I Love New Beginnings / Lockdown Day 506

It’s 14h35 and I’m in my pyjamas, in bed. Is it a rainy day? No – it’s a beautiful sunny day. This is what I wanted to do today, so this is what I’m doing. I get up every now and then to make tea and grab a few biscuits, and then I get back into bed. I’m knitting and watching a series on Netflix. 

With 5 days left in my current job, I have one part-time job confirmed (work-from-home, yay!) and an interview this coming week. I have my preferred outcomes for the next few months, but I understand that flexibility’s important, too.

I’m finding this particular job-leaving process quite tough. I don’t think I realised how much my role encompassed until I had to do a hand-over to my successor. I suppose what the process is teaching me (and not a minute too soon) is how my skill set has grown. When I started, in 2016, I’d worked mainly in Education, even though I had done a range of jobs there and not just taught. Moving into corporate philanthropy was not just a job change, but a career change. I was 54 at the time and most of my previous colleagues were shocked that I’d leave the security of a permanent post in a state tertiary institution to enter a field I knew very little about.

Not only did I adapt, but I also realised how broad my range was and how eager I was to learn what I needed to, for my new job. After one and a half years as project coordinator of a non-profit company (The Delft Big Band NPC), my role was expanded to include managing the funding company’s CSI department, from receiving the applications to ensuring the payments were made and beneficiary reports received. I learnt a lot. I learnt all the time. I learnt from colleagues, in all positions. I particularly liked learning from people who liked sharing their knowledge. I learnt that not everyone does.  

It was the first time I’d worked within that kind of environment, where I had access to departments specialising in areas that were ancillary to mine, where I could meet with teams (like marketing and social media) and have them work on something that would enhance our department’s work. I have a lot of faith in collaborative work.

I learnt about events planning. Again, it's something that requires central coordination of people or teams that specialise in something. I’d done a certificate course in Public Relations, and I loved being able to use the knowledge gained there.

As I wrote in one of my previous posts, I love both structure and unpredictability. The happy medium is different for each of us. I like a job that has a fair amount of both. I get easily bored, but if there’s movement and change within the routines, that’s exciting to me. I can work on the same thing every day, but as long as I’m working towards a goal that will benefit others, I’m happy.

What I learnt, in this job, is that I like working behind the scenes to make things happen. I don’t need to be in the spotlight when the goal is achieved. I do like my hard work to be acknowledged, but it doesn’t need to be public. I love working towards an event, for example, coordinating behind the scenes, and then standing back on the day and seeing everything flow smoothly. Bliss!

I’ve learnt a lot about people, in this job. I’ve learnt about people whose words are always followed by action, and those who use words strategically, to create an impression, but never follow up. As I always say, people are people. It’s more important to me to know what I bring to any situation and to trust myself implicitly, because I know I can always rely on myself. In new situations, one eventually learns who is and isn’t reliable. It’s a process of elimination – just like life.

Even though I’ve made big changes in my life before, this time is decidedly different, and I’m steadily figuring out why.  What I do know is that there’s nothing negative about how I’m feeling. I feel like this is the most significant change I’ve ever made, because everything I’ve done up to now, in my 38 years of working, as well as in my personal life, has prepared me for this next chapter. I feel excited about finding the next context in which to make my contribution. I’m excited to play a role, as part of a multi-faceted team, in making a positive difference. I can’t wait!!

In my last 5 working days before I leave for my next adventure, I will be saying a lot of goodbyes. My daughter reminded me, the other day, that I hated goodbyes. She’s right, but they’re an inevitable part of life, and we can’t avoid them. We shouldn’t. To fully appreciate the profound joy of hellos, we have to know the pain of goodbyes. 

In every job I’ve had, I’ve made an impact and I’ve made friends. I’ve learnt and I’ve grown. I’ve shed certain habits and beliefs, and acquired others. I’ve used existing skills and acquired new ones. Every job I’ve had has opened up more of the world to me than before, growing my networks. That’s the beauty of change, of newness.

I am enormously excited about the world of possibilities just waiting for me.       

I love new beginnings!

                               My neighbour's mulberry tree's spring regrowth. 

Musing / Lockdown Day 499

This past week, everything's had an air of unusualness about it. Over the years, as I gained more self-awareness, I made peace with the fact that, coexisting happily alongside my free-spiritedness, was an equally strong need for routine. This week was practically devoid of routine, which left me feeling scattered.  

A crucial factor, for me, is how much say I have in the drawing up of my routine. I've learnt that, when I create the structure in which I operate, things work well. In the workplace, when I'm involved - or at least considered - in the decisions about my structure, things work well. The truth is that, when I operate within a structure that is internally determined, I experience a sense of flow. The opposite exists when I operate within an externally-imposed structure that makes no sense to me. What I've learnt, after affording myself the opportunity to work in a number of different jobs, is that I'm capable of adapting and tweaking my style to suit different contexts, within certain limits. I generally don't know what the limits are until I encounter them.

