"If there's music inside of you, you've got to let it out." (From my song, Music Inside of Me)

Hi! I'm Trudy Rushin, and this is my blog, created in June 2009. I am a singer-songwriter-composer who plays guitar. Born and bred in Cape Town, South Africa, I blog about whatever captures my imagination or moves me. Sometimes I even come up with what I like to call 'the Rushin Solution'. Enjoy my random rantings. Comment, if you like,
or find me on Facebook: Trudy Rushin, Singer-Songwriter.

I also do gigs - solo, duo or trio - so if you're looking for vocal-guitar jazz music to add a sprinkle of magic to your event, send me an e-mail to guitartrudy@gmail.com.

To listen to me singing one or two of my original songs, type my name on www.soundcloud.com or www.youtube.com


















Tuesday, 28 June 2022

This Is My Journey

Three days ago, I did my first concert in three and a half years. This time, we were four musicians, from two generations: Keith Tabisher (guitarist, composer), Summer Dawn (singer-songwriter), Clayton Seas (guitarist) and I. It was our shared hunger to perform live that found us creating  our own event.  

There’s so much I want to write about. As someone who pays great attention to detail, I believe everything has at least three phases – before, during and after. In every phase, I could easily be accused of overthinking, but the ‘after’ phase is definitely a time for reflection and assessment.  I sometimes forget that not everyone is as critical as I am, and  - even more importantly – that not everyone wants to deal with constructive criticism. So I do it as a solo activity, unless an opportunity arises – in a line-up like this one - to reflect, as a group.  I learnt from my mother, who performed from age 14 to 82, the importance of listening to recordings of your performances, in order to learn and grow.  

For me, this concert was about so much more than anyone may realise.

·       It was a celebration of life, having survived the past two and a half years of the Covid pandemic. 

·       It was a reclaiming of my identity as a performer of original work and a creative entrepreneur.

·       It was a celebration of the three people with whom I shared the stage:

 – Keith, whom I’ve known since high school, who’s been my duo music partner since 2003, and who’s shared so much of my music journey;

-           Clayton, a talented young man I met in Sweden, in 2017, when he was a teenager. He was part of the  World’s Children’s Prize band, and I was attending the gathering as a representative of one of the funders. Three months later, I included him in a concert I did at the Nassau Hall, in Cape Town. Since then, we’ve been talking about another collaboration; and

-           Summer Dawn, my daughter. I’m acutely aware that, as an exceptionally talented and newly-qualified performer (after 4 years at the Waterfront Theatre School), with a busy performance schedule and an interest in working abroad, she might not be in South Africa for long. We love singing together, and I really wanted to perform in public with her, to share our sound, but also to seize the day, as it were. I also really wanted her to sing her originals. 

·       It also ended up being an opportunity to renew my working relationship with André Manuel, who did our sound and lighting. André and his wife, Chantel Erfort Manuel, the co-founders of Dala Flat Music, have played a huge role in my music journey, since 2004. In fact, André has done the sound for me at every one of my concerts.

·       It was an opportunity to perform original work. Even though only two items from the first set (Clayton & Summer) were originals, the entire second set consisted of Keith and my originals.

·       Venues always fascinate me, so it was a wonderful opportunity to perform in a historical church – the church my father attended as a boy, before the Group Areas Act forcibly removed “Coloured” people from Claremont. Singing my song, “In the Shade of Table Mountain”, about District Six, was deeply meaningful to me.

Now that we’ve done the concert and we’re just waiting for the official photos and video, I’m in deep reflection mode. What can I say? I’m a triple Virgo (yes – Sun, Moon and Ascendant), so detail is my game.   

In future, I would do two main things differently – use the performance space better (we kept moving chairs and tangling cables), and stick to our planned timing. We ended much later, which was avoidable. Fortunately, these two things can be addressed. The other things I'd do differently are not for this post.

I’ve listened to the audio recording of the concert twice already, and have been engaging with my own performance, confronting the bits I wasn’t happy with, but also appreciating the bits I’m proud of. To my surprise, I was incredibly nervous, which hasn’t happened to me for a long time. I need to spend some time processing what that was about, and how to eliminate it, in future.   

I loved collaborating with these artists, each of whom has a uniqueness that I enjoy and celebrate. The rehearsal process was enjoyable, and we got used to spending time together. Rehearsals are about so much more than just singing your songs repeatedly and agreeing on keys and tempos. There’s a group dynamic that is built, in the process – on stage, everyone depends on everyone else. That trust grows during the rehearsal process.

This concert was remarkable, in that we put it on without any funding, relying 100% on ticket sales to cover our costs. Along the way, I kept the artists aware of the range of our earning possibilities, depending on the number of tickets sold. Two of our core service providers turned down remuneration, which was extremely generous. 

In closing, I want to say that, for me, this concert has highlighted two things, crucial to my journey; things that will undeniably inform my choices from now on:

·       This is the first concert I’ve put on (since 2009), where I’ve included myself as someone to be paid. Yes, for the very first time, I have earned something from one of my concerts, and not run at a financial loss. I’m consciously breaking patterns that no longer serve me.  It’s part of living with healthier boundaries, and of honouring myself as I do others.

·       Singing my own songs to a live audience is a completely different, and far more fulfilling, experience to singing covers as background music. As with most things in life, it doesn’t have to be all or nothing - the latter (singing covers) is always going to be about staying musically active and earning something in the process. But where my heart lies is in singing the songs I wrote - the songs that tell the stories inside me.

I’ve already got my next concert concept buzzing around my brain. I don’t want to lose momentum. Ultimately, I have to learn how to best manage my energy output. At age 60, I feel the need to accelerate plans I’ve put on hold for so long.  I want to push beyond my self-imposed boundaries.

As I sing in one of my songs, “This is my journey / The road ahead, the road behind / My journey – who knows what I’ll find?”   

              L-R: Clayton, Keith, Trudy & Summer (Photo: Berne Muthien / 25 June 2022)

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