Written 28 September 2012
Breaking up day! Can’t believe it’s been
only two months since I started working at the high school I’m at. What a
journey it’s been, and I’m only halfway through my contract. I started out enthusiastically,
idealistically believing that somehow the universe had sent me there for some
greater purpose that would be revealed to me. What can I say? I’m a
singer-songwriter – nothing’s ever straight-forward; the contract teaching
post, after four months of unemployment, was never going to be just a job. I really
felt (and still do) that the universe had started turning things around for me,
because I’d been through so much in the past two years.
On Day 1, I did an introductory talk to all
of the classes I met, telling them about my background as an educator, giving a
bit of a pep talk, eliciting from them their understanding of the roles of
educators and learners, and laying down ground rules for our times together. I
have to smile now, when I think about how quietly they all listened and how
impressed I was with their behaviour. There was one class, however, which let
me know - in no uncertain terms – that they didn’t do well with rules. Two months
later, I fully understand what they meant! J Interestingly enough, that’s the class I’ve had my most bizarre
experiences with. And probably the class I’ve grown to love the most. (Oh,
Trudy – you’re so intense! Heehee – how many times have I heard that?)
By Day 2, I started to realise how naïve
I’d been the day before; these kids were not used to my approach, and I had not
been in a high school teaching post for 5 years, so I had honestly forgotten
what the dynamics were. My most recent teaching experience, which ended in
March this year, had been at an FET (Further Education and Training) college,
teaching adults. That was a walk in the park, compared to what I found myself
faced with at high school.
Yes, I’m an idealist. I’m also a born
teacher. And I love teaching. I love teaching English, and I know I’m an
effective teacher who can make a difference in the lives of my students. So,
armed with that set of beliefs about myself, imagine what a crushing experience
it was to find that the children in my classes weren’t interested in either
English or me! Haha! So much for my lofty ideal of “making a contribution to
the new South Africa
by empowering historically- disadvantaged people through the teaching of
English”. Yup – that’s one of my life’s goals. Like I said, I’m an idealist. I
really wouldn’t know how to live without ideals. Imagine waking up every
morning with nothing to look forward to. Reminds me of my last relationship.
But, I digress.
I think I spent the first two to three
weeks feeling like a fish out of water, doing a daily countdown, and praying
that I would survive. Then, somewhere along the way - I’m not sure when, how or
why - I felt like, somewhere inside of me, an ON switch had been flipped. I
started feeling different about school, about the children, what I was there to
do and how I would do it. I promised myself that, no matter what, I would
always be true to myself, sticking to my values and principles. My best
friend’s words echoed in my head: Make your own magic.
Everything moves very fast, at a high
school. Just as I’d started to enjoy being at the school and to find my groove
with the discipline issue, we hit exams. Setting of question papers and memos,
followed by the actual exam period – two weeks of a completely different
system, classes split up and learners spread throughout the school, and, worst
of all, no teaching! Two weeks of getting used to that and then the schlep of
markingmarkingmarkingmarking……! Then - reports, remarks, learners fetching
their reports on the last day, teachers exhaustedly taking their leave of each
other before the brief, one-week school holiday…..and then……nothing. No
end-of-term staff lunch or tea, just me walking to my car, confused,
disappointed. Anticlimax.
After a 4-day period in which I’d had a
total of 8 hours’ sleep (marking!), I made my way home, had something to eat,
lay down on my bed, and slept. There’s something so primal about being
sleep-deprived; nothing that money can buy can give you what you need– you just
need to lie down somewhere, close your eyes, and slip into that mysterious,
all-forgiving world. And this is what I did. I slept until my exhaustion had
cleared, woke up a few hours later, and felt so much better.
We have a one-week break, and then it’s
back to school for the last term. My contract expires at the end of November
and at the moment I don’t have a job lined up for December or next year. I know
about five available English teaching posts, though, and over the next few days
I’ll be focussing on submitting my applications.
But how’s this for a dilemma: the FET sector,
where I’d work as a lecturer, with older students, in a far more relaxed and progressive
environment, where there’s a more enlightened approach to post-apartheid education
and strict adherence to the laws governing educator conduct (e.g. no lecturer at
a college would EVER cross the line and abuse a student verbally or physically),
would pay me a salary that’s much lower than what I’d earn at a primary or high
school. Why? Because the college sector, even though part of the same education
department (WCED), does not acknowledge my teaching experience outside of the
sector. So I get paid as an entry-level educator when I lecture at a college!