Because I love drawing up my own routines and experiencing the flow that comes with structure, I adapted to the work-from-home model with ease. I got up at the same time on work days, had breakfast, showered, washed my hair (habit - I do this every day), got dressed and went to the table I'd set up in the lounge, to do my day's work. I'd have virtual meetings there, and basically do everything from there, just as I would've at my desk at the office. I couldn't get out of certain habits I'd had for a long time, so I always applied make-up, especially on days with scheduled meetings.  My team and I continued to have our weekly meetings, a system which ensured communication and accountability.

This week has been all over the show. I'm leaving my job at the end of the month, so my main focus is on handing over to my successor. There were differing views as to how long this would take, from one meeting to a month. 

The main lesson I learnt, this week, was this: If I'm clear about my desired outcome, only I can ensure it happens; if I wait for others to share my vision and timeline, I'll be disappointed and frustrated. That was an excellent lesson to be reminded of, at this stage of my life. Taking a severance package cushions me for a short period of time, beyond which my household and I will experience hardship unless I find  a new job. I need to remain proactive, remove the drama and chaos from this transition period, and keep my eye fixed on my goals. 

I have two lists of things related to my hand-over - one professional and one personal. I've left places of employment before, and I believe in leaving on a good note. Life is too short for the alternative. When you reach my age, you understand that life loops and that people from your past re-enter your life at the most unexpected of times. I can't control what everyone thinks of me, but I can consciously stick to my standard of respectful and honest behaviour towards everyone I encounter, which gives me the peace of mind I need.

We've just started a long weekend, with Monday 9 August being National Women's Day in South Africa. After a few months of not having my mom stay at my place, I picked her up yesterday for the weekend. She lives with my sister, who's been her caregiver since the end of June 2012, when my mom could no longer live independently. 

My focus for the weekend will be on enjoying the time with my mom. I also need to keep working through my two lists, as well as continue with all my other responsibilities. My hobbies keep me connected to my essential self, so I find time to do my Trudy things, which I tick off on my daily habit tracker - the things from which I  derive a sense of balance. 

It's Day 499 of South Africa's Covid-related lockdown. We're experiencing our 3rd wave of Covid-19, with recent daily mortality stats exceeding 400, and sometimes 500. Almost every day, a Facebook friend posts about a loved one who's succumbed to the virus. It's tragic! What's even worse is how others continue to behave as though the pandemic's over, taking risks in both their personal and professional lives. And don't get me started on the anti-vaxers! Last year, before there was a vaccine, we feared it would take years to be developed. This year, we live in  a world that has multiple versions of the vaccine, I live in a country that is steadily vaccinating its population, and we have people staging a public protest against the existence of the virus and the illegitimacy of being expected to vaccinated.  I'm particularly disgusted at religious leaders who've wielded their influence beyond matters spiritual and convinced their followers that the vaccine should be spurned because it's somehow unholy. I just have to say it: WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?! 

Rant over. The point is, no matter what's happening in your life right now, we're all still living through a pandemic that has killed more than 4 million people around the world. And let's be clear - those are the reported Covid deaths. Statisticians have proof that the number of excess deaths, worldwide, suggest much higher Covid mortalities.  

I want to conclude with three things that I think are really important:

- Do whatever you can to help your country - and, by implication, the world - to get beyond a lockdown situation. In other words, get vaccinated and keep observing the safety protocols. If we all did so, we'd be able to steadily restore and rebuild.     

- Be compassionate, because no two people are experiencing this pandemic in the same way. You might be coping by pretending there is no pandemic, but you have no right to impose your denial on others. This is a time for flexibility - for exploring alternative ways of achieving outcomes. 

- We can't go back to how life used to be. The pandemic has brought into full view the extent of poverty and deprivation experienced by millions living in South Africa. And while smug, historically-privileged people are heard saying ignorant things like, "Well, everything's equal now, so if anyone in this county is poor, it's because they're just lazy!", the reasons for the status quo are clear to thinking people. We have a long road ahead. It's not going to be easy, but it's not impossible for our government to embark on a programme of rebuilding this country with a focus on eradicating the levels of unemployment and poverty we currently have. They've found money for lavish, unnecessary things - now they can find the money to implement a basic income grant of about R2,000  and to embark on public works programmes that will create sustainable jobs, to enable everyone in this country to live with dignity. 

And I might as well say it again, because this is my blog and I can write whatever I like - only with a system of Socialism will we sort this country out. One of the reasons our current government is failing is that it's still steeped in Captalism, with its focus on enriching the few while the millions starve. It's unsustainable. Capitalism always has been, and always will be, anti-poor. We can't maintain the current system and hope to eradicate  poverty. 

To mis-quote a line from my song, In The Shade of Table Mountain: "I somehow doubt it will happen in  my lifetime." 

                                              Covid-19 statistics for Friday 6 August 2021