpool inside.

On the first night, I forgot to take photos, but on the second night, I made sure we posed and captured the event for posterity. Last night, my third night there, a professional photographer (Jeffrey Abrahams) was there, snapping away, and we ended up having really good photos of last night's performance, as well as of the band posing together at the end of the gig. It was the last night in this run that I would be working with that band: Rudy Burns (guitar), Bernie Lawrence (bass guitar) and Errol Davids (sax). I loved working with them, and felt quite sad having to say goodbye. But it's up to us to create more opportunities to work together, right? These are memories to document and cherish. Thank you so much, Jeffrey! You are a true artist!

L-R: Bernie, Rudy, me and Errol (16/02/19 - Pic by Jeffrey Abrahams)

What's also interesting is seeing other people's photos and videos, after the event. The age of technology we live in fascinates me. Thanks to everyone for sharing their videos and pics on Facebook. The impact is greater than you may think.

I have four more nights (Mon 18 - Thurs 21) at this very special spot in our Mother City, and I plan to enjoy every one of them. I look forward to singing with Keith Tabisher (guitar), who's been my music partner for 16 years, as well as with Alistair Andrews (bass guitar) - he was my first guitar teacher at Jazz Workshop, many moons ago - and Randall Cyster (drums), with whom I sang decades ago. A very different sound and energy to the other band I worked with, but that's part of the exciting buzz of this place - The Daily Music Show.

I can't end this post without acknowledging Joey Fourie, who designed the concept and is finally seeing his dream come alive. Joey is the host of The Daily Music Show, and his whacky, think-out-of-the-box energy is a huge part of the vibe of this place. He's not afraid to try something different, shake things up, add a new element, even at short notice. If you can appreciate the possibilities that open up with that approach, you will love The Daily Music Show. Joey is a true entrepreneur, he loves Cape Town and all it has to offer, he's currently putting in the effort while the concept is going through its crawling stages, and he's got the tenacity and the endurance to see it through to its inevitable success. Joey deserves our support. He's breathing new life into the CBD, with this venture, and doing what we've been saying this city needs, in the humblest of ways. Yet, this is a concept that is destined for huge success.

L-R: Craig Berry, Joey, me, Kenny Alexander (resident artist), Keith and Alistair. (15/02/19)

I believe, with all my heart, that one day, in the not-too-distant future, tourists from all over the world will not want to leave Cape Town without having experienced The Daily Music Show.

No more pedestals

Over the years, I have been disappointed by people - acquaintances, colleagues, friends, lovers and even family members. I've finally figured out what I need to do differently, and it's just another aspect of self-preservation. 

I have a  tendency to put people on pedestals - I see only their good points, their strengths, their achievements, how nice they seem, how funny they are, and many other characteristics that I admire. Even when people caution me against individuals they've had bad experiences with, I go ahead and do my own thing - occasionally with disastrous effects.  

But the older I get, the more I realise ...well....just how ordinary most people are, and that the pedestals I've been putting them on are undeserved. But it's not their fault - I'm the one who put them there. 

So, after the umpteenth disappointment by someone I'd looked up to and respected, I've decided that I'm not putting people on pedestals anymore. I will regard everyone I meet as ordinary and capable of disappointing me, and I'll take it from there.

Another thing I'm really tired of is the celebrity culture we have, here in Cape Town (and I suppose all over the world). In Afrikaans, the word "verskrik" best describes that kind of hero-worship. I'm often shocked to see how people who should know better,  fall into that trap. So if you're an honest, decent person, who operates in a principled way, you're reliable, a person of your word and  consistently respectful towards others, that can actually count for very little, in certain circles; but if you're well-known, well, THEN you're worth something. What is it about celebrity-verskrik people, anyway? Aspiring to celebrity status themselves and believing that they might achieve it by association? Hilarious. And sad.  

