I’ve Fallen Out Of Love

Have you ever fallen out of love? I have. More than once. More than I would’ve expected in one lifetime. What I eventually noticed was that, no matter who the person was, there was a distinct pattern to how falling out of love happened.

You have this person in your life, and you get a growing feeling that the relationship is wrong for you. You break up, and you feel better. But then the person contacts you, or you bump into him somewhere, you’re both still single, you have some laughs, you’re reminded of happier times, you decide it wasn’t so bad after all, and you reconcile. Shortly afterwards, all the old toxins reappear, you regret reconciling, and you split again. This can go on for weeks, months, or even years. Until, one day, you realise you have fallen completely out of love with him.

You’re so switched off, that you can’t imagine how you could ever have wanted to be in his company, let alone be intimate with him. You do whatever you can to avoid him. You make sure you don’t go where he’s likely to be.  You might even avoid people who hang out with him. You’re so done, it takes you by surprise!

When you reach that point, there is NOTHING anyone can say or do to make you give him another chance. You are so out of love, that you’re actually nauseated by him.  In fact, you’re deeply embarrassed to have been so publicly involved with him. Regret floods your veins, and you have to work on forgiving yourself.

Because you’ve broken up a few times, your friends don’t know how to handle your latest break up, so they mumble noncommittal platitudes, just in case you get back together again.  The thing is – YOU know, in your heart, that that door is permanently closed. But THEY don’t. For them, only the passage of time will reveal how resolute you were.   

I have felt that way a few times in my life. I know that feeling. I love it. It’s the opposite of doubt, fear and uncertainty. It’s that 100% certainty that you have turned your back on something that was bad for you, and you will NEVER go back again. It’s walking away from something that was preventing you from thriving, and from living your best life. It was begrudging you your magic, cutting off your opportunities, making you function sub-optimally, and causing you to be a lot less vital and vibrant.  

Well, this is how I feel right now, and I’ve felt this way for the past 31 days: I have fallen out of love with unhealthy food. Today was Day 31 of my new lifestyle.  I weigh myself every fortnight. On Day 14, I had lost 3kg. On Day 28, I’d lost another 2,2kg. I’d lost a total of 5,2kg in four weeks, through focussing on healthy food, and avoiding all bad carbs and sugars. Unlike other diets, the 30-Day Sleekgeek Reboot programme (based on the paleo diet) does not have portion control. In these 30 days, you’re retraining your brain and body to eat clean, unprocessed, healthy food.

                                                 An attempt at an omelette - still yummy. 

I eat five meals a day (roughly every three hours), and I prepare my daytime meals the night before. After 31 days, I have my system down to a fine art.

Do you know what’s the best part? I don’t miss or crave for anything from the ‘’not allowed’’ list! I really enjoy everything I eat, and I love putting my day’s meals together the night before.  I go to work with four little plastic containers, and that’s how I get through the looooong day at work.

                                               Brekkie - scrambled eggs with fresh stuff. 

In the morning, I eat eggs or oats. Oats are not allowed, but I can’t actually handle cooked breakfasts. At about 10am, I have a handful of nuts and seeds (and some raisins/cranberries/goji berries), which surprisingly staves off the hunger till 1pm. At lunch time, I have a plate of food, which consists of some kind of protein, and a lot of salad. At 4pm, I eat a little bowl of fruit salad or sliced fruit, and at 7pm I have supper, which is always protein, a hot veg or two, and salad. Throughout the day I drink water and green tea. Occasionally, I’d have a cup of coffee.

Within the first few days, I noticed my mood was lighter, and I felt happier and far more energetic. I also felt a lot more focussed, and could feel my productivity increase. 

My goal is to lose a total of 15,7kg. I’ll be working towards that goal, for as long as it takes, with a combination of the paleo diet, drinking lots of water, a dance workout every alternate day (my stamina is increasing, so I’m dancing for longer – and loving it!!!), mental exercises to keep myself focussed on my goals, and writing throughout my journey.

I have to acknowledge a few people for starting me on this wonderful, invigorating and rejuvenating journey:

1.       Chantel Erfort, who lost 33kg last year, and radically transformed her life. She’s my inspiration! She’s been my guide for the past 30 days, and probably for a lot longer!

2.       My son, Nick Geffen, who’s been eating healthy food for years, honouring his body in spite of my bad eating habits. What an example of “living your truth’’!

3.       Julia Cameron, author of The Artist’s Way, whose book pushed me right out of my comfort zone and propelled me into action in areas of my life where I was feeling stuck. (Read it!)

4.       Lisa Nichols (US author), whose own radical weight loss and motivational talks gave me the courage I needed to take the next step.

5.       Terry Crews, Anthony Robbins and so many others, whose motivational talks I watch online, and who have hard-hitting, powerful stories of their own about overcoming obstacles and rising higher than they thought they could. 

It is Day 31. I have lost 5.2kg. I have 10,5kg more to lose. I will weigh myself every 14 days, and I will write as I go along. This is my year of radical transformation.

                     I have a delicious chicken salad at my gig at Sabria's Restaurant on Saturday nights. 

I like to think of it as giving myself the gift of good health. And you know what’s extra special, in this materialistic world of ours? This is not something that money can buy – you have to rely on the resources within yourself.

 I have fallen totally out of love with unhealthy food, and totally IN love with what’s good for me.

                                                          27 Jan 2018, Day 20 of Reboot