Not my favourite season

Another cold, rainy day. As much as I don't like to admit it, I am very affected by the weather. Cape Town has lovely summers, and we tend to live as though that is normal and everything else, an aberration. We bitch our way through winter, complaining about the cold, the rain and the darkness. Actually, just like in life, we should just accept that both types, including their extremes, are perfectly normal. We're lucky that we even get to experience the in-between seasons, autumn and spring, unlike many other countries. 

We have other challenges, here, though - our houses seem to have been built before South African  winters became this cold. The house in which I live is very draughty. It's not comfortable in winter; there are gaps by the doors and windows, letting in all the chills. My bedroom is the coldest in the house, as it's the southernmost room, with three external walls. On really cold nights, I sleep with a woollen cap, as well as a scarf around my neck.  Oh, and socks are a given.

When I visited Sweden, in 2017, one of the things that struck me was how well-insulated the buildings were. People would wear t-shirts indoors, then slip on warm, protective clothing to go out. Back indoors again, they'd wear thin clothing. It's interesting how carefully planned infrastructure impacts on everyday life, making things comfortable and pleasant for the people. South Africa has been so focussed on politics, and all the fall-out from apartheid, that it has failed to effectively deal with some of the most glaring human crises around the country. A lot has changed, which we tend to forget, while criticising the powers that be, but we all feel that a lot more could have been done. For me, our country is yet another example of a leadership vacuum. In any situation where the leaders are focussed on themselves and not on their constituents, employees or beneficiaries, that's a recipe for disaster.  

I think that the two sectors of South African society that seem to be playing an effective role in alleviating the suffering of the poor,  are faith-based organisations and NPOs (Non-Profit Organisations). Having said as much, I have to say that people are people, and you'll find instances of corruption in both of those sectors. One of the biggest sources of funding to NPOs in our country is the National Lotteries Commission, the COO (Chief Operating Officer) of which has recently been suspended for a THIRD time, under suspicion of having redirected funds to himself, to the tune of millions of rand.  

It's almost one year since I left my last permanent job, within a big company. I'm still freelancing. Currently doing only one job consistently, but picking up some small jobs here and there. I really enjoyed the proofreading I did, recently, and want to do more of that. I like the freedom of working from home, for many reasons. I don't have to drive anywhere (petrol's become SO expensive!!!), I can dress casually, I can eat and drink whenever I like, and I can manage my other tasks around my working hours. What I like to do is allocate a number of hours to my job, and be flexible with when those hours are. That leaves me free to go to meetings (about prospective jobs, including music opportunities), do grocery shopping, or even meet friends for coffee. It also means that I can work at night sometimes, if I've had a busy day. Having said as much, the advantage of working fulltime is of course the salary, as well as the peace of mind - relatively speaking, since I have been retrenched three times, while on permanent contracts.  

One of my biggest challenges, throughout my life, has been feeling "not good enough". Even now, at age 60, when I am offered an opportunity, the first thing I think is, "Why are they asking ME?!"  And the second thing I think of is a list of people I should recommend, instead. Where does it come from? When will I finally stop defaulting to self-deprecating mode? Everytime I think I've overcome it, I find myself doing it again. A few days ago, I was offered an opportunity to do something at an NPO, and today I was offered another opportunity to play some role related to young people from disadvantaged areas. I said Yes to both, but believe me, even while I was doing so, I was dealing with major imposter-syndrome energy. I'll write about the actual experiences after they've happened. 

Oh, I finished my blanket for the 67 Blankets for Mandela Day project, and handed it in this week. I am very proud of it, and I hope whoever gets it snuggles up warmly under it and feels all the love with which it was made. I took nine and a half weeks to complete it, and I'm very happy with it. I used mostly yarn that I had at home, but bought a few extra balls, to keep the colour pattern going. 

I've already started my next one. I was going to make a garment, but saw a ball of cute yarn called Pumpkin, which looked more like the inside of a guava, so I bought it and started making a small blanket, with a few other complementary colours. This will be suitable for a baby. Now to find a baby! Haha! I'll make the garment next, following a cute pattern I found on YouTube.   