So back to the pedestal matter - there are local celebrities I also put on pedestals, until they showed me how little regard they had for others, how bigoted and self-aggrandising  they were, and how all you're good for is to give them access to your networks (which you've spent decades building).   

So fuck all of that! I haven't aspired to toeing the mainstream line for many years, and I don't intend to do so now. 

So - no more putting of people on pedestals. 

The people of substance in my life, whom I deeply admire and for whom I'd go out of my way, are so comfortable with who they are, so busy doing what they're passionate about and pursuing their goals, living their truths,  exploring deeper issues, trying to make the world a better place, that they don't constantly seek external approval or validation. 

Or pedestals.  

                    I find solace in nature. Sunset in Camps Bay - Fri 8 Feb 2019.

New Moon in Aquarius

Two days ago, we had the New Moon in Aquarius. I can't tell you what it means, other than that the best time to start a new project is between New Moon and Full Moon.

Once again, I've set my alarm, with the aim of finishing this post in thirty minutes. Let's see. I struggle with brevity.

I'm fascinated by the energy of 2019, so far. At the beginning of 2018, I embarked on a healthier-lifestyle journey, starting with changing my eating habits and trying to exercise (dance) more often. In the process, I lost 12,9kg, regained some of it, and ended the year with a net loss of 10kg. No matter how hard I am on myself about the weight I regained, it doesn't change the fact that I now eat differently, I shop differently, and I have a different awareness about the link between what I eat and how I feel - 'bad' carbs make me depressed, unmotivated and sluggish, whereas foods like protein, fruit and veg lift my energy, make me feel happier and more positive about everything. I've learnt to enjoy salad with at least two of my meals every day, and to avoid junk food. I've also learnt that those very people who make fun of you for making healthier choices are sometimes the ones who, once they've seen the positive result in you, go on to emulate you.

Bottom line, though - I do what makes me happy, I ignore the teasing and cynicism, and I live my truth. 

But the 2019 energy is even more exciting - I feel fearless, ready and not prepared to make excuses anymore. I love it! It affects every area of my life, and I'm learning to discern very quickly which factors cause blockages that prevent me from forging ahead. Identifying them is one step, and then doing something about it is another.

Last year, the book that influenced me a lot (am reading it for the third time now) was The Artist's Way (Julia Cameron) and this year it's The Secret (Rhonda Byrne). I listen to the audio book (online) and I'm allowing it to soak in, marinate and flavour my life. Some of the lessons I've taken to heart are:

1. The most important part of the Law of Attraction is the last 6 letters of ''attraction'': ACTION.

One of the contributors says: ''Act in spite of fear. Act in spite of doubt. Act in spite of worry.'' (Man, did I need those words!!!)

2. Trust what you're attracted to.

3. Reject rejection.

There are many more, but I'm serious about this being a 30-minute blog post.

So here I am, feeling ready. Here I am, feeling fearless. Here I am, tired of making excuses that even I don't buy anymore. And here I am - finally at that point where living my truth has become so much more tangible. And natural and inevitable.

On Sat 2 Feb, I started teaching a beginner guitar class for women. I have six women in this class, and there's been interest from a few others, which might mean I'll start a second class in a month or two's time. I fully believe that, if I were to advertise more widely, I could get a lot more interest. All I know is - I LOVE teaching people to play the guitar, I LOVE making a difference in women's lives, and I LOVE having this new energy to finally add more music to my life.

(You hear that Universe? MORE MUSIC!..... Thank you!)

My new energy sees me tackling old neglected things at home and in no time at all, sorting them out. WHO IS THIS WOMAN? AND WHERE'S SHE BEEN ALL MY LIFE?

What's brought it on? I don't know. Maybe it's a maturity thing. Maybe it's an age thing. Maybe external factors have also nudged me to this point.

Whatever it is, I have no doubt that everything I'll be doing in 2019 is leading to something spectacular in 2020. I suppose you could call it my 2020 vision. (eye roll)

32 minutes!! :-)