Written 02 July 2012
Another busy day, but unlike any other day in many respects. My first thoughts, on waking, were of my mom, and I think that’s going to be with me for a while. Day 1 with mom living a few suburbs away. Very different energy without her close by. So it was a new day, a new month and a whole new phase for us all. Filled my car’s boot and backseat with recycling and other things, and took a drive to the dump. Always feels good to do that kind of thing, especially when it means I’m creating space at home.
So, as I promised myself, I sorted out the lounge to the point where I can comfortably have my lessons there tomorrow. My students will be surprised to see the piano! As a child, I got used to having a piano around, and I also had one in the house when I was married, and now I realise how having a piano in the house makes it feel “right”, somehow – like a home.
Just watched the movie, “Legends of the Fall”, with Brad Pitt and Anthony Hopkins. I have seen it probably eight times by now, and I never tire of it; it’s a strong story, with strong actors, and the setting is spectacular. I find the characters convincing and the many twists and turns in the story dramatic, but highly credible, even true to life.
I cut my left hand on a piece of broken glass, today, and this evening, when I picked up my guitar to play, I realised the cut was on a part of my hand that made contact with the guitar. Ouch! Also, I’ll have to get myself some rubber gloves for the laundry. I’m normally very careful with my hands, but today this pointed piece of broken glass took me by surprise, piercing my skin before I’d seen it.
Almost 2a.m. Can’t sleep. I should try winding down now. Early rise tomorrow, for English tutoring session.
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I recently heard the term, “mommy bloggers”, and I wondered if I fell into that category. What is a mommy blogger? And why does it sound so deprecating? Are mommy bloggers less “legit”?!
All of a sudden, I’m extremely tired. Yawwwwwn!
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Wednesday, 18 July 2012
Written 01 July 2012
Seems like Sunday morning, once again, is the best time for me to blog.
Today I’m feeling ALL the effects of my mother’s move from the granny flat on our premises. I’ve spent the past two days packing up my mother’s belongings and cleaning the flatlet, as well as handling the logistics of the three different people who physically moved the furniture: my brother- in-law moved some of the things, a moving company moved others (into my house) and an old age home fetched the balance, which my mom donated.
Today, my body’s sore (in places I didn’t even know I had muscles) from the physicality of the past two days, and my sinuses are crazy from the dust. The next phase of the move started straight after my mom left with my sis and her husband, as my children and I moved furniture and boxes around in our lounge, to get it to its new configuration. I wish I could take the next week to sort that out, but I teach guitar lessons there, so I have to make it as organised as I can by the time I go to bed tonight!
Other, less visible, effects are, of course, the huge emotional aspects of this kind of change. My mom’s been here for 5 years, and she’s been part of our household, a constant in my life. The difference between how she was when she moved in (strong, confident, sassy, independent, bright, cheerful, in control, funny) and how she is now (timid, withdrawn, over-apologetic, fearful, frustrated by her memory-related confusion), is striking. I’ve come face to face with issues about life and ageing that I’d never seen from close-up before. It changes you, makes you more compassionate, more appreciative of the faculties you still have. As my relationship with her assumes its new context, I have an ongoing responsibility to be loving and consistent, considerate and patient. As I buzz through my own activities, stressing my way from day to day, it’s not always easy to shift gears, slow down and be totally in the moment. But it’s not impossible.
I went into my kitchen to make a cup of tea, now, but there are so many boxes all over, I changed my mind! Today I have to make a few trips to the dump, to take away recycling and other stuff. It will clear floor space that’s now too cluttered for normal life to take place, and it will help me recreate a semblance of order. I have to add, though: anyone who’s ever been into my home, knows that calling it “order” is a real stretch of the imagination! But I think my mom’s move has taught me quite a few lessons about how I’ve been living and how I’d prefer to live, from now on.
I’ve always accepted (on some level) that physical clutter was a reflection of emotional/psychological issues, and this experience – my mom’s move – has made me realise not only how true this is, but also how labour-intensive it is to undo! The process of changing all of this has most definitely begun, for us as a little family. My children needed to reconfigure their bedrooms, as they both acquired furniture from my mom. In the process, they got rid of other items and did major uncluttering of their space. My son emptied a huge trunk of toys that had been in his room since we moved here, 15 years ago. Believe me, that’s been on his “To Do” list for at least 5 years! I suppose children take their cues from the adults around them. If your parent is a hoarder, you unconsciously emulate that. It was interesting to watch them, over the past two days, as they planned the new layouts of their rooms and then brought their ideas into reality. Very cool. I’m so proud of those two. This is the first time I’ve experienced this kind of thing with them being old enough to do their own planning and executing, so it was fascinating to watch them at work. I look forward to the day that financial constraints don’t limit us every step of the way, and that we can exercise our creativity with more fun, more options.
And so I proceed into the new day. Another rainy day, I might add. Good for the garden and typical of this time of the year for us (July’s our rainiest month), but not what I need as I consider the next mountain of family laundry waiting - just for me. Have I mentioned that I hate housework, especially laundry? You know what I hate the most about washing by hand? Washing socks! My children (and all their friends) have a habit of walking around in their socks, without shoes – so you can imagine what the socks look like afterwards! I keep threatening to make them wash their own socks, but I never act on it. Like any normal mother, my fervent prayer is simply this: that they’ll one day have their own children who do the same to them. :-)
My life feels both crazier than ever and like it’s about to start getting better – hard to explain. I have some health issues to check out at the doctor – seems like prolonged stress is taking its toll. At the same time – isn’t this a typical Trudy story - I have a recording studio appointment for next week, when I’ll record four of my own songs! A dream come true, made possible only through the generosity of a benefactor, a friend who believes in me. How cool is that?!
As I sit in bed now, sinuses amok, eyes itching, body aching and entire being flooded with the emotions of the family changes, the idea of even BEING in a studio, let alone RECORDING my work with one of my favourite musicians and one of the best sound guys in our country seems unreal. And yet, as I continue to sort out my house over the next week (let’s be honest, it will take at least that long!), I’ll also have to factor in daily practice sessions, as I prepare to record.
So…..as usual…..never a dull moment…..life goes on…..until the next instalment. :-)
Today I’m feeling ALL the effects of my mother’s move from the granny flat on our premises. I’ve spent the past two days packing up my mother’s belongings and cleaning the flatlet, as well as handling the logistics of the three different people who physically moved the furniture: my brother- in-law moved some of the things, a moving company moved others (into my house) and an old age home fetched the balance, which my mom donated.
Today, my body’s sore (in places I didn’t even know I had muscles) from the physicality of the past two days, and my sinuses are crazy from the dust. The next phase of the move started straight after my mom left with my sis and her husband, as my children and I moved furniture and boxes around in our lounge, to get it to its new configuration. I wish I could take the next week to sort that out, but I teach guitar lessons there, so I have to make it as organised as I can by the time I go to bed tonight!
Other, less visible, effects are, of course, the huge emotional aspects of this kind of change. My mom’s been here for 5 years, and she’s been part of our household, a constant in my life. The difference between how she was when she moved in (strong, confident, sassy, independent, bright, cheerful, in control, funny) and how she is now (timid, withdrawn, over-apologetic, fearful, frustrated by her memory-related confusion), is striking. I’ve come face to face with issues about life and ageing that I’d never seen from close-up before. It changes you, makes you more compassionate, more appreciative of the faculties you still have. As my relationship with her assumes its new context, I have an ongoing responsibility to be loving and consistent, considerate and patient. As I buzz through my own activities, stressing my way from day to day, it’s not always easy to shift gears, slow down and be totally in the moment. But it’s not impossible.
I went into my kitchen to make a cup of tea, now, but there are so many boxes all over, I changed my mind! Today I have to make a few trips to the dump, to take away recycling and other stuff. It will clear floor space that’s now too cluttered for normal life to take place, and it will help me recreate a semblance of order. I have to add, though: anyone who’s ever been into my home, knows that calling it “order” is a real stretch of the imagination! But I think my mom’s move has taught me quite a few lessons about how I’ve been living and how I’d prefer to live, from now on.
I’ve always accepted (on some level) that physical clutter was a reflection of emotional/psychological issues, and this experience – my mom’s move – has made me realise not only how true this is, but also how labour-intensive it is to undo! The process of changing all of this has most definitely begun, for us as a little family. My children needed to reconfigure their bedrooms, as they both acquired furniture from my mom. In the process, they got rid of other items and did major uncluttering of their space. My son emptied a huge trunk of toys that had been in his room since we moved here, 15 years ago. Believe me, that’s been on his “To Do” list for at least 5 years! I suppose children take their cues from the adults around them. If your parent is a hoarder, you unconsciously emulate that. It was interesting to watch them, over the past two days, as they planned the new layouts of their rooms and then brought their ideas into reality. Very cool. I’m so proud of those two. This is the first time I’ve experienced this kind of thing with them being old enough to do their own planning and executing, so it was fascinating to watch them at work. I look forward to the day that financial constraints don’t limit us every step of the way, and that we can exercise our creativity with more fun, more options.
And so I proceed into the new day. Another rainy day, I might add. Good for the garden and typical of this time of the year for us (July’s our rainiest month), but not what I need as I consider the next mountain of family laundry waiting - just for me. Have I mentioned that I hate housework, especially laundry? You know what I hate the most about washing by hand? Washing socks! My children (and all their friends) have a habit of walking around in their socks, without shoes – so you can imagine what the socks look like afterwards! I keep threatening to make them wash their own socks, but I never act on it. Like any normal mother, my fervent prayer is simply this: that they’ll one day have their own children who do the same to them. :-)
My life feels both crazier than ever and like it’s about to start getting better – hard to explain. I have some health issues to check out at the doctor – seems like prolonged stress is taking its toll. At the same time – isn’t this a typical Trudy story - I have a recording studio appointment for next week, when I’ll record four of my own songs! A dream come true, made possible only through the generosity of a benefactor, a friend who believes in me. How cool is that?!
As I sit in bed now, sinuses amok, eyes itching, body aching and entire being flooded with the emotions of the family changes, the idea of even BEING in a studio, let alone RECORDING my work with one of my favourite musicians and one of the best sound guys in our country seems unreal. And yet, as I continue to sort out my house over the next week (let’s be honest, it will take at least that long!), I’ll also have to factor in daily practice sessions, as I prepare to record.
So…..as usual…..never a dull moment…..life goes on…..until the next instalment. :-)
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