I got the official concert photos from our photographer, Bianca Rasmussen, and it was lovely to look at them and relive the experience. I selected a few and uploaded them onto Facebook. I've been working on my next concert, but haven't nailed anything down yet. It will come together in its own time. You know the biggest lesson I've had to learn, in the process? Be discerning with whom you talk to about your concept. People can be so negative! I'd rather have 3 people who believe in me and support my ideas than 30 people who give me reasons why my concept will not work. I don't mind constructive criticism - in fact, I even ask for it - but downright negativity just pisses me off. When I was married, my then-husband did not understand me and my passion for music. He found every way to discourage me from even taking my guitar to friends' houses and playing at social gatherings. In my culture, we sit around fires and sing together, and if there's a guitar, even better. He couldn't relate to that kind of uncomplicated, unselfish sharing of oneself, so he dismissed it. He said I was looking for attention. In 1997, I did a demo tape (it was on casette at the time), and in 1998, took quite a few with me, when we travelled to the UK and US, on holiday. One day, we pulled up at the robots outside Capitol Records, in Los Angeles, and I said, "Hey, let me run inside and drop off a demo!" Without hesitation, he told me that that wasn't Cape Town, that many talented people handed in demos all the time, and that I shouldn't bother. And I didn't. It took me way too many years to fully realise that that wasn't about MY talent, but about HIS fear of taking risks! HIS fear of putting yourself out there and seeing how it works out. HIS insecurity!  

So, after living through different versions of that, I decided that life works much better when I'm solo. I have a hard enough time dealing with my OWN insecurities! If I can't have a partner who enhances my life, making it more beautiful and magical, I'd rather be alone. 

It's just after 18h30 and it's pitch dark outside! I really don't like winter. Even worse, we've been having three loadshedding sessions a day, where the electricity is off for two and a half hours per session. Daytime loadshedding is one thing, but at night....! Oy!     

I feel like I've spent this whole post complaining. Sorry!

To end off, here's a picture of the blanket I donated, showing the edging I decided on. 

                                 My contribution to the 67 Blankets for Mandela Day, 2022.  

                                         I look forward to making another one next year. 

     

This Is My Journey

Three days ago, I did my first concert in three and a half years. This time, we were four musicians, from two generations: Keith Tabisher (guitarist, composer), Summer Dawn (singer-songwriter), Clayton Seas (guitarist) and I. It was our shared hunger to perform live that found us creating  our own event.  

There’s so much I want to write about. As someone who pays great attention to detail, I believe everything has at least three phases – before, during and after. In every phase, I could easily be accused of overthinking, but the ‘after’ phase is definitely a time for reflection and assessment.  I sometimes forget that not everyone is as critical as I am, and  - even more importantly – that not everyone wants to deal with constructive criticism. So I do it as a solo activity, unless an opportunity arises – in a line-up like this one - to reflect, as a group.  I learnt from my mother, who performed from age 14 to 82, the importance of listening to recordings of your performances, in order to learn and grow.  

For me, this concert was about so much more than anyone may realise.

·       It was a celebration of life, having survived the past two and a half years of the Covid pandemic. 

·       It was a reclaiming of my identity as a performer of original work and a creative entrepreneur.

·       It was a celebration of the three people with whom I shared the stage:

 – Keith, whom I’ve known since high school, who’s been my duo music partner since 2003, and who’s shared so much of my music journey;

-           Clayton, a talented young man I met in Sweden, in 2017, when he was a teenager. He was part of the  World’s Children’s Prize band, and I was attending the gathering as a representative of one of the funders. Three months later, I included him in a concert I did at the Nassau Hall, in Cape Town. Since then, we’ve been talking about another collaboration; and

-           Summer Dawn, my daughter. I’m acutely aware that, as an exceptionally talented and newly-qualified performer (after 4 years at the Waterfront Theatre School), with a busy performance schedule and an interest in working abroad, she might not be in South Africa for long. We love singing together, and I really wanted to perform in public with her, to share our sound, but also to seize the day, as it were. I also really wanted her to sing her originals. 

·       It also ended up being an opportunity to renew my working relationship with André Manuel, who did our sound and lighting. André and his wife, Chantel Erfort Manuel, the co-founders of Dala Flat Music, have played a huge role in my music journey, since 2004. In fact, André has done the sound for me at every one of my concerts.

·       It was an opportunity to perform original work. Even though only two items from the first set (Clayton & Summer) were originals, the entire second set consisted of Keith and my originals.

