Restoring my equilibrium / Wedding on a farm

Isn't it funny how times change? Something I've realised is that, as crazy as my life may seem, I need the routines that exist amid the seeming chaos. When my routines change, especially when the catalyst is external, I struggle to find my equilibrium. I'm old enough to know that 'the only constant in life is change', and to have dealt with some fairly major ones, but I still find myself feeling wobbly when faced with yet another one.

So, to cope, I find myself clinging feverishly to little routines and rituals that are still within my control; they give me a sense of continuity, of stability, something I realise I badly need.

I've also realised that, no matter how crazy my life becomes, I'll always want to be involved in musical performance. When I go for long periods without it, I start to feel like my spirit is shrivelling, like I'm losing my sense of what life's about. In contrast, when I do perform, I feel like an eagle soaring, like I could fly, fly, fly and never stop. Hard to explain. Some people call it an artistic personality, but I've seen it in people who are not artists; this is a phenomenon of people who have a burning passion. I've probably said this may times in my posts, but I really wouldn't know how to live without this passion. No matter what I go through that feels like 'Plan B' for my life, as long as I have performing opportunities, I can put up with anything.

Yesterday I sang at a wedding on a wine farm. It filled my spirit with so much joy, for so many reasons. Firstly, the statement two people make when they get married is such a huge one - that true love deserves commitment, and that life works better when we walk the journey with a partner. Secondly, there's something magical, almost other-worldly, about weddings - people dress up, the place is decorated beautifully, and it's a gathering of happy people, all there to celebrate love. What can I say? I'm a hopeless romantic. :-)

But of course I wasn't there as a guest - I was there, with guitarist Keith Tabisher, to play my guitar and sing. And that makes me happier than you could ever imagine.

Another source of delight for me was that it was held on a farm, so we had the wonderful experience of driving through farm roads and filling our lungs with clean country air. The photo attached to this post was taken as we were leaving the farm.

I dream of leaving the city and living on a farm.

One day....