My month has finally arrived! No matter how old I get, my birthday month will always feel like an exciting new beginning, to me.
For us, in the southern
hemisphere, it’s the end of winter and the start of spring (only on the 23rd,
as I’ve been reminded all morning, on Facebook), which in itself is a huge
relief and cause for celebration. I think our winters are getting colder every
year. The uncomfortable part is that our houses weren’t built with that in
mind, so we shiver as much indoors as we do out.
So much has happened since I last
blogged. I journal every day, so I feel like I’ve already written about it, but
of course that’s my private writing.
But before I write about the new
energy (and project), I want to briefly write about what was happening in my
life one year ago. On 1 September 2021, my daughter and I took a road trip to a
coastal town called Onrus (127km away), where we stayed in a self-catering Airbnb for two
nights. She had her learner’s license at that stage, but drove both ways – one,
inland, and the other, right at the sea. My nerves, as we drove back!! It was
one of those winding roads with a sheer drop to the sea. And it was raining! I
think I clenched my fists for the entire drive. But she was a confident driver by then, so she handled it calmly,
and enjoyed the experience. Two months later, she passed her driver’s test at
her first attempt. That whole journey (her learning to drive) merits its own
blog post. 😄
Our little getaway came
immediately after I’d left a job after five and a half years. When the company informed
us of yet another wave of retrenchment, I initially feared I'd be selected, but then decided it was actually a good time to leave – for many
reasons – and voluntarily placed my name on the list. I could have taken a
plane trip somewhere and indulged in an expensive holiday, but I had to think
ahead – I’d left a job without having lined up a new one, and my retrenchment
money needed to sustain us for a few months.
The trip we took satisfied my need to be in a fresh location, near the
sea, and spending that kind of time with my adult daughter was invaluable. We had fun, and we often talk about doing another one, when
the time is right.
So where will we go this year? Actually
nowhere, for now. In the first week of August this year, I suddenly became
unemployed. Again! Very different circumstances, this time. I had been doing part-time work on a project for which I had not
signed a contract. I found myself dealing with toxic communication, I kept requesting
that it be addressed, and eventually I felt so disrespected that I offered to
leave upon submission of my next invoice. I was told I could leave immediately.
Many lessons learnt. I let myself down by entering into a verbal agreement, and
not insisting on a contract, but I honoured myself by refusing to be silent.
I’ve lived through enough - as a person of colour, as a woman, and as an
employee in different spaces, both civil and corporate – to recognise abuse of
power when I see it, and I refuse to sacrifice my mental and physical health
for any entity that does not afford me basic respect.
A NEW CHAPTER
While I have not found a new “day
job” yet (high on the priority list), I am about to start a very exciting phase of my music life. In a few
days’ time, I will be doing my first One-Hour Solo Session, in which I will sing
a selection of my original songs and share the stories behind the songs. This
is something I’ve thought about, on and off, for years, but there’s always been
some reason or other that I’ve put it off. Actually, just one reason –
complete, numbing fear. This despite all my years of performing, initially as a
soloist, then in bands, and then, for the past 19 years, mainly in duos.
In recent months, however, as
I’ve found myself dealing with other shifts, I started feeling that the time
was right to take this next step in my music life: to do solo
performances of my own work, in interesting, intimate venues.
And so I started putting my
concept together – first in my journalling sessions, and then talking to my
confidantes. Even though the concept was so simple and one of my obvious next
steps, I was still tentative when I started putting it into words.
And then I found myself being
interviewed at a bookshop, and I found myself having a conversation about performing there, as part of their Women’s Month (August) programme.
At that stage, I became so obsessed
with the idea, that I sprang into action like I hadn’t done (for myself) for a
long time! I’ve been contacting and visiting venues, and starting to clarify my
concept. I’ve had two distinct no’s and one hiring quotation that was above my
current budget. My budget, by the way, is exactly what it was for the June
concert I put on, with three other musicians – ZERO! I have plans to get
funding for future concerts, but for now I am completely dependent on ticket
sales to pay all service providers and earn a moderate gig fee.
I am over the moon about doing my first Solo Session at
Surplus Books, in Woodstock. It seats 30, which is perfect for what I had in
mind. I have André Manuel (Dala Flat Music) doing my sound, which gives me
complete peace of mind. André has liked my compositions and believed in me
since 2004, when I met up with him and his wife, Chantel Erfort, at Off Moroka,
where I had a weekly gig with guitarist, Keith Tabisher and bassist, Donald Gain.
Shoo, that was many moons ago! (Even further, as I was Chantel's Grade 1 teacher!)
So what happened to the August performance? I caught a cold
and had to postpone the session! I managed to get a new date for this coming
Sunday, 4 September, and I cannot wait!!! Fortunately, most of the people
retained their bookings, so I have just a few tickets left.
Today I am giving myself a break, staying in bed for as long
as I can, drinking soothing and healing warm drinks, with fresh ginger, lemon
and honey, and just resting. With the first Solo Session in just three days, I
want to be as calm and focussed as possible.
With a few more Solo Sessions confirmed for this year, I start advertising
my second one on Monday. This one is in a completely different type of
venue, with a completely different vibe. I'm very excited!
AND THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I WANT TO DO WITH MY LIFE: SING MY
OWN SONGS, PLAY MY GUITAR AND TELL MY STORIES, TO LISTENING AUDIENCES, IN
INTERESTING & INTIMATE SETTINGS.
Alongside this plan/goal/dream, are a few related projects, on
which I’ve already started working. Basically, by 1 September 2023, my WHOLE life will
have changed.
I turn 61 in 9 days – I owe it to myself to live the life of my choice, and to do so in a way that allows me to share the songs I’ve spent the past 44 years writing.
Peace 💜
No comments:
Post a Comment
You are welcome to place a comment here.