·       Venues always fascinate me, so it was a wonderful opportunity to perform in a historical church – the church my father attended as a boy, before the Group Areas Act forcibly removed “Coloured” people from Claremont. Singing my song, “In the Shade of Table Mountain”, about District Six, was deeply meaningful to me.

Now that we’ve done the concert and we’re just waiting for the official photos and video, I’m in deep reflection mode. What can I say? I’m a triple Virgo (yes – Sun, Moon and Ascendant), so detail is my game.   

In future, I would do two main things differently – use the performance space better (we kept moving chairs and tangling cables), and stick to our planned timing. We ended much later, which was avoidable. Fortunately, these two things can be addressed. The other things I'd do differently are not for this post.

I’ve listened to the audio recording of the concert twice already, and have been engaging with my own performance, confronting the bits I wasn’t happy with, but also appreciating the bits I’m proud of. To my surprise, I was incredibly nervous, which hasn’t happened to me for a long time. I need to spend some time processing what that was about, and how to eliminate it, in future.   

I loved collaborating with these artists, each of whom has a uniqueness that I enjoy and celebrate. The rehearsal process was enjoyable, and we got used to spending time together. Rehearsals are about so much more than just singing your songs repeatedly and agreeing on keys and tempos. There’s a group dynamic that is built, in the process – on stage, everyone depends on everyone else. That trust grows during the rehearsal process.

This concert was remarkable, in that we put it on without any funding, relying 100% on ticket sales to cover our costs. Along the way, I kept the artists aware of the range of our earning possibilities, depending on the number of tickets sold. Two of our core service providers turned down remuneration, which was extremely generous. 

In closing, I want to say that, for me, this concert has highlighted two things, crucial to my journey; things that will undeniably inform my choices from now on:

·       This is the first concert I’ve put on (since 2009), where I’ve included myself as someone to be paid. Yes, for the very first time, I have earned something from one of my concerts, and not run at a financial loss. I’m consciously breaking patterns that no longer serve me.  It’s part of living with healthier boundaries, and of honouring myself as I do others.

·       Singing my own songs to a live audience is a completely different, and far more fulfilling, experience to singing covers as background music. As with most things in life, it doesn’t have to be all or nothing - the latter (singing covers) is always going to be about staying musically active and earning something in the process. But where my heart lies is in singing the songs I wrote - the songs that tell the stories inside me.

I’ve already got my next concert concept buzzing around my brain. I don’t want to lose momentum. Ultimately, I have to learn how to best manage my energy output. At age 60, I feel the need to accelerate plans I’ve put on hold for so long.  I want to push beyond my self-imposed boundaries.

As I sing in one of my songs, “This is my journey / The road ahead, the road behind / My journey – who knows what I’ll find?”   

              L-R: Clayton, Keith, Trudy & Summer (Photo: Berne Muthien / 25 June 2022)

Doing what I love, and loving what I do

My third post for the year! At this rate, I'm likely to upload six blog posts for 2022! It's ridiculous, because - as I keep saying - I think about blogging all the time! I should just schedule a weekly blogging slot in my diary - that way I'll blog on a regular basis.

It's just after 7pm on a Monday night, and it's raining, as it has been all day long. Yes, it's winter. After my weekend filled with music, I gave myself a PJ Day. I worked on my remote jobs in the lounge, all day, warmly and happily dressed in my pyjamas. Fortunately, I had no Zoom meetings scheduled, nor did anyone want to video chat on WhatsApp. This was exactly what I needed. 

So, about my weekend. On Saturday, I spent most of the day rehearsing with guitarist Keith Tabisher, for a gig we did yesterday, as well as for our concert in two weeks' time. Yes, that's new - I'm putting on a concert with Keith, my daughter, Summer Dawn, and another talented young musician, Clayton Seas. 

Ok, first let me tell you about yesterday's gig, then I'll tell you about our concert coming up later this month!! Yesterday, we played at a 90th birthday party, where a beloved father and grandfather was celebrated by his family and friends. It was a warm and wonderful gathering in every way. We played only covers, including a few special songs that the gentleman loved. On Saturday, I learnt May The Good Lord Bless and Keep You, by Jim Reeves, which rounded off one of the speeches. Keith and I loved every moment of the gig, and thoroughly enjoyed playing for people who appreciated our music. It was truly satisfying. 

