Hello, 2017!

Today is my only sibling’s birthday. Happy birthday, Wendy! May the year ahead bring you great joy and peace. May life send you the perfect conditions for you to spread your wings and fly.

I feel a strong need to write a detailed post, reflecting on 2016, but this is not the right moment. I’ll do so at another time. In fact, I started that post a while ago, but didn’t finish it. I’m writing in the lounge, with my mom sitting next to me; she’s watching the South Africa-Sri Lanka cricket match (live from Newlands, in our city, Cape Town) on tv, and I need to keep my attention focussed on her, as well as my writing.

My mom is 86, and has had Alzheimer’s Disease for 4 and a half years. In fact, the first diagnosis was Amnestic Syndrome. A year later, her responses to the same set of tests revealed that the condition had progressed/regressed to Alzheimer’s.  These tests, including a brain scan, were conducted at the Memory Clinic at Groote Schuur Hospital. Important work is done at that facility. Mom’s whole life changed, in late March 2012. In fact, the change was so sudden and profound, that we were convinced she’d had a stroke. The brain scans revealed a series of minor strokes and not one major stroke, apparently not atypical for someone her age.

One of the changes was that my mom could not live alone anymore, neither could she take public transport on her own, because she’d become disorientated and forget where she was. Quite a few of my blog posts in that year give details of what was happening. She went from living independently in the granny flat on my premises, to a room in my sister’s home.  She no longer cooked her own meals or went out on her own. Four and a half years later, it is my opinion that the decline has been minimal, but maybe we’ve just become used to it.

So my mom lives with my sister and comes to me every second weekend. During the festive season, when I’m home for longer, she comes for a week at a time. She sleeps a lot, and doesn’t really have hobbies, except reading.  I have her piano, and when she’s here, I like her to play whenever she can. Sometimes she’s here for a whole weekend without playing, because she doesn’t believe she can play. Sort of how many people live their lives, turning down opportunities and sabotaging growth because of lack of confidence. Ironically, or thankfully, she’s in excellent physical health.

Mom loves company, as she always has. Not crowds, but small groups. Her social life has shrunk to being wherever the family takes her and being taken out by one or two loyal friends. Many people cannot handle being asked the same questions every few minutes, so socialising is very different now. Some people try really hard, but others find it awkward, and move away as soon as they can. I take her along with me to my restaurant gig every second Saturday night, and she hums along as I sing. Music was her life, so I can only imagine how she enjoys it. Everytime we’re there, I introduce her to the owner and the manager, and sometimes she says she knows them from somewhere. To my surprise, she engages in borderline-flirtatious banter with the waiters, all young men. The staff love her, and have given her the nickname, “Beautiful”. J I sometimes think I should arrange a song-along for her and her friends, but then life gets busy, and I forget.  

My son, aged 22, is about to write his final exams at UCT, having opted to write in January. He did 2^nd year courses in 2016, and will do another round of 2^nd year courses in 2017, because he changed his majors. He’s studying BA, majoring in English and isiXhosa. It’s been fascinating, watching him grow from a school pupil into a fine young man, with an inquiring mind and a strong sense of social justice.

My daughter, aged 18, is waiting for her matric exam results. Having achieved straight A’s throughout the year, her expectations are high. We’ll know in 3 days’ time - results are published on the 5^th. She started a holiday job a day after completing her exams, and will carry on working, to save money for an overseas trip in the latter half of the year. In 2018, she’ll go back to studying. At this stage, her heart is set on Musical Theatre. So sometime soon, we’ll have to get those applications submitted, and sort out the funding.  

I managed to get a two-week break from work, after 10 months in my new job, and I’m enjoying the time off. The first week of my holiday was dominated by my concert preparations. The event itself, my annual concert with guitarist Wayne Bosch, on Wednesday 28 December, was a highlight of not only my holiday, but of my year. This year it was held at Erin Hall, in Rondebosch (where we did our first one, in 2013). The past two years, we used the District Six Museum. It’s a venue I love, but it has some limitations for live performance. I missed aspects of it – especially the rich narratives within the museum and how connected I feel to those narratives – but was happy to perform my compositions at Erin Hall, another old building with a rich history and a warm atmosphere. My restlessness, something I’ve learnt to embrace, sees me introducing change wherever I can, just so that I can experience something different.  So much of life is about routine and sameness, that I crave change.

This is, of course, that time of year where we tend to reflect on the past year and look forward to the year ahead. For various reasons, I haven’t really immersed myself in it like I thought I would have done by now, but the year is young. I’ve given myself the whole of January to do so.

I did my last gig at Sabria’s for 2016 on 31 December, and established from the owner that I’ll be there for at least  the month of January. I’ve been there since 31 Jan 2015, so it’s been a nice long stint. My repertoire’s become a bit stuck, despite adding songs as I’ve gone along, and I want to be more jacked up in the year ahead, stretching myself musically. I love setting goals that are measurable, and adding songs to my repertoire is indeed one of them.

I used to believe that how you ended a year was an indication of how the next year would be, and if that is so, I’m going to have a 2017 filled with performing. In December 2016, I performed ten times – exactly what I had been inviting into my life: music!music!music!

Thank you, universe. I am very excited about 2017.