54 years and one week old

One week ago, I celebrated my 54^th birthday. I commented on Facebook that I’d been raised by a mother who was always comfortable saying how old she was, and that, as a result, I’d become equally comfortable doing so. I said that, to me, age was just another biographical detail. I really do believe that your age is not what limits you, in life – if you’re passionate about something, you could continue with it well into your old age; more than that, you could even start a new pursuit, later in life.

I have about half an hour to blog, before doing my chores and school work. I really want to post a short piece on three of the new things in my life, since the beginning of this year.

Firstly, I started a regular solo gig at a local restaurant on 31 January, causing a permanent smile in my heart. I play my guitar and sing for three hours at every gig, and I love it. Getting the phone call from the owner, years after we’d met, reminded me that we actually do possess the power to attract things that give our lives meaning and magic, simply by contemplating them - fervently and persistently.  Basically, don’t give up on what makes you happy. Often, the timing can be frustrating, but just don’t give up – it will come your way. 

Secondly, I started to teach across two campuses in April, something which brought a whole new set of challenges, some easier to negotiate my way around than others. Let’s just leave it at that. We’re almost at the end of the academic year, I have no idea what next year has in store for me, but ja…! Life goes on. Many lessons learnt.

And thirdly, I started dancing on 1 May, setting myself a 100-day exercise challenge. On this blog site, you’ll find quite a few posts written during those 100 days. Now, almost halfway through my 2^nd 100 days, I can proudly say that dancing has become a regular part of my life. I started off struggling to complete my 20-minute workouts, and I’ve built up my fitness and endurance to sessions of at least 40 minutes. My goal is 60 minutes, after which I want to join a dance school/studio.

Dancing has reminded me who I am, and I love it. I am living proof that, when you do a form of exercise you love, it’s an absolute pleasure. I dance every second night, at home, to music of my choice, and I have total freedom to move as I like, without inhibition. I’ve also come to appreciate that dancing is so much more than just a form of exercise. I dance when I’m happy, and I become happier. I dance when I’m agitated, and I become calm. I dance when my heart wants to break, and I find healing.

It is something I’d recommend to anyone who feels like doing something to snap out of their inactivity. At the end of my workout, I play a slow tune, and I use it to cool down; it is such a profoundly moving piece of music (Keith Jarrett playing Some Other Time – live), that it’s become a mini-meditation for me.

At age 54, I feel like I’m steadily locating the pieces of the jigsaw puzzle that make up  my ideal life. I know for sure that most of my aspirations are not what people usually equate with success. For example, I’m more interested in making a difference in post-apartheid South Africa than I am in owning a big, shiny car. While I do need a car, my criteria have nothing to do with other people’s expectations.  

I know how to process life’s events - the exciting ones and the horrible ones - and  I know what my boundaries are. I’ve come to terms with the fact that sometimes we have to spend a few years doing something that doesn’t make our souls sing, in order to feed our families, but that, as long as we live with self-knowledge, and stay in touch with our passions, the wheel has to turn; it’s just a matter of time before you’ll be where you want to be.  

For now, that’s it. I’ve gone 5 minutes over time. Oh, that’s another thing – in my quest to have better boundaries, I’m working hard at better time management. Also, I’m getting to bed earlier, these days. AND…. I’m reading a lot more, this year! Yes!

So, life is exciting, amidst all the other crap (yes, it’s hard to avoid :) ), and I’m ready for the next year of my life. In a year’s time, I’ll be as close to 50 as to 60. Oh my word! Life goes by way too fast! I can’t waste it being unhappy.  

                  One morning this week, I was fascinated by a magical solar eclipse.