Ok - I'M PUTTING ON A CONCERT, AFTER 3 AND A HALF YEARS!!! YAY!!!  

On Saturday, 25 June, after three and a half years, I am putting on a concert. This time, we're performing inside another beautiful old stone church, St Saviour's, in Claremont, Cape Town. I cannot wait!! In our line-up of four, we have two seasoned and two emerging artists. Our programme will showcase each of us in different ways: Keith, Summer and I are doing original work, and Clayton will be playing covers, paying tribute to some of his favourite artists. Keith, a brilliant guitarist, has a body of awesome original work that he seldom performs - a real treat for our audience. Summer's been writing exciting new songs which I know she's eager to perform. I'll be drawing from my older material, and I am super chuffed to be giving two recently-written songs their first public audience. It's been a while. 

The past two and a half years have been difficult for live musicians, and I've been aching to perform in a concert setting, to sing my own compositions in a beautiful space, conducive to my kind of music. This concert feels like a brand new beginning, and we're all very excited. Of course, it's winter in South Africa, the season when Cape Town gets most of its rain, so we're being quite courageous! There are so many ways to look at this. All I know is that I didn't want to keep putting off my concert plans, after such a long break. (E-mail guitartrudy@gmail.com, to book tickets. The concert starts at 15h00.) 

Oh, and I'm no longer doing the restaurant gig I had. It didn't feel right for me anymore, so I decided to leave. I enjoyed singing and playing my guitar there, I met really interesting people, and I'll always be grateful to the owner for the opportunity. I did a total of ten gigs there, and it was a cool experience. I won't say that I'll never sing in a restaurant setting again, but I want to consciously focus on performing to captive, listening audiences - people who've come there specifically to listen. 

And life goes on. 

My part-time teaching job came to an end, last week. That was also a huge opportunity that just fell into my lap, as a result of someone recommending me and the decision maker remembering me from when I taught there ten years ago. My students have just written their three English exams, and I'm holding thumbs that they all pass. They became really special to me, in the four and a half months I was with them. Wow, was it only that long? I was reminded how much I loved teaching English, but I was also very clear that I particularly loved the part-time aspect of it. I don't want to do the same thing five days a week. This is a new phase of my life, where I'm living my restlessness, unapologetically. I love variety. I love the possibilities I was told were ridiculous, before.      

And life goes on. 

It's ten months since I left my permanent job, and my life is shifting - steadily and wonderfully - in the direction I'd planned. My aim, at this stage, is to do what I love, love what I do, and earn money doing it. At age 60, I actually don't feel like labouring at anything. I'm consciously making choices that resonate with my essential self, and it feels fucking amazing! I honestly want to live my life with joy and  to say a big, unequivocal NO! to anything and anyone that blocks my naturally harmonious energy.   

I recently started a new income-generating activity: proofreading. I've done only one document/job, so far, but have discovered that it's something I'd really like to do on an ongoing basis. I have a lot to learn, but when it comes to correcting English language errors, that's the easy part. Wherever I've worked, colleagues have brought documents to me, to proofread. In fact, it's a dream job for a Virgoan, English Honours word nerd! :-)       

My daughter's been really sick, this past week, with a chest infection. It's meant she's had to forego her job that she loves so much, and also that she couldn't perform with me at yesterday's gig, as planned. Anyway, she's responding well to the meds, and the cough is finally sounding a lot less alarming.  I think she's also bored, as she hasn't been able to hang out with her two best friends. 

And, lastly, I'm 125cm into my latest blanket - the first one I've crocheted this year. I was planning to use up yarn that I had, and to make an anything-goes blanket, but my need for symmetry won the day, and I headed for my nearest wool shop, to buy a few more balls. This blanket is my contribution to this year's "67 Blankets for Mandela" drive, which happens around the late Nelson Mandela's birthday, on 18 July. Last year was the first year I submitted one, although I had attempted one a few years ago - I crocheted a huge granny square, and it came out skew, so I didn't donate it. Now, I just crochet rows, in bands of different colours. This blanket looks so cool - the most colourful one I've made yet! I now know how happy it makes me to work with so many colours. I can't wait to finish it and hand it in. I have my next crocheting project lined up already, but that will be a secret for now.  

