My daughter left for Thailand, on Monday 30 June, with ten
other Grade 10 pupils from their school, one teacher and two staff members of
World Challenge, the company that organized the trip. It’s called an
adventure-outreach expedition, and includes a three-day hike in the jungle
(Bangkok) and five days‘ community work in a situation of need. In their case,
they’ll be at an orphanage. After those two components have been fulfilled,
they’ll have a few days in which to visit the temples, lie on the pristine
beaches, and shop! I think I’ve written quite a bit about World Challenge and
what they do, so I’ll write about my own journey, instead. And what a journey
it’s been. A first, for me.
Where do I start? Ok – at the beginning. World Challenge
visited my daughter’s school last year and did a presentation on their 2014 Thailand
trip to the Grade 9 pupils. My daughter came home very excited, and said it was
something she really wanted to do. I went to the presentation for parents, a
few days later, and could fully understand why she was that excited.
We discussed it, considered the amount we’d need to raise,
looked at the payment schedule, and decided that we’d take on the one-year
challenge to raise the required amount of money to get her to Thailand. One of the things I like least in life is disappointing a
child, especially breaking a promise. I knew this was one of those promises
which, once made, I would move heaven and earth to keep. I’ve also been
disappointed often enough to approach things in life with an attitude that
relies 98% on myself, with just a small margin for outside help. At the time of
taking on the challenge – to raise R28000 in one year – I was acutely aware
that I had never done anything like it before. Never. And I knew it was going
to be a journey and a half! J
At the outset, I told Summer that we had to use our existing
skills and talents, as that was the most obvious way (to me) to generate an
income. Basically, do what you already can. If I were someone who could cook
well, I would’ve cooked and sold the food. But that’s not where my talent lies.
(Believe me!) We spoke about it, and came up with a long list of different ways
to raise money, as well as to publicise the fundraising drive and keep it on
people’s minds all the time, but I knew that 20 good ideas on paper often
translates into 2 practical, sustainable projects. And so we set about
implementing two of the ideas: putting on music concerts (my area of skill) and
baking cupcakes (Summer’s). The cupcake idea was short-lived, because our oven
broke somewhere during the year and we didn’t have money to fix it. That was
another element of the past year – we were so focused on “Getting Summer to
Thailand”, that our plans and goals became divided into “Before Thailand” and “After
Thailand”. Whatever broke could only be fixed after we’d achieved the trip to Thailand.
While it’s fresh in my mind, I’d like to give some advice to
any parent thinking of doing the same thing:
1. Raise more
than the amount you have to pay to the organization, because there are many
other costs involved, like buying the hiking and other equipment, having
vaccinations and coming up with the spending money your child needs. I liked
the fact that the parents had to agree on a set amount, at a meeting. This was
in keeping with the overall ethos of the organisation.
2. Establish EARLY on in the year what the costs of
the individual items on the checklist are, and set up a plan to buy things
throughout the year. If you leave everything till after you’ve raised the basic
amount, it can incur steep costs in the last month or two – not comfortable or
exciting at all, and you don’t want to spend the last few days before your
child leaves in a state of anxiety.
3. Establish EARLY on in the year which items on
the checklist you’ll be able to borrow, as that also brings some peace of mind.
We were lucky enough to borrow a good rucksack and sleeping bag, as well as a
few other items, thanks to generous friends.
4. Use your networks. What I was telling my kids,
just before the actual trip, was that this networking thing isn’t just about
one project. It’s about living your life with compassion and generosity.
Because, when it’s your turn to receive kindness, it’s right there. Our family
and friends played a huge role in the realization of this trip, and I’ll never
forget their kindness.
5. Let people know that you’re putting time and
effort into your project, and they’ll be more comfortable donating towards your
cause. I saw, on the internet, that some kid (not part of this group) was
trying to crowd-fund her entire World Challenge trip, and in the end had to
drop out. The lessons World Challenge aims to teach, through these expeditions,
start long before departure day. One of the biggest lessons is that YOU can
make a trip like this happen, even if you’re not from a well-off family, by
putting in the effort. WE did, and so can you!
