The day of Aunty Joyce's funeral

There are two things I miss a lot, each of which adds a dimension to my life that opens up a myriad of possibilities: having internet access at home, and swimming.

Today is Thursday 22 September. The significance of this date is varied – it’s the date on which my parents got married in 1956, but it’s also the day we said our final farewell to an aunt, my late dad’s cousin, Joyce Ronnie (nee Rushin). She passed away on Sunday 18 September, and the funeral was today. She’d been a stalwart of the Methodist Church in Surrey Estate, in the broader Athlone area of Cape Town. She and her late husband, Edwin, had been a formidable couple, practising their Christian faith in the most practical of ways.

But that’s not what I remember about Aunty Joyce and Uncle Edwin – I remember how happy they were in each other’s company. Unlike many men I’ve encountered, Uncle Edwin always treated his wife with respect, and there was no mistaking the love he had for her. Similarly, she beamed when she was with him, and it was clear he was her soul mate, her partner of choice, the love of her life. More than that, they shared an ability to live life to the full and to do so with a good dose of humour. Their sons - Derek, Roger and Donny – are three really nice guys, and they carry in their genes the wonderful attributes of their amazing parents.

I was privileged to have been at Aunty Joyce’s final birthday celebration, in June this year, when she turned 79. She took a break from the home where she lived, in order to be at Derek’s house, where a tea party was held in her honour. I was moved, that day, when a relative, Charles Rushin, paid tribute to her in a speech. He made a point of saying that people always waited till someone died before saying what a wonderful person he/she had been, but he wanted to say TO Joyce (they were cousins) how special she was to him and to everyone present. She sat on the couch, quietly taking it all in, smiling in her sweet, dignified way. We all knew that she was, in fact, gravely ill – her severe weight loss bore testimony to this – and I think everyone felt, that day, that it could well be her last birthday. And so it was.

Interesting how someone’s death ends up bringing family and friends together. I saw so many people I hadn’t seen in years!