Take care, wherever in the world you are. I'm determined to live my life as peacefully as I can, filling it with people and experiences that make my soul sing. It's been quite a journey, but I have more clarity than ever before about what I do and don't want in my life. And I'm finally courageous enough to say it without feeling I need to justify myself. What about you? I hope you are able to make choices that give you the quality of life you yearn for. Even if it takes years - it's worth it to keep striving for a life that you're excited to live. 

Peace    

Day 1 after lockdown

Day 1 after lockdown - what does that even mean? Last night, President Ramaphosa announced the end of our national state of disaster, which apparently brought an end to Lockdown Alert Level 1. I've been writing the lockdown day number on my calendar every day - it's going to be strange not doing so anymore. Last night was the first (or maybe the second?) "family meeting" I'd missed, since our President started addressing us on matters Covid (in March 2020). Either way, it doesn't feel as urgent as it did before, especially before vaccinations were a thing.  

Reading my last post, I realised how much time had passed since then. The seasons have definitely changed, and we're now taking out blankets and jerseys we last used months ago. And life goes on.

I had a very frustrating start to my day. Last night, in anticipation of my early rise (I'll write more about that), I ironed my clothes, put sliced fruit into a container, packed my bags and had a relatively early night. This morning, I awoke without my alarm and, instead of checking the time and the alarm, I smiled, rolled over and went back to sleep. Imagine my shock when I next woke up and saw daylight through my curtains - my alarm is usually set for 05h30, at which time it's still dark! I looked at my phone and it was 07h36!!!!!!!!! TWO HOURS LATE!!! I jumped up and sprang into action, sending a message to a WhatsApp group and getting through my morning routine at breakneck speed, all the time aware that I should be careful not to trip or fall, in my haste, lest I actually break something. 

Eventually got to my morning appointment at 09h20, instead of 08h30. Super embarrassing! 

Ok, so this is new, since the last time I wrote: I started teaching English to adult matric students on 8 February. Two mornings a week. And that's where I was supposed to be at 08h30 - in class, teaching! Normally, I leave home before 07h00 - to miss the INSANE traffic - and sit in my classroom from about 07h40, calmly reading through my lessons. That's how a day should start.  

And life goes on.

My four-Friday gig in Muizenberg turned into a longer-term arrangement, which makes me super-happy. I love it there! We started on 21 January and I've had to miss two nights because I wasn't well. I've now done 9 gigs there. For three of them, we were joined by brass maestro, Willy Haubrich, which was a real treat. I loved hearing the different brass instruments played over our duo sound. Pure bliss! For the past three weeks, we've had the incredible Gary Deacon join us, on bass guitar and - this past week - on guitar, as well. Wow!!! A superb musician and a really nice guy. I am incredibly lucky to be singing with these musical giants!   

My son and his wife had their wedding reception, a.k.a. Love Celebration, a few weeks ago, because, when they got married in December, there was Covid in their close circle, so a gathering was inadvisable. It was one of the most beautiful events I have ever been part of, and I am immensely proud of them for who they are, how they treat and bring out the best in each other, and how they seem to be getting it right to live as authentic people, within a world that can be prescriptive, banal, intolerant and even cruel. All I can do is wish them well. Life is full of twists and turns; I hope they navigate all those  by each other's side. I am so happy that my son, a beautiful, sensitive, creative and unique being, allowed life to send him someone so well suited to him, so much like him in so many ways. 

The research job I started in October is still a happy part of my life - I am now drawing up an introductory course for young people from marginalised areas, on jobs within the music industry. It's fascinating. Half of the time I feel like I'm not the right person for the job and the other half I feel like I was born for it. It changes all the time, I meet new people all the time, and I'm learning all the time.  It also feels like my role is changing as the process develops, which is really cool. I get bored very easily, when something's not stimulating. I like to be learning from whatever I'm doing. 

I've been thinking about the fact that I left my last job seven months ago. I took a retrenchment package and I did not have another job lined up - I basically took a leap of faith, believing something cool would turn up. And it did. And then another, and then a gig. And now that this gig has reminded me how much I love performing, I'm looking out for a second weekly gig. I also plan to put on another concert of my originals, sometime. You know when last I did that? December 2018. At the end of 2019, I decided against having my annual concert, and a few months later, Covid struck. 

It's bizarre that I blog so seldom, I know I often write that. I think about blogging all the time. Of course, I still journal daily, processing my thoughts and penning my observations of the world and everyone around me. In my previous post, I wrote about wanting to write more than I did in 2021 - this is not a good start. :-) We'll see how the year pans out with me and my blogging. 