It makes no sense to me – all my experience contributes to the quality of my
performance in the workplace. In fact, having worked in so many contexts – primary
school, high school and the TEFL industry, not to mention the different roles I’ve played in those contexts – makes
me a more well-rounded educator than someone who has only ever taught at a
college. But this is the system. One which needs to be revised.
Having said as much, the decision I had to
make, related to the coming week (college due date for applications is in 6
days’ time), was relatively easy, because I need a job! I will apply for the three English posts I’ve seen advertised at the
college I worked at before. One of them particularly interests me, because it entails
diagnosing students’ language problems, then designing and teaching a
tailor-made programme aimed at addressing those problems. The concept arose
after lecturers had identified that, across the board, the students’ level of
English was extremely poor and that some kind of intervention was needed; it is
believed that this would impact on, and improve, their overall academic
performance.
At the moment, there are three college
posts I know about and two high school posts, ironically both at single-sex
(girls’) schools. Why do I say ironically? I don’t believe that single-sex
education has any relevance in today’s world. Especially in a society like
ours, so much needs to be done to level the inequalities between the genders
and to educate people about gender-appropriate behaviour. During apartheid, we
rejected the notion that separate could ever mean equal, and I have the same
attitude towards gender separation. Why separate learners while they’re being
educated? The argument is that, if you remove the other gender, you remove the
distraction, and the education process can take place more successfully. Well,
we live in a world with two genders, and education is supposed to prepare you
for the real world. Anyone who thinks it’s more important to leave high school
with high grades and a skewed impression of the world (after years of being
deprived of normal, everyday interaction with the other gender) needs to wake
up – this is the 21st century, we live in a democracy where gender
issues are high on the agenda and our young people need to be educated in an
environment that prepares them to take their place in society.
I’ve seen it in so many people I know who
attended single-sex schools – there’s an unrealistic, romanticised element to
the way they interact with the opposite sex. Besides, single-sex education was
conceptualised in an era where it was accepted that women were not as
intelligent as men, and that boys and girls needed to be educated separately,
as they were destined to fulfil very different roles in society. It is as
offensive a concept as Hendrik Verwoerd’s (the father of apartheid) proclaiming
that Blacks did not need to learn Mathematics, as they were only destined to become
manual labourers. Many of the education-related problems we have in our
township schools today are linked to the inferior education most of our black
teachers received.
Separate is not equal –it never has been,
and never will be. Boys and girls need to be educated together. They need to
learn, from as early an age as possible, how to share the world with each other.
So…..maybe I don’t have a dilemma after all!
The fact that single-sex institutions are usually faith-based adds another
layer to this matter. Do schools have a right to question your religious
affiliation in a job interview? I love the way the advertisements are worded:
it’s always something like, “Strict compliance with the Catholic ethos would be
expected from the incumbent.” I’d stick out like a sore thumb. Haha! And what
would I say to the girls about contraception, were the topic to come up?
Hmmmm…...!
This decision is a very personal one, and
has to be made for all the reasons that inform my life and my circumstances. I
need to believe in what I’m doing for a living - the specifics have to align
with my world view and value system. I want a job that offers me security (right
now, merely being employed does that), a level of convenience (I don’t want to
spend two hours in peak-hour traffic twice a day) and a salary that enables me
to look after my family properly. I’ve been a single parent for twelve years,
and have had to run a household on just one salary – a VERY different reality
to a two-income family. Oh, the list of criteria for my dream job is long, but
right now I’m not even thinking ‘dream’ job – just JOB. Maybe I’ve lowered my
sights, but you try being unemployed and then tell me it doesn’t seriously dent
your expectations in some way.
On the topic of dreams, however (she added,
irrepressibly): there’s one school in the southern suburbs that I’d love to
teach at – Claremont High. It opened last year, so the newness attracts me. What
also fascinates me about it is that Westerford High, one of the best-run public
schools in the country, was approached by the WCED to set up the systems at the
school. I like the fact that there wouldn’t be people on the staff who’ve been
there for thirty years. It’s quite something being the new teacher, but dealing
with certain staff dynamics is something I wouldn’t mind skipping altogether.
My children attend Westerford, which is about three kilometres from Claremont
High, so the logistics would be a breeze. I look at it this way: there’s so
much in life that’s inherently stressful, that anytime I’m faced with a
decision, I consciously factor in the avoidance of additional stress.
I often find that writing as I do –
basically, rambling on – helps me sort out the clutter in my head. Well, it’s
happened again.
It’s time to be proactive.
Repeat after me:
I create karma by the choices I make.
I create karma by the choices I make.
I create KARMA
by the CHOICES
I make.
