Always Rushin: Lockdown Day 87

It's Sunday. It's lockdown. It's raining. The gift of today is that I don't have any appointments (these days, all online/virtual) and, if I could get myself to ignore those never-ending domestic chores, I could quite easily stay in bed all day and just emerge, occasionally, to forage for food.

In fact, I'll do just that.

Funny how one's mind works, especially as a mother. One of the hardest things about giving myself permission to stay in bed all day is that I feel I'm letting people down. This is something I need to actively work on. Everyone's life moves along just fine, without me, so why don't I give myself a break more often?

Actually, I'm getting much better at it. Just before lockdown, I took my first-ever solo holiday. I booked into a cute little AirBnB, close to the ocean, 54km from where I lived. I stayed there for three nights. I can't remember what the catalyst was, but from the moment the thought entered my mind, I couldn't shake it. I think it was a colleague planning her next family getaway and telling me what AirBnB places cost. I realised it was much cheaper than I'd thought, and I started thinking about going away. Oh, now I remember the main impetus - I'd been asked to contribute to a short story anthology, and my deadline was looming, so I thought I'd go away and spend a few days near the sea, just writing. The novelty of it became increasingly seductive.

I'd been doing some beach walking with a friend, in Bloubergstrand and Melkbosstrand, so when it came to choosing an area to take my writer's retreat, I naturally thought of that coastline. But I also liked the idea of Scarborough, a seaside area with a Bohemian vibe. Online, I found cute places in both areas, but when I thought about actually walking on the beach, it was clear that Melkbos was the safer. I'd also have the iconic view of Table Mountain, from that coast.

(Just took a look at my 2020 blog posts and I'm surprised I haven't written about this yet.)

I went away on 18 March and returned three days later. By then, we were all aware of the global pandemic, and social distancing was being strongly encouraged. Shops had started spraying shoppers with hand sanitiser, and there was growing insecurity about what lay ahead. I went, anyway, and I'm glad I did. It was tonic for my soul, and definitely the start of something new for me. (When our president announced, on 23 March, that South Africa was entering lockdown on 27 March, I realised just how precious that getaway had been.)

I loved being away. I wasn't alone all the time, although I have no doubt I could be. I met my friend for daily beach walks and on one of the days we drove to Philadelphia, a quaint inland town, 22km from the AirBnB. I bought crystals and cards at a delightful shop, called Magic Minerals, after which we had a lovely, rustic lunch at Pepper Tree.

In Bloubergstrand, eating supper at a seaside restaurant, while watching the sun set, made me feel a world away from my normal routines and responsibilities. I completely understand why people who can afford it, travel for leisure. It's like your whole being is different and you somehow attain a different perspective on your normal life.

I'd had my previous car for 16 years, and everything that could go wrong with a car, had gone wrong. One day, I got so sick of it breaking down, that I parked it in my yard and refused to drive it. I lived without a car for two years and three months, in which time I sold my old one to a neighbour. Just before starting a new job, I bought my current car, which was a demo model and the nicest car I'd ever owned. Entry level for some, but a dream for me. It fulfilled all my criteria: a five-seater, a spacious boot, four doors, a CD player, aircon and electric windows.

When we were without a car, we fantasised about what we'd do when we eventually bought one. We put a list up on the kitchen wall. One of the plans was to travel within our province and then to other provinces. I'm ashamed to say that, after four years, I haven't even driven through Sir Lowry's Pass with this car, let alone to Scarborough, a mere 34km from home!

And now that we're under lockdown, I crave the ocean. I crave getting into my car and just driving on a long stretch of road. The closest I came to that was a few days ago, when I had to take my laptop to the IT department at work. It was the first time I'd been in that building since 23 March, my last day at the office.

Life has become so weird. I've always been someone who's nostalgically enjoyed looking at photos, and now it's so much more intense. I'd be lying if I said I missed everything about pre-lockdown life, because, as an introvert, I don't miss being around people. For a long time, I've preferred being with one person at a time, or, at most, in small groups. Big gatherings freak me out. Going to the annual Cape Town International Jazz Festival is a huge leap, for me. And even when I'm there, I prefer the sit-down venues to the big open outside spaces where people smoke and squash up against you.

Yesterday, I read an article that addressed how serious the next 100 days of lockdown would be, and it hit me that this wasn't going away for some time and that I needed to set some important goals, in different areas of my life.

100 more days......! Quite intimidating, but also the perfect number for setting goals - wouldn't you agree?

I'm going to end this post with some pics of my little getaway. One day I hope to take trips further afield, as I experience the beauty of the Western Cape - a place that people from all over the world marvel at.