My exercise life has hit a slump, for a few reasons. Last night, after a month of no exercise, I did a dance workout in the lounge, and loved it. I'll try to do three workouts a week - that worked well before. I miss exercising outdoors, but, until further notice, and until I sort out some other things, this is it.   

In the past few weeks, I've found myself in the company of couples who look happy to be together. I've enjoyed being around them and especially enjoyed observing the dynamics between them. I have no idea what it means, but it's really interesting. I've been happily single for a long time, because the alternative brought me so much misery. Maybe the universe is trying to show me that not all relationships are petty, competitive, exploitative and riddled with deceit. I do believe that it takes two people who are whole within themselves to make a happy relationship.    

Time to go. I don't teach tomorrow morning, but I get up with an alarm every week day, because I have the research job as well. Weekends I don't set an alarm.

My daughter's been very busy, which is great. It's her first year out of college and she needs to be working in the industry for which she trained. We're sharing my car, which is a necessity. I've been around long enough to know that everything changes - everything. Nothing stays the same forever.  At some stage, she'll get her own car and this phase will have passed.  Life has taught me to go with the flow when it's necessary. 

Till next time. 

Peace

                              Rudy Burns and I at Urban Soul, in Muizenberg / Photo: Greg Davids

First post for 2022 / Lockdown Day 668

Yesterday and today were two of the hottest days in a long time. Unlike KwaZulu Natal, which has a tropical climate, the Western Cape enjoys a rather moderate Mediterranean climate.  For us, a very hot day is about 30 degrees Celsius. The past two days have been 38, with a few inland areas experiencing temperatures above 40 degrees.

I think that our temperatures have become more extreme, over the years. Our winters have seen much lower temperatures than I remember as a child, and we’ve even had annual snow in some areas. February is supposed to be our hottest month, after which we start to feel the nip of autumn. If this heat is anything to go by, we’re in for an uncomfortably hot month ahead.

That’s the only way I can describe this heat: uncomfortable. The only real relief I felt today was when I took a short drive to the shops and switched on the car’s aircon. And, of course, the shop had aircon, as well. Other than that, I’ve been having a very uncomfortable day – my energy’s drained and I’m unmotivated. Typing this blog post is the most effort I’ve put into anything other than the drive to the shop.

Yesterday, we waited for the sun to set, thinking it would be cooler then. We ate our supper outside, trying to feel the relief from the heat, but it was actually a very warm evening, as well. We sat outside until it was dark, then made our way inside, trying to find the balance between leaving windows and doors open and keeping bugs out.   

January’s always an interesting month. I choose to see it as a new beginning, even if I’m continuing some things I did the previous year. Job-wise, I’m continuing my research job, which is part-time, and waiting for confirmation on a second part-time job. All I know is that I want to generate my income doing things that make me happy. I’m 60 years old and I believe it’s time for me to stop expecting life to be as complicated as it’s been for so many years. I feel like I’ve started a whole new phase of my life and I need to shed some of my old fears and insecurities, and start saying YES to offers that spark joy, without over-thinking everything. If I can’t find one job that will pay me what I need, I will find more than one job and have the combined income cover my expenses. It’s different to how things were done traditionally in my family and community, but I’ve been an independent adult for many years now, and I’ve taken many detours that were frowned upon, but that felt right for me. I’m still that person.

Recently, my music world became a lot more exciting. Last week, I was offered a duo gig with guitarist Rudy Burns, at a restaurant in Muizenberg, called Urban Soul Café and Bar. We started on Friday night and will be there for the next three Fridays. Wow! Just like that, I have a weekly gig! Our first night was really good. The staff welcomed us and helped us carry our equipment, were very flexible as we set up, moving some furniture to fit us in. The place had a Bohemian vibe and, just up the road from the beach, a lovely holiday atmosphere. The owners were there and received our music very positively. At the start of our last set, one of the owners introduced us, telling the diners a bit about each of us. This was new to me. Very cool, actually. I was relieved to find that much parking nearby, with parking guards in attendance. It can be quite scary, in Cape Town, carrying your equipment to your car and being approached by drifters. Especially for a woman.

