Background music, as I start typing this post: Clair de Lune, by Claude Debussy, one of the most beautiful pieces of music, and one I often listen to on repeat, because it's complete - it doesn't need other pieces of music for context, meaning, or identity. In a way I can't describe, it completes me.
When I switch on my laptop, I am faced with pics of my two profiles - my personal one, which I've had for as long as I've had this laptop (about 8 years), and my school one. I purposefully don't have my school one on my phone, because it saves me from 24/7 reachability. It's too much. I've noticed an expectation from people, in different parts of my life, that I will always be reading texts and emails. I don't even have email notifications on my phone - I'll see your email when I check my emails. It's all too intrusive. You can't ever fully relax, because you might be contacted. The worst is when people video call you without prior arrangement. That call will never be answered by me - that is the ultimate intrusion on my personal time and space. I have a right to time out from others. Living alone makes this even more important. I enjoy and look forward to time away from people. The longer I live alone, the more right it feels for me. Also, I believe that late-night calls are for close people, or for emergencies. If you're not in my close circle, unless it's urgent, call me the next day.
On Facebook, I also have two profiles - one is my personal one, which I've had since 2009, and the other is my musician page, which I started in 2013. I spend a lot of time on my personal one (which my students tell me is an old-person's platform), but hardly go onto my muso one when I'm not musically active. Actually, I think I'll change that. Not doing gigs because my day job depletes me doesn't mean I'm no longer a musician. I still listen to and enjoy music, and occasionally play and sing on my own at home. And I enjoy seeing what other musicians are doing, especially in Cape Town. When I see my Facebook memories from a few years back, I'm shocked by how much my life has changed since re-entering full-time public-sector teaching. I honestly don't know how anyone manages to maintain hobbies (let alone relationships!) while being a full-time teacher. The little time that you're not at school, you spend doing your domestic chores, and squeezing in a bit of time to relax and recover.
We're raised to believe that our jobs support our personal lives, but, while they earn us the resources from which to live, it's actually the other way around - the time I spend managing my personal life is so that my day job runs smoothly. I try to keep my flatlet uncluttered so that I can come home and do my schoolwork in an organised space. (I really need an extra room - just saying!) I cook for a few days at a time, on Sundays, so that I can use my evenings doing schoolwork, without having to prepare meals. A lot of what I routinely do is aimed at ensuring that I function optimally in my job. I live the way I do because of the job I have. I earn just what I need to survive. In months where I have additional expenses, like renewing my car license, I have to give up one of my other personal budget items - usually, my haircut.
But I constantly reflect and re-evaluate my choices. Wherever possible, I come up with inexpensive ways to infuse meaning into my life. My weekly walking habit is one example. Even though I drive 24km to get to my preferred walking space (it's complicated for South African women wanting to exercise outdoors), I decided that it was worth it. I can't quantify the significance of this habit in my life. The truth is, I would love to walk 5km every day, preferably on the beach, but for now I'm doing what works for my busy life. I aim to increase the frequency, staring with a mid-week walk, but since I decided that, my school programme hasn't given me the space to start. I suspect that when it finally does, we'll have hit our colder weather (already starting). I'll simply haul out my warmer clothes and layer up. If I could start and sustain (for 16 weeks so far) a weekly walking routine, I can definitely notch it up to twice a week.
All I know is that walking makes me very, very happy, and I want to do as much of it as possible. Maybe by next spring, I'll feel like signing up for one of those public walks. I can already feel my crowd-phobic side shouting Noooooooo!! I'll see.
Playing now on my Classical Piano playlist: When The Clouds Cleared, by Alexander Motovilov.
Saturdays have definitely become my catch-up-with-sleep days. I listen to my body. It's a way of honouring myself. I wake up without an alarm, usually after a good, long sleep, I have a leisurely breakfast, I journal or blog, and if it feels right, I go back to bed and have my chapter two sleep. I love the pure indulgence of it - the delicious antithesis of my week days.
On playlist: Spark, by Asti Fajriani
Remember my 2026 'motto'? It's "I show up for myself every single day, in good times and in bad." I think I'll drop the second part. "Every single day" says it all. I love how, when I reflect on each day, I see how I've managed to show up for myself, despite the feeling that I'm living the Plan B version of my life. I'll keep doing so. Even when we do small things for ourselves, we're showing ourselves love and care, which nourish our souls and keep us going.
Some of the ways in which I show up for myself:
* I take myself on a tranquil walk once a week.
* I start each day with lemon water.
* I eat only what I love (vegetarian since 1 Nov. 2025).
* I drink water throughout the day.
* I have set morning and evening routines.
* I avoid people who make me feel stressed.
* I journal regularly.
* I set my own standards, regardless of watered-down expectations.
* I play my guitar.
* I crochet.
* I've resumed my reading habit.
* I watch documentaries about other countries.
* I listen to music as much as I can.
* I remember who I am, and that I add value wherever I am.
* I take photos of nature in all its beauty.
* I smile. A lot.
Sea Point, on 1 March '26. I had such fun, jumping in and out of the spray from the wild waves.
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