It's Monday, 30 December, and today has been a rainy day. I was going to do a forest walk with a friend, but decided against it when the weather became wet and unpleasant. As a dog owner who walks her dog twice daily, she wasn't letting the weather deter her, though.
I'm just over halfway into my 4-week school holiday, and it's been a really good break, thus far. Around the "Big Days", I spent quality time with family and a few friends. I do have a list, though, so there are still a few more I plan to hang out with before the school year starts. I am not a big-group person, so seeing my friends in small gatherings is what I prefer - we get to talk and really listen, catching up with each other's lives. For teachers at public schools, school reopens on Monday 13 January, which is in two weeks' time. All I can do to quell the niggling sadness about the dwindling holiday is be true to myself, away from my job responsibilities. That means finding the right balance between alone time and seeing people.
I bought a set of my favourite guitar strings, so I do actually need to restring my guitar. There are a few domestic chores I still want to do before returning to school, and I know I will. Getting certain tasks done during the school term is just too unrealistic. If I've learnt anything this year, it's that Time and Energy, two of my most valuable resources, have to be expended judiciously. The alternative is weeks and weeks of feeling out of sync with myself, which negatively impacts on every part of my life.
I keep coming back to trying to focus on what the biggest deals were for me, in 2024. Everytime I think there were three, then I think of a fourth, etc.
I may have written this in my previous post, but I think the most radical changes in my life in 2024 happened on the inside. Yes, I do believe that "our inner and outer worlds are connected" (one of the Six Laws of the Mind, according to Mind Power), but I've also discovered that some of our biggest victories aren't always seen by anyone else - we're often the only ones aware of that victory. I've also come to appreciate that some of our inner changes start to manifest outwardly only after a period of time, when circumstances elicit them. For example, you're in a situation of conflict, and you take a bold step that you've never taken before. You know that, but the others involved don't necessarily know that you've stepped up in a big way, breaking a previous pattern. Another example is someone suggesting something which you think is unrealistic, but, for all the right reasons, you go out of your way to make it happen. To the observer, you're seen as just that type of person, but you know what it cost you, personally, to achieve that end result.
My biggest change, this year, was a very visible one - I moved house during the June school holidays. I've written about this extensively, I think. For six months, covering two hectic school terms, I stumbled around in limited space, banging my knees, tripping over boxes, and feeling a general sense of 'disgruntledness' in my new space, knowing things couldn't go on that way. And then the December school holidays started, all external pressure was off, and I redesigned my space, making it MUCH more pleasant to be in. In the first few days of the holiday, I got rid of things, packed others away, organised my cupboards, and gave myself another new beginning - an improvement on the one I'd given myself in June. Maybe I'll give my life a bit of a shake-up every six months? Now there's a thought.
Another important change in my life, this year, was paying my final installment on my car, after years and years! That enabled me to reallocate resources, which made a big difference to the path that I'm on towards being debt-free. I achieved it before, and I'll do so again.
While my music life took a bit of a backseat, I managed to do a coupe of performances every now and then, write a few monthly songs for my niece's baby, in the first year of his life, and be interviewed on radio recently. Soon I'll be interviewed on someone's podcast, which I'm very excited about. She's a wonderful, vibrant loose cannon, so I have no idea what to expect! :-) Tucked in between all the things in my life that I plan, structure and customise, that podcast is exactly what I need! Watch this space!
I think this year showed me how quickly a year can go by. The four school terms, roughly eleven weeks each, whizzed by like lightning. You teach for a few weeks, do a few small assessments, and then suddenly you're setting the quarterly exam. That's followed by exam time (and invigilating, which is very hard for a busy bee like me) and my least favourite part of teaching: marking! Oh my word! I wish I could outsource that! I love teaching, I love engaging with the students, but the marking.....! Hours and hours of sitting still and marking similar responses to the same questions, over and over and over again. I have an unapologetically creative brain, which craves - and thrives on - change and newness. Marking is like the universe punishing me for all the things I've ever done wrong in my 63 years on this earth. The only thing that gets me through marking, besides listening to music I love, and eating loads of snacks, is the knowledge that if I just KEEP marking, it WILL come to an end! It's insane! I seriously don't understand why, in 2024, we're not marking electronically. The wheels of change move very slowly.
This year reminded me that there's always something to learn, including about myself.
This year taught me, all over again, the importance of friends.
This year brought me full circle to the truth that when I rely on myself, I get things done.
This year showed me that not everyone operates with integrity, but that that's their journey; I simply need to remain anchored in truth.
This year brought beautiful new friends into my orbit, and I cherish these friendships.
Mostly, this year has taught me to pace myself. When I think about returning to my high school job in 2025, I feel much more prepared, because I now know what a year at school feels like, in the mid-2020s. Some people say, especially to busy, creative and ambitious women, "You can't do/have it all". I disagree. You can. You just have to pace yourself and work judiciously with your time and energy. Sometimes it does mean putting something you love aside, for a while. But it doesn't mean that you can't return to it once the immediate pressure's off. Occasionally it means rallying a team, to achieve things as part of a collective, which is not a bad lesson at all.
Yep - that's what 2024 taught me, more than anything else: to pace myself.
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