Our Wolf Pack / Lockdown Day 486

My children and I have always been close. We've always been able to talk at length, listening to and supporting each other, with lots of love and laughter. My favourite people, for sure. My son's partner became a fourth member of this little group, and a few weeks ago we decided to formalise our ongoing sharing and cheering on of each other into our very own support group. We landed on a name and promptly renamed our WhatsApp group "Wolf Pack", from the book, Women Who Run with the Wolves, by Clarissa Pinkola Estes. (You might be surprised that this was not my suggestion, even though I love it.) 

We meet once a week, on the weekend, to chat. At the moment, our meetings are on Zoom, which is purely for practical purposes, while we're under lockdown. We thought the meetings would last an hour, but we stop when we've all said what we wanted to say, which sometimes takes three hours. And it's all ok. It works best when it's organic, flowing from the participants. 

In our first gathering, we started out by talking about our goals and where we currently were in relation to them - what our challenges were, what our fears were and what we felt the steps were to get to where we wanted to be. In our weekly Wolf Pack gatherings, we talk about what the past week has been like, what we've achieved, what we feel we could've done better, what we did not get around to doing, and what we've learnt. We also talk about what we have in mind for the week ahead. As we develop as a collective, we're also discussing interesting ways to preserve what we've spoken about and record recommendations (books, etc.)

We share a lot - habits that have helped us, tips for different things, podcasts, websites and YouTube links, as well as specific "motivational speakers" and Ted Talks we've found inspiring.

After our second gathering, I spent some time thinking about why I'm generally not a group person (anymore) and why I loved this group so much. I know exactly what it is. In practically every group situation, there's an element of competitiveness, which this group is completely devoid of. That was an epiphany for me. I've always thought of myself as a group/collective type of person, but I've been disillusioned by many groups. Since my epiphany, I've understood that the reason is that competitiveness - by either the whole group or one individual - has ruined previous experiences for me. 

Today we're having our fourth gathering, and I can't wait. It's not just about sharing your victories - it's a safe space to say that you haven't achieved what you thought you would, without being judged. I've also found that in every gathering so far someone has said something incidentally - not even a point that was being made - that has resonated strongly with at least one other person in the the group and helped them gain a new perspective on something. As artistic and creative people, we don't focus only on career goals, but also on our respective creative projects, which I find exciting and inspiring.

We share similar personalities and life views, which makes it easy to open up and be vulnerable. We also help each other get over feelings of fear and failure and to embrace the complexities of life. The only reason we can be this open, is that unquestionable trust exists among us. 

One of the most important aspects of this group is accountability. You are accountable to both yourself and the group; you have to do at least two things: show up every week and fully participate in the process - sharing openly, without reservation.   

Another essential element is respect. While all four of us are introverts and empaths, sensitive and creative, we're all different individuals, and this kind of collective can thrive only when those differences are respected.  

I love the feeling of being part of something that feels so right. I love the many possibilities that exist, for the group, and I especially love the growing group dynamic, within such a short space of time.  As someone who's extremely patient and who loves working on goals over a period of time, ticking off checklists and journalling throughout, I believe that this collective has the potential to walk interesting paths together and witness astounding results.  

Personally, I look forward to our last meeting of 2021, where we will have had six months of supporting each other in this way and where we can reflect on the process and appreciate the road we've travelled thus far, as a collective.  

I have no doubt that 2022 will present its own set of interesting issues for the Wolf Pack to tackle. 

Ahoooo! (That's my wolf howl. :-) )