"If there's music inside of you, you've got to let it out." (From my song, Music Inside of Me)

Hi! I'm Trudy Rushin, and this is my blog, created in June 2009. I am a singer-songwriter-composer who plays guitar. Born and bred in Cape Town, South Africa, I blog about whatever captures my imagination or moves me. Sometimes I even come up with what I like to call 'the Rushin Solution'. Enjoy my random rantings. Comment, if you like,
or find me on Facebook: Trudy Rushin, Singer-Songwriter.

I also do gigs - solo, duo or trio - so if you're looking for vocal-guitar jazz music to add a sprinkle of magic to your event, send me an e-mail to guitartrudy@gmail.com.

To listen to me singing one or two of my original songs, type my name on www.soundcloud.com or www.youtube.com


















Sunday, 17 November 2019

'"Clarity is power"


When I think of 2019, I think of it as a year in which I gained a lot of clarity, continuing the journey of liberating myself.

This year, a few friendships – some old and some new – showed some disturbing aspects, causing me to reflect deeply on whether they’d be part of my future or not. Some decisions were easier than others. All I knew was that, if a friendship reached the stage where I felt I had to think ten times before I said anything (lest I offend the person) and where I was always treading on eggshells, to avoid another ‘episode’, I needed to see the situation for what it was, uncomplicate my life, and make a clean break. In general, I reach that stage only after giving people numerous chances.

Another type of behaviour I decided I would no longer make excuses for was deceit of any kind, underhandedness and that awful way in which people manipulate others – often with a smile – and then twist the story and act the victim when you call them out. Everyone has their limits – I’m getting better at identifying when I’ve reached mine. And I don’t stay trapped in indecision for as long as I used to. It’s about honouring oneself. I think many women can relate to how difficult it is to honour ourselves in relationships, both romantic and platonic.

 The hardest part used to be fretting about what people would say about me, once I’d drawn my line in the sand. And this is the most striking part of this year – I actually don’t care anymore. I don’t invest in anything anyone may say after I’ve taken a stand. If I take a stand, on a matter of principle, I do so after a lot of introspection and with self-knowledge. What comes with that state of mind is an acute sense of peace with the consequences.  I suspect it’s part of the ageing process. Why would I want to waste precious time thinking about what toxic people think about me? I have better things to occupy my mind. I have an interesting life to live.

And that’s another fascinating part of this year – every time I have walked away from something or someone, I have created space in my life for new energy. Not necessarily new people, because what’s also become clear to me is that I really don’t like socialising. I can’t stand small talk. I love spending time with my special friends on a one-on-one basis, where we really connect. I don’t need hundreds of friends – just a few genuine, down-to-earth, no-frills, in-touch-with-themselves people. 

Both my day job and my music life put me in contact with lots of people. To regain my balance, I need a lot of alone time, where I get to just be myself, by myself - where I’m free.  

And that’s been another interesting part of this year of increasing clarity – being more comfortable with my quirks and authenticity. I actually don’t have to subscribe to what anyone else thinks I should be. I already am a whole person, with an established set of values, my own style, my own story, my own skills and talents, my own struggles and my own victories. What we miss, when we try to mainstream everyone, ridiculing those who don’t follow the herd, is the beauty of diversity.

I don’t need my family and friends to be exactly like me – oh hell, no! I just need them to afford me the space to be who I am.  It’s called respect. And its magic is that it’s contagious. Whenever I’ve spent time with someone and I leave the encounter feeling either serene or excited about life, I know that that person is part of my ‘tribe’, and I’ll cherish that friendship. The converse is also true – if I find someone’s company draining, frustrating and hard work, I can’t wait to get away, which is the kind of clarity I choose not to ignore anymore.

In the book, The Secret, one of the writers says, “Trust what you’re attracted to.“ I’m getting better at it.  

But something written by another contributor to that fascinating book has become a powerful mantra for me and something I've started applying to every part of my life: “Clarity is power.”


                                                             Hout Bay / October 2018

WRITTEN ON MONDAY, 5 AUGUST 2019

It's been a while. Decided to use 15 minutes of my lunch break to get some thoughts down, as I dream of doing every day.

Life has been busy and life has been challenging. At the same time, life has been wonderful and has opened up some beautiful opportunities.

On 18 May, I started 100 days of manifesting some goals. Inspired by motivational speakers (especially Modern health Monk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1cq--MYOINI), I set 6 goals that I would focus on for 100 days.

Today is Day 80.

ModernHealthMonk says he did 4 things:
1. Ask the universe for what you want (at the start of every day).
2. Listen to your intuition and journal to keep track of your intuitive messages/ideas.
3. Surrender any negative emotions (fear, self-doubt, anger.....)
4. Do only the things that excite you (as far as possible)

He set 4 goals, and achieved all of them!

I'm combining what I've learnt about manifesting with all the other related bits of advice I've picked up over the years.

For example, reaching your goals has two important aspects:
1. believing you can achieve the goal (I'm good at this thinking and planning part)
2. taking the steps towards achieving the goal (I suck at this! )

Well, 80 days into the 100 days, I can't imagine not doing the manifesting. Have I missed any days? Yes, I have: here and there, when my day's been crazy and my routine has been compromised, I've flopped into bed at night, exhausted, and woken up the next morning realising I hadn't done my manifesting.

But what's different about the present Trudy and the past Trudy is that when I don't achieve something 100%, I don't berate myself, feel like a failure and quit. I carry on. I give myself credit for what I have achieved, and carry on. Partly because I'm really keen to get to the destination, but also because I'm super-curious about how that will feel. I think that the more experience I gain at staying the distance, the less likely I'm ever going to give up again.


                                                 Kromme Rhee, in Stellenbosch / August 2019