Last week, just before we got the gig offer, I’d decided to spruce up my music files, which I’d started assembling in 2003! I know that I could’ve dragged the process out (I’m a procrastinator of note!), but once we got the gig offer, I worked on the files for a few hours every evening, completing everything well before the Friday gig. It felt like a new beginning within a new beginning. You know me – I love new beginnings. As much as I love structure, I get easily bored.  

I'm also doing a duo gig with Keith Tabisher at a friend's 60th birthday party, in February. I'm excited about doing live gigs again. Lockdown had a devastating impact on our industry. 

I look forward to the year ahead. I hope to blog as much as – if not more than – I did last year. We’ll see. My blogging’s been quite random, but maybe I’ll write in a more structured way, this year. We’ll see.

I wish you a good year. As we assimilate the Covid protocols into our everyday lives, I hope we still find opportunities to celebrate life and all its magic.

What’s my motto for the year? Not sure, but it’s something like this: Plan, Act, Enjoy. Essentially, when I look back at my life, the things that have felt the best, or the most successful, have entailed planning (being intentional and detailed), taking action (with a strong belief that I will succeed), and enjoying the success that follows.  Somewhere in that process, I’ll ensure I review and assess. I enjoy tweaking what I do, to do it better each time. 

May this be a memorable and magical year. Thank you, Universe, in advance.  

                                             The book I'm reading - a birthday gift in 2021. 

SA's 4th wave of Covid-19 / Lockdown Day 619

Finally sitting down to type a blog post. I am an inconsistent blogger.

Again, I can’t believe we’re at this point in the year! I’ve been at home for three full months. So many lessons learnt, in that time.

One of the main lessons for me has been that distractions are a given, so if I want to achieve anything at all, I have to give that action/task a specific time slot; if I plan each day, scheduling both my activities and hobbies, I get through a lot and feel a huge sense of contentment. Essentially, I’m doing only what I love – including my part-time research job. Without a PLAN, though – I’m likely to be sucked right into the belly of the Procrastination Beast.  I need to be mindful of that every single day.

I’ve exercised consistently for the past 6 weeks, but this week I had to stay away from classes afer Monday and work out at home, because…… my daughter tested Covid positive again, so we’re both isolating. Because the tests are so expensive, my medical aid is used up for the year and the cheaper tests have a higher rate of inaccuracy, I’ve been vacillating about getting tested. However,  I’m off to have a test first thing tomorrow morning.  

South Africa’s Covid stats have risen dramatically over the past week, reaching over 16,000 new cases per day. However, considering how expensive the tests are and the level of economic hardship across our country, the actual figure could easily be 5 times the reported one. Interestingly, the daily Covid death rate hasn’t been as high as in previous waves. We have officially entered our 4^th Covid-19 wave, this time dominated by the newly-identified Omicron variant. Highly infectious, but not really causing severe symptoms. My family is vaccinated, so we’re less concerned about the severity, should we be infected. Still, no-one likes to be sick and NO-ONE likes to ISOLATE, so it basically sucks.

Speaking of sucking, right now we’re having LOADSHEDDING. I am so sick of some of the things we’re going through in this country!!! A few days ago, we had yet another fuel price increase, bringing our total increase for 2021 to 40%! Had we had a safe, reliable public transport system, I would’ve got rid of my car. Seriously, I’ve been thinking about it a lot. I was without a car for just over two years, until I got this one in Feb 2016. In that time, I used what I’d previously spent on petrol on taxis. Right now, I’m spending four times my monthly petrol amount on my car instalment and insurance. Medical aid is unbelievably expensive, too.  When you’re in a job earning a monthly salary, you take these things in your stride. But I consciously stepped out of that comfort zone, and it’s a very different reality.

Despite all of that, I have no regrets about my 2021 choices.  I love my part-time job, I’m learning a lot, and it might lead to something else. I would love to be more musically active, as well, earning money from performing. Covid’s resurgence, with the inevitable result of people staying away from events, means putting that on hold. Again. I think I should find someone to help me with online sound, so that I can do online performances with good quality sound. Yes, I think I’ll do that. Performing with just my p.a. system and my laptop – not reliable, good quality sound at all.    