Once it became clear that I’d be the only
adult in the family working on and supporting the Thailand project, I had
absolute clarity as to the parameters and the task at hand. I also knew that,
for the next year, there’d have to be great personal sacrifice.
I knew that there were a few areas that
needed attention, and I worried that I wouldn’t be able to do justice to them
all. Something I worried about was getting Summer fit enough for the three-day
hike. I believe that, to prepare for anything, you have to do that same
activity. However, getting onto the mountain was a bit difficult, for many
reasons, so I consciously changed our lifestyle, so that daily walking, with
backpacks, could become a natural part of our lives. In October 2013, an
opportunity arose for me to implement this: I stopped using my car, because it
was giving me too many problems and costing me a fortune to run. The result was
that we started using public transport and walking a few kilometres a day,
which we did right until Summer left for Thailand, seven months later. I tried
to get her to join a group going up Table Mt at least once, but the hike happened when
she was writing exams, and I couldn’t justify that. Some decisions are layered,
and one has to make judgement calls every step of the way. It can be quite
exhausting, but you just have to keep your eye on the goal. And be the parent!
There were a few other challenges, but they
all served to make the journey more significant, as MANY lessons were learnt
along the way. I really hope Summer writes about her journey and what the whole
thing meant to her, but I can assure you, I
learnt a whole lot, mainly about myself.
I had little rules that I stuck to, for my
own reasons. One of them was that, everytime we transferred the next amount of
money (after a fundraising event or a big donation) to World Challenge, I made
sure Summer did the transaction at the ATM. I wanted her to be directly in
touch with the progress we were making. We also kept a flipfile, and put
everything in it, including a record of payments and the balance. We kept
records of every donation made. We wrote up endless checklists, too! This, in
spite of WC giving a detailed one to everyone. In the end, I put the checklist
on my phone and enjoyed deleting items as we bought the last round of things.
Early in June this year, I sold my car, and
used some of that income towards the project, as well. I wanted Summer to have a good camera for
the trip, but also because she’s a keen photographer (and YouTuber), and
hadn’t had a camera for a few years, so my special treat to her was a brand new
camera. No regrets. Everything we did, ended up being with Thailand in mind. If
I were to label that kind of focus, I’d say it’s a mixture of stubbornness and
determination. In Afrikaans, we say, “Jy hou dik”, which means you’re
persistent. You have to be, otherwise you could mislead yourself into thinking
things will just happen, and they don’t. Any goal worth achieving entails hard
work.
Looking back, I know I could have done more
to raise Summer’s physical fitness, but that was also an area where her
initiative was required. I’m realistic about how much I can and can’t take
responsibility for.
I decided, two days before she left (after
we’d done the foreign exchange, on a Saturday evening!), that I was going to stop worrying! I’m a pathological
worrier, so that was a huge step for me. We had one more loose end: I’d run out
of money and we needed a comfortable ride to the airport for Summer, her massive
rucksack, Nick and myself. (Now, let me put this into context: I believe that,
when most of your life is a struggle, and you believe that wonderful things are
not only possible in your life, but that you deserve them, you have to introduce a little luxury, every
now and then.) I called around and found a shuttle company that would take us
to the airport at 05:45 and allow me to pay them after my salary cleared in my
account, later that morning. Sorted. Yet another lesson – there’s always a way
to achieve a goal. But again, it comes back to how you live your life, what
kind of reputation you have, what kind of karma you leave in your wake. This
company knows me, so they were prepared to accept the later payment, knowing
that I was a person of my word. Nothing is insignificant. You are the sum of
everything you’ve been and done before.
So here I am, super-proud of what we were
able to achieve, happy that my daughter’s dream to go to Thailand has been
realised, fascinated that right now she’s IN Thailand, experiencing a part of
the world no-one else in her primary family has, and excited to hear all her stories
and see her photos when she comes back. I’m also keen to see the long-term
impact of this trip on her.
As a teacher, I believe that everything has
a beginning, a middle and an end, and I’m already making plans for a thank you
gathering, where we’ll invite everyone who was part of the fundraising (and
‘well-wishing’) to join us for a fun gathering, where she’ll share her pics and
experiences.
Watch this space!
And now? Now I need a new project! J
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