Skygazer

I know now, after being on holiday for 11 days - and being housebound for most of that time because of the freezing weather - that I would be a far more prolific blogger if I didn't have to go to work. Haha! I still dream of being self-employed, doing what I love from my home, and making a difference in my part of the world in a way that is authentic to me. But life has situated me where I am right now, teaching English at a college. It's funny how, when I first studied at a teacher training college, in the early 1980s, the idea was to be a teacher for the rest of my life. And yet, as time went by, life sent me new opportunities and I deviated from the original plan. Many years later, after some wonderful meandering, here I am again, teaching in a government institution. It affords me an opportunity to interact on a daily basis with the youth of today and to hear where they're at. Unfortunately, it's also shown me how the education system in South Africa has failed an entire generation. And that saddens me. I want to do something to show them that life has a lot more to offer than they've been told. But more so, I want to show them that THEY have a lot more to offer than they've been told.

It's a daily mission, to live my life in a way that presents my students with an alternative way of looking at things. A gentler, way, a way that builds bridges, instead of further excluding the already-marginalised.

I'm sad that television plays such a big role in the value systems our youngsters have. Most of them want the success and the bling, without any hard work. Reality tv has promoted the idea of becoming famous for doing nothing. Singers become overnight successes because of televised competitions. While it may show that that's a possibility for some, it obscures the fact that what the majority of people do to attain success is work passionately and persistently, over a period of time, until greater skill and experience are achieved; that then leads to more opportunities coming your way and to bigger and better platforms on which to ply your craft. Not an easy lesson to teach. It's one of those lessons you have to learn by living.

What I've also realised is that the concept of success varies from individual to individual, depending on age, socio-economic background, religious convictions, family value system and so many other factors. One of the things I've had to do, over time, was to redesign my belief system, which found me re-evaluating everything I'd been raised to believe, sorting through the pre-packaged, one-size-fits-all clutter and coming up with a set of views that more accurately reflected whom I had grown into being. What success means to me now, after certain life experiences, is very different to what it would've meant had I never been retrenched, never been unemployed, never had an acrimonious divorce (yes, you do get divorces that are not acrimonious) and so many other things.

But I was actually going to write about being a skygazer. I live in a house on a little hill, where I've lived for the past 17 years. And from this hill, I have a beautiful view of the closest mountain range and the sky. I must have taken hundreds of photos of the sky from my kitchen window. What does skygazing do for me? It quietens my spirit. It makes me stop the frenetic pace of everything and just stand still and gaze. It teaches me that change is constant. It teaches me that change is natural. I've learnt, over time, to read the clouds and understand weather patterns. Sometimes, because life gets so busy during the school term, I find myself hanging washing on the line late at night. Watching the night sky is even more magical. It reminds you of your fallibility, your vulnerability. It whispers to you that, if you hang in there, tomorrow will come, and with it, a promise of a whole new set of possibilities.

In the time that my daughter's been on her adventure in Thailand, I've photographed the sky every day, so that I can show her what our favourite view looked like in her absence.

I look forward to showing that young skygazer my pictures of the sky.