Two weeks ago, I did my first live gig since March 2020! A duo gig with guitarist Rudy Burns, it was at the Arabella Hotel, in Kleinmond, just over an hour out of Cape Town. We thought we were playing from 6 – 9pm, but ended up playing till 10. Needless to say, we loved it. When you’ve been playing for three hours, you’re so warmed up, that adding another hour is a pleasure. The place was gorgeous (I love experiencing new venues) and the gig fee decent, so all in all, it was a very good experience. Having said as much, if I were to play there again at night, I’d prefer to sleep over and not travel back so late.  It’s a beautiful drive, which I’d prefer to enjoy by day in both directions.

My daughter got her driving license about a month ago, so we’re sharing my car. Another new reality. 😊 She’s just finished her four years at college, so once she’s settled in a job, she can work towards getting her own wheels. 

Once again, I have to reiterate the cliché: The only constant in life is change.

There’s another exciting thing happening in our family, this month, but I’ll write about that in my next post.

And life - with all its hills and valleys – goes on. Despite some challenges, I am still extremely lucky and blessed.

                                  The beautiful Arabella Hotel, in Kleinmond (Google Images)

So much has changed / Written 05 Nov '21 / Lockdown Day 589

I’m always surprised when I see how long ago I last posted a blog, because I think about blogging all the time. I journal every single day, but it’s different from blogging. A lot more personal.

Wow – SO much has changed since I last wrote!

I left my job at the end of August, taking a voluntary severance package, without lining up a new job. At the time, I’d taken on some part-time online marking, which was a first for me. It proved to be a very interesting and enlightening experience. I was lucky enough to be kept busy with marking right until this week. I am grateful for the income. 

Looking at today’s date, I can’t believe it’s already been two full months that I’ve been at home.

The entire experience has been completely different to any other time of my life. Firstly, Old Trudy would never have left a job without having secured another. Had she done so, Old Trudy would have been super stressed, accepting the first offer that came her way, out of fear of not getting any others.

As it turns out, I am New Trudy, who does life differently. It was less of a plan than an evolution. Everything in my life up to now has moulded me and brought me to where I am, today. It sounds so obvious, but it’s extremely profound. In my case, it comes with an immense sense of acceptance of who I am, and peace – so much more peace than I thought possible, given the adversity I’ve dealt with, right up to this year.

Anyway… back to the job front. After extensive chats with someone I knew and trusted, I was offered an opportunity to co-write a funding proposal. Phase 1 was accepted, so I am currently engaged in research – also a new area for me, but absolutely fascinating. Beyond the research process, there might be another role for me. Time will tell.

So this is the New Trudy. Having turned 60 two months ago, I can’t help thinking about what it means to the world out there. To me, it’s an exciting and wonderful time of my life. Firstly, within the context of the Covid-19 pandemic, I am grateful to be alive, but even more so to be in good health, both physically and mentally. Having a mom afflicted with Alzheimer’s, I appreciate every day of my life that I wake up with all my mental faculties intact. Or, as my mother would say, having all your “varkies” (piglets). 😊

In terms of job prospects, I feel I have so much to offer and that the right situation for me will turn up. Old Trudy would have focussed on what she lacked, or the negatives about being 60.

I’ve managed to keep up my fitness regimen, and have recently started making healthier food choices, with a view to losing weight. I set a weekly goal to do three workouts and sometimes other arrangements get in the way, which frustrates me. Later today I’ll do a one-hour fitness class, which will bring my weekly total to three. On Sunday, I’m doing my first ever Sleekgeek event, a 5km walk. I can’t wait. It will be about 100 people, walking as part of a health and fitness movement, right next to the sea! I’m so excited! I joined this group in late 2017, I think, and have never been to any of their events. I’ve put the word out in our fitness group, so others in our group are also walking on Sunday.

I would love to build up my running, to do a 5km run sometime. I was hoping I could achieve it by the end of this year, but I think the end of January might be more realistic. There are 9 and 12 week programmes I’ve seen, which allegedly get you “from couch to 5km”. I’ll see. There are some things for which I set deadlines and others that I allow to flow more organically. I love the unhurriedness of most things in my life, now.

On the music front, I was delighted to have been offered a duo gig at a hotel. It’s in two weeks’ time, and I’ve been practising. This will be my first live gig since March 2020, before lockdown. It’s in a beautiful venue, overlooking the sea, and I’ll be playing with one of my favourite musicians, Rudy Burns. I cannot wait!!!   

                                  7 Nov 2021 -  Sleekgeek 5km walk - Sea Point Promenade