Two Blankets Later / Lockdown Day 219

I was surprised, when I read my last post, that it had been so long since I'd last blogged. The thing is, I think about blogging every day, but end up doing it so seldom. Life just happens, and you have to choose which things you're going to be disciplined about and which things you're going to indulge in when you can. It's about time, space and mood. My daily discipline includes journalling - by hand, in an actual book - and doing Mind Power exercises. I started training with a fitness group, four weeks ago, building up to a nice routine, but had some health issues this week, so skipped the training. Blogging ends up being a luxury I indulge in when there are no other demands on me. 

                                                 The field where we train (Constantia).

I was also surprised to see that my last blog was about The Yellow Blanket, because I've since completed a little boy's blanket (took 14 days) and am just about to complete an adult's blanket, The Blue Blanket, which I started on 11 September, 7 weeks ago. If my weekend goes my way, I'll complete it by tomorrow evening. 

                                                  Blanket for little Lukas, my niece's baby.

So much has happened, since I last wrote. It's just life - some really cool things, but also some really sad things. Staying on track, on your intended path, is not always easy.  You can plan, you can even find  the right words, to remain open and inviting, and not close doors, but you can't control how others respond to you. That's been my hardest lesson, since I last blogged. Someone else's mistaken version of who you are, with all the evidence they have to support their view, will live and grow if you're not given an opportunity to speak for yourself and present your side of the story. If attempts at communication, aimed at sorting out a misunderstanding, are shut down, that ugliness will persist and, in some cases, cause permanent damage. 

All I can say is that, at age 59 (oh, I also had a birthday, since my last post), I owe it to myself to regularly examine patterns in my life and be clear about what I do and don't want to continue with. I accept that we don't all express ourselves in the same way, that each of us has a context and a set of rules by which we live, as well as opinions about others. But if someone is asking for a dialogue, to address perceived misconceptions, the only way that can be resolved is if the two parties sit down and talk. If the two-way talk is not possible, then with a third person, preferably a skilled mediator - the desired outcome being a better understanding of each other's views, and a win-win solution for everyone involved. When I'm asking for that, and the person flatly refuses to meet, and is fine with leaving the relationship broken, I actually don't know how to proceed from there. In my opinion, it's a very short-sighted way of dealing with conflict and can only mean the person gets something out of  the relationship remaining broken. A rather disturbing thought.  

But life is multi-dimensional, and there are other parts of my life that are literally thriving. I developed a renewed interest in gardening, under lockdown, and recently planted a whole lot of seedlings with colourful flowers, turning our backyard into a pretty picture.  

                                                            Marigolds and pansies

My daughter's third year at college is almost at an end, with exams around the corner. My son got great news - his first short story submission was selected for publication in an Africa-wide anthology, being released in 2021.  

At work, I'm faced with the dilemma of having returned to the office, a few days a week, with all the pitfalls of exposure to others, using shared toilets, people not following COVID rules, etc. What lockdown has taught me is that there are some people for whom working from home was easy  - and preferable - and others for whom it just did not work. I think that two of the deciding factors are the infrastructure at home, and your  personality. Some people simply don't have a quiet space where they can shut out little children and work in peace. Some people might have that, but are so dependent on the hierarchical structure at work, that they can't actually self-manage. When different team members have different rates of success at working from home but all are told to return to the office, that's really tough to deal with. I'm really frustrated that this one-size-fits-all approach is being used.   

On a day that I was working from home, I had to take my daughter to college for two hours, so I sat down at a nearby coffee shop and just carried on working from there. 

On the music front, an exciting thing I've achieved since I last blogged was to compose a 30-second piece of music, which was accepted by the people who approached me. This will be the signature tune - called a 'sting'- used for a podcast series. Seven women (including me) were interviewed about their lives, and each interview will be aired as a twenty-minute podcast.  I think this will happen in November. I can't wait! 

As the COVID-19 pandemic goes through its scary second wave, in the northern hemisphere, it's become clear that there's a seasonal aspect to the spread of the virus. In addition, and we're seeing it in South Africa, as well, there's a recklessness to some people's behaviour that not only increases the infection stats, but will ultimately result in a return to tighter lockdown levels. 

I have no idea what November has in store, nor what Christmas 2020 will be like. At this stage, if we're all still healthy, I'd be happy to have a small family picnic in my garden. 

                              Lockdown picnic - homemade chicken & salad wraps, with iced tea.