Aligned

Tonight, I remarked that I needed to get ready for my early rise tomorrow, to which my daughter replied: “Mom, you have so much responsibility in every part of your life – how do you manage?”

I thought about it a bit, then said, “You get used to it.”

Of course, it got me thinking about what it was that actually enabled me to cope. I think a big part of who I am is attributable to my mother and how she raised us, as a single mom. There was something self-sacrificing about her, and I used to think to myself that, if there were a martyr gene, I hoped I wouldn’t inherit it! But I do come from a strong matriarchal lineage, and I think that women have such a fierce love for their offspring, that the martyr thing is unavoidable.

When I’m feeling really low and overwhelmed, depressed about how expensive everything is and how capitalism sucks, I feel totally alienated from my essential self and all the wonderful things that make me happy. In those times, I ask myself, “Whose life am I living?” I suppose we all dip into that abyss every now and then, don’t we?

But fortunately, we’re wired to be optimistic, always looking for something positive to say, so that life isn’t just one long depressive episode, where we’re sitting on our beds, counting coins and the number of days left before Pay Day. 

Tonight, I danced. My dancing days are Sundays, Tuesdays and Thursdays, but this has been such a weird week, that I last danced on Sunday. When you dance, just like any other form of aerobic exercise, you get to a point where you’re so thoroughly warmed up, that it seems your body is running itself – it’s like your mind doesn’t need to be engaged, because you’re just a moving body. You’re the observer. I love the feeling! I always dance to music that I like, so it’s a pleasurable activity. The feeling of exercising rhythmically makes me smile and feel alive. In fact, with my current lifestyle, dancing is the most movement I do at any time – I don’t run and I don’t swim; I don’t even walk for exercise, which is something I love.

So while I was dancing tonight, with my body knowing what to do, I could drift off on an independent thought journey and contemplate the things in my life that make me happy, and that are in tune with my essential self. Right now, those things are dancing, playing my guitar and singing, writing, reading, being with people I love, and eating healthy food.  

And what about all those hours spent doing my day job? Well, I happen to be lucky there, as well, because I work in an established company, in a modern building, with a beautiful view. Most of the people are nice. More than that, I work in philanthropy, which enables me to be involved in making cool things happen for people who need various kinds of help. It’s important to me that my job and my value system are aligned. 

How awesome is this? Tomorrow morning, I’m going to be involved in something VERY exciting, at the Sekunjalo Delft Music Academy, but I can’t give details - it’s a secret. Oooooooh!!!!

Looks like I’ll be doing another blog post soon.  Yay! I love writing! 

                                                           Thurs 12 July 2018