It's a beautiful November day in Cape Town. I feel rested, after a good night's sleep, and I'm aware of how much I have for which to be grateful. I love this season, as the sun is out for longer each day, and the natural beauty all around fills me with a sense of what's possible when we allow things to unfold in their own time. Yes, I'm still very self-critical, but I'm learning to focus on what is within my control, and not to berate myself about not sorting out 97 things at the same time. I pour my thoughts into my journals, and get a realistic idea of the progress I've made by reading back on past entries.
Garden
In the June school holidays, my daughter and I planted what we called a fairy garden. Strangely, the colourful pansies didn't look like they would survive, but in the September school holidays I saw them starting to perk up. The succulents we'd transplanted were thriving from the beginning, which gave me hope that other things were possible. I recently added petunias (the nursery had no more pansies), which are happily adding variety to the fairy garden. I'd planned to add little ornaments, including fairies, but those will come. I think I need to browse at markets, to pick up some inexpensive trinkets.
Goodbyes
This has been a week in which I heard of the deaths of three people I knew - a friend in my broader circle, a high school classmate, and an ex-colleague. May their souls rest in peace. I keep thinking about their loved ones, and what they must be going through right now. The death of someone you love, as inevitable as it may be, can really shake your foundation. I hope they find some comfort in sharing memories with their nearest and dearest. I'm at my least articulate when trying to sympathise with someone. I'm always scared I'm going to utter a conventional platitude that will irritate the person, rather than console.
School
We've just started our final exams for 2026, which means I'm about to do my least favourite part of teaching - marking! Fortunately, I don't have matric marking, this term, which gives me a slightly smaller load. I've already started marking, and so far so good. I look forward to late November, by which time I will have finished all my marking. This time of the year, I always feel a bit insecure because I'm on a one-year contract, and I could very possibly find myself unemployed after 31 Dec. Fortunately, it seems I am being retained for another year. Phew! I'll be honest, high school teaching is not my dream job, but I'm grateful to be employed, to be teaching subjects I enjoy, to have some cool colleagues, and to be at a school that's generally well run, with good structures in place, and a proud history of progressive politics. Besides, it's less than 3km from home, which keeps my petrol bill reasonable.
Hobbies
I haven't been as consistent as I'd like to have been with my hobbies, but the truth is that when I'm not at school, I'm in recovery mode. Sometimes I spend most of my weekend lying down and watching Netflix, with very little energy. I've barely touched my crocheting, but am trying to play my guitar more often, as that really makes me feel connected to my essential self. And you know how it goes with things you enjoy - once you start, the time just flies. I've started writing a few songs, but need more uninterrupted time and space to complete them. Or maybe they'll just join all my other half-written songs.
Connections
In our society, one of the few really safe things for women to do, when they want to connect with each other, is to go out to a restaurant and enjoy a nice meal that they didn't have to cook. I've done quite a bit of this, recently, and it's actually a fun way to experience our beautiful city, with its many restaurants, catering to different palates. I've even become perfectly comfortable with going out for a meal on my own. I know many people don't like eating alone. Do I prefer eating out with at least one other person? Of course - it adds to the feeling of celebration. But there are days when I go out for a restaurant meal by myself, usually because I don't feel like cooking supper, or I have a lot of schoolwork to do once I get home, and I don't want to have to cook a meal first. Considering I don't go to clubs and can't afford most concerts, this is my regular relaxation expense. Besides yarn. :-)
There are days when I leave school and think about taking myself out for a meal, but then I remind myself that I have everything I need at home. It feels like I've won, when I can just drive home and make something to eat. Ja, I think I'll save the solo restaurant treats for when I've had a really tough day. I'm getting good at spotting the specials, by the way.
Time to go.
I plan to go for a walk on the Sea Point Promenade, later today. I'll see how my energy is, after doing my chores and some marking.
I wish you peace.
May we know world peace in our lifetime.
One can only hope.
