In 2012, when I was dealing with being unemployed (after being retrenched in 2010, and struggling to find the kind of job I wanted -viz. in philanthropy, and not a govt teaching post), I wrote a song called The Land of No Smiles. I realised that, no matter what I was going through (my mom was diagnosed with Amnestic Syndrome, that year), I'd always be smiling, when around people. Many of them had no idea of the challenges I was dealing with; being unemployed petrified me, because my ex-husband was always looking for an excuse to declare me an unfit mother.
But there was one thing that kept me anchored, no matter what was happening in my life, and that was playing my guitar. I'm not a great guitarist - I could probably play to save my life (depending on the standards of my captors!) - but playing my guitar and writing songs are my sanity bringers. So I wrote a song called The Land of No Smiles. For many reasons, this is the song that comes to mind today.
You might be surprised
To know how very low my spirit goes
Living in The Land of No Smiles
Pick up my guitar
Feel the magic draw me in
And place me on a cloud
Floating in The Land of No Smiles
Sometimes it's a major key that wraps its arms around me
Chords I've known for years and years
And quite a few that are brand new
But it's a minor key
Usually it's a minor key
I feel so diminished, wish someone would augment me
You might be surprised
You might be surprised
Sometimes there's no ground beneath my feet
Living in The Land of No Smiles
You might be surprised
I have to remind my heart to beat
Living in The Land of No Smiles
But I've found a way to make it all go away
Play guitar till my arms get sore
And then I play a little more
But I am so suspended
I'm tired of being suspended
Don't wanna be sharp or flat
I just wanna be natural
You might be surprised
You might be surprised
You might be surprised
You might be surprised
I hope to record this song, one day, with a really cool band - people who know my heart and feel my spirit.
People say I'm